Be kind to your neighbors...

[Jeff]

That being said, we're already taling about a move in a year or so. It doesn't hep that my Aunts FIL is the one that turned him in those 37 years ago. This also freaks me out. I'm family to the guy that turned him in. Not blood family...but family.

I am glad that this is a option for and your family. Rehabilitated or not, I would not want him living next to me and my family. Good Luck.

 

[paddling_man]

Crap! No win situation, buddy. I can't tell you the right thing to do. I can only tell you that your daughter's safety has to come before her attachment to the neighbor - not that I believe you would do any less.

Is it possible he has changed? Sure. Has he been living in a world as alien from yours as possible for the last 40 years? Yep. Does he have a skewed perspective of reality now? You betcha.

There will be some turn-the-other-cheek forgiveness folks who will inevitably post here. I agree... forgiveness. Would I have the same concerns as you? Absolutely.

54 times with a pocket knife? Wow...

 

[printcraft]

...............

54 times with a pocket knife? Wow...

Yeah, tell me about it. "normal" people don't do that.
That takes serious hate and f'ed up soul to do that.
There is a disconnect there that cannot be overcome no matter how much time has been spent behind bars.

 

[Bill of Rights]

Good point. I will let him know. That being said, they can in fact be in the same house as long as the person in question does not have access to them. Be that locked in a room he can not access, a safe...etc. But a good point none the less.

I was going to bring up this same point. Locked room, safe.... Pff. Locks are for honest people.

Maybe the son has changed. I hope so, for his, his father's, and you and your family's sake. I hope so. I pray so.

God bless,

Bill

 

[MinuteMan47]

in 30 some years the person has had some time to think about stabbing someone to death. hopefully he did think about it and wont want to go back. maybe he will want to care for his father and enjoy the last years of life with him.

then theres the concerns you have which i 100% understand and would probably have the same fears if i were you.

the best i can do is say give it a try and see if he has changed or not. i obviously wouldnt bring up anything gun/knife related by any means.

He stabbed the woman 54 times. You would guess he would have had time to think about what he was doing after stab number 1 or 2...

 

[infidel]

Keep your friends close.
Keep your enemies closer.

Meet the guy and get a feel for him. Atleast so you know what he looks like.

 

[EnochRoot43]

Keep your friends close.
Keep your enemies closer.

Meet the guy and get a feel for him. Atleast so you know what he looks like.

I agree with this. And who knows, although you have expressed that you wish to have no contact with him, he might turn out to be an educated and competent conversationalist. Not saying you should adopt him or anything, but people can be full of surprises. As long as the surprise isn't a pocket knife.....

 

[Bigum1969]

Tough situation, RM.

I'm sure he changed in prison, but it may not be for the best. Surviving prison that long can make you anything but a saint.

The big problem is that this guy will likely be taking advantage of his father. And, when his father dies it could get worse.

You'll just have to wait and see.

Good luck, though.

 

[EnochRoot43]

And with the gun thing....are you in a position to perhaps offer to buy his firearms? Or help him sell them here? That would eliminate the risk of the son taking secret possession of them upon his fathers death...which is something I would be concerned about considering his crime.

 

[ATOMonkey]

How old is the son? Probably close to 60? See if you can find out what he's been doing in prison. I imagine that is probably public record. That should give you a good idea of what kind of person he is. All of his dealings with court should be part of the public record.

Some people actually do reform themselves.

 

[Arm America]

This whole scenario is about as bad as it can get.
(torn emotions, your daughter and families safety)

I'd keep my distance for about a month and would suspect
that your concern will move on.

He know longer knows his dad,
will not have a desire to care for him,
will not fit into society nor will find a job.

I suspect that he would find prison life easier and ultimately
end back there in short order.

 

[CorvetteTom]

I am stressed for you just thinking about this. I pray for the safety of you and your family. If you tell the guy you are worried/scared, he may tell his son and that may empower him. I'm a firm believer that prisons are learning centers that produce better felons.

It you don't feel you can adequately secure your family, MOVE!

I did find this tidbit:
According to a study conducted by the Bureau of Justice Statistics, approximately 67% (or two-thirds) of offenders who were released in the year 1994 were arrested again within three years. The rate of recidivism (returning to previous criminal behavior) varied slightly depending on the nature of the offense -- for example, drug offenders were more likely to be rearrested than violent criminals, though the difference was not significant. Within three years, slightly more than half (51.8%) returned to prison, either for a new crime or for a parole/probation violation. There also exists the possibility that criminals may commit further crimes without being caught in subsequent instances.

 

[RachelMarie]

Buying his guns...maybe. Selling them for him...SURE. Bringing up the fact that I think he needs them out of the house? Hard. But doable. He's a really stubborn old man (which is thereason we get along). I think he will take offense. He's sure he's changed...positive he has, for the good. I think he's oblivious.
I also figure he will be back in prison in due time...That being said, at what cost? I'll tell ya one thing...If he ever walks in to my house he WILL be shot (If I'm home). I also worry about not being home and him breaking in while I'm gone. I'm also worried about his father, as stated, he doesn't even know him anymore.

As far as looking at this guys records...How do I go about doing this?

 

[RachelMarie]

Keep your friends close.
Keep your enemies closer.

Meet the guy and get a feel for him. Atleast so you know what he looks like.

I don't know if I can hide the look of complete fear. Because that's what I feel. Ya know? But I'm going to try, I think. I'm honestly not sure what I'm going to do.

 

[EnochRoot43]

It might be too old of a case to find here, and this doesn't show all counties...

https://mycase.in.gov/default.aspx

I think the DOC website may have offender information as well. Try searching within IN.gov: Home

 

[RachelMarie]

It might be too old of a case to find here, and this doesn't show all counties...

https://mycase.in.gov/default.aspx

I think the DOC website may have offender information as well. Try searching within IN.gov: Home

WOW. His son not found...My elderly neighbor was found though, for battery!!?? Back in 90'.

 

[alexanjl12]

I don't know if I can hide the look of complete fear. Because that's what I feel. Ya know? But I'm going to try, I think. I'm honestly not sure what I'm going to do.

You should never hide what you're feeling. I think a straight up conversation about how you feel about the situation with your friend is a good place to start. I know its his son, but he would also understand how it scary it would be from your side especially since your daughter also enjoys spending time over there. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this, as this is not a good situation for all parties involved. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

 

[RachelMarie]

WOW. His son not found...My elderly neighbor was found though, for battery!!?? Back in 90'.

My bad, it was dismissed.

You should never hide what you're feeling. I think a straight up conversation about how you feel about the situation with your friend is a good place to start. I know its his son, but he would also understand how it scary it would be from your side especially since your daughter also enjoys spending time over there. I'm sorry that you have to deal with this, as this is not a good situation for all parties involved. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Thanks for the prayers. I'll seriously consider talking to him.

 

[EnochRoot43]

Its pretty surprising what secrets some people hold. I think it also makes a case for looking past peoples faults. Or maybe I am just biased, because a minor transgression in my own past can be found on that site.

I used to know a guy who eventually spent several years in prison for a robbery and burglary that he committed at age 18, and I bumped into his at Southport Meijer a few months back. He was married with a toddler and a new baby, and had a skilled trade job and was rebuilding his life. I think some people can get the con life behind them, and really desire to do so.

 

[RachelMarie]

And also, if I recall...he was sent to an out of state prison? I can't remember which state. I'll look more into it as he gets mail all the time from him. I never really considered looking at the address though. I think it's Penn.

I think he was sent to that prison beause that's where he was on parole at??