Military BS Stories or the last liar wins.

[Alamo]

Ah, casts and jumping. Our last school jump was in the morning, we got our wings, got a pep talk congratulating us... and then pulled a detail where we were pulling grass out of the gravel in front of an apparently deserted lower-unit HQ of some kind.

The next day we checked out and as I'm walking across the parking lot to my car I see this kid who I know is a Marine officer candidate. His leg is in a cast from ankle to hip. Thinking I'm stating the obvious I said "you broke it on the last jump? Good timing." He said no, he cracked it on the third jump, but he gutted out the run where they looked for the limping injured and made the next two jumps to get his wings. I told him he was going to make a good Marine.

 

[repeter1977]

I had my mom believing that I was in a safe area in Baghdad in 2004, until a mortar attack while I was on the phone. I told her someone knocked over a bookshelf and that I had to go. Not sure if she bought it.
Also, I didn't tell her that I had gotten blown up until they told me that they mailed her a story about me being injured, so I had to rush and call her before she got the article and thought the worst (even though it happened month or so earlier).

 

[actaeon277]

I had my mom believing that I was in a safe area in Baghdad in 2004, until a mortar attack while I was on the phone. I told her someone knocked over a bookshelf and that I had to go. Not sure if she bought it.
Also, I didn't tell her that I had gotten blown up until they told me that they mailed her a story about me being injured, so I had to rush and call her before she got the article and thought the worst (even though it happened month or so earlier).

Actually, you told your oldest brother to break the news.
Your older brother had to tell your dad, so that we could both tell your mom, and try to keep her from acting as if you were already dead.

 

[actaeon277]

Thanks for that dickwad

 

[actaeon277]

Our rule was the story had to begin with, "it was dark, very dark....."

If the lighting circuit blows up on a sub, it gets REAL dark.
The moon and sun don't make an appearance.
And the depth keeps God from hearing the screams or the prayers.

 

[DRob]

I had to get my draft status changed so I could get on IPD in 1967. Probably doesn't count, huh?

 

[2A_Tom]

He heard, He knew all would come out all right.

Psalm 139:7 Whither shall I go from thy spirit? or whither shall I flee from thy presence?

8 If I ascend up into heaven, thou art there: if I make my bed in hell, behold, thou art there.


9 If I take the wings of the morning, and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea;


10 Even there shall thy hand lead me, and thy right hand shall hold me.

 

[actaeon277]

He heard, He knew all would come out all right.

That only works for surface pukes.

 

[actaeon277]

And then there was the 2 times we lost depth control.
Guess which way the sub goes...

If you are imagining an elevator going down real fast...

 

[Spear Dane]

And then there was the 2 times we lost depth control.
Guess which way the sub goes...

If you are imagining an elevator going down real fast...

Dear lord that would scare me so badly I would STILL be pooping myself.

 

[edporch]

Have I got a military BS story for you!

A guy i graduated high school with enlisted in the Air Force.

Said one day he was up in an aerial refueling tanker plane.

Said they were going to refuel a plane, but the hose wouldn't connect up.

So he shinnied down the hose and manually connected the hose to the plane that was almost out of fuel and would've crashed killing many.
Said he saved MANY lives that day...

 

[actaeon277]

Dear lord that would scare me so badly I would STILL be pooping myself.

That's okay. If your in deep water, it's over before you know it. It's the water which isn't deep enough for the quick death that's the scary stuff.
Look up the Russian sub Kursk
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kursk_submarine_disaster

Most killed outright.
The survivors then either were burned to death, or asphyxiated, depending on how "lucky" they were.

 

[actaeon277]

Fairy tales start, in a land far away...


Veteran's stories start off... this is a no-****ter.

 

[KellyinAvon]

Have I got a military BS story for you!

A guy i graduated high school with enlisted in the Air Force.

Said one day he was up in an aerial refueling tanker plane.

Said they were going to refuel a plane, but the hose wouldn't connect up.

So he shinnied down the hose and manually connected the hose to the plane that was almost out of fuel and would've crashed killing many.
Said he saved MANY lives that day...

Uh boy. USAF been using flying booms for refueling since the KC-97 (same boom on the KC-135, KC-97 had propellers.) Now if you graduated in the 1930s and the guy joined the Army Air Corps? Then it's a possibility. I think it was called Question Mark and was the first experiment in aerial refueling. That used a hose.

 

[edporch]

Uh boy. USAF been using flying booms for refueling since the KC-97 (same boom on the KC-135, KC-97 had propellers.) Now if you graduated in the 1930s and the guy joined the Army Air Corps? Then it's a possibility. I think it was called Question Mark and was the first experiment in aerial refueling. That used a hose.

The guy I was talking about graduated in 1974, and enlisted in the mid to late 1970's.
Even growing up in school, this guy was known for a lot of "whoppers".

He also spoke of being in Special Forces when he was in the Air Force.
Believe me, the only "Special Forces" this guy was in was when the dinner bell rang.

Some years later, this guy worked at an Indiana State Highway Department road crew with many former military guys.
A friend of mine who worked there also, said this guy would tell these "whoppers" to the men there.
Lucky for him, he was so pathetic that instead of getting mad at him, they just laughed him off.

 

[KellyinAvon]

The guy I was talking about graduated in 1974, and enlisted in the mid to late 1970's.
Even growing up in school, this guy was known for a lot of "whoppers".

He also spoke of being in Special Forces when he was in the Air Force.
Believe me, the only "Special Forces" this guy was in was when the dinner bell rang.

Some years later, this guy worked at an Indiana State Highway Department road crew with many former military guys.
A friend of mine who worked there also, said this guy would tell these "whoppers" to the men there.
Lucky for him, he was so pathetic that instead of getting mad at him, they just laughed him off.

Man, guys working on a road crew laughing at the guy? That's like negative-zero credibility. I bet Uncle BS doubled-down too.

 

[Black Smoke]

The best food I've eaten at a messhall and location: cheeseburgers --> Schofield Barracks, Hawaii, pancakes --> Hickam Air Force Base, Hawaii and pancakes (tied with Hickam AFB) Osan AFB, South Korea. I'm Army Infantry.

 

[repeter1977]

The best food I've eaten at a messhall and location: cheeseburgers --> Schofield Barracks, Hawaii, pancakes --> Hickam Air Force Base, Hawaii and pancakes (tied with Hickam AFB) Osan AFB, South Korea. I'm Army Infantry.

Best food I ever ate military wise, in Qatar on my 4 day R&R at the Air Force Base. Ate so much it made me sick, finished being sick and went back for more. Regretted nothing. Also smuggled quite a bit of soda (Root Beer and Dr. Pepper) that wasn't even in Iraq. And I understand logistics, but I know supply and demand too.
Although, when my mom mailed homemade cookies, I got first dibs and everyone else literally fought for some. Had to ask mom to send more. Really thankful for that memory.

 

[2A_Tom]

The best food on Ft. Bragg was the 7th Psyops Bn Mess. They were a small unit compared to most Battalions, but had a really big mess hall.

They would serve thousands of meals a day to people that were not assigned there.

We always joked that the food was part of their Psyop effort.

 

[Nazgul]

In MARDET CV67, Christmas 1978, Sicily. Stuck onboard and the line to eat is about 2 hrs long. Across the bay is a supply ship anchored. A sailor from the ships photo lab says this is bs, gives me a camera and says follow him. We go to the officers gangway and he tells them we have to go and take pictures for the Hometown News articles. End up on the supply ship, ate twice, took pictures and they even packed us some turkey to take back.

Don