Today's You Can't Make This Sh*t Up News

[rob63]

LA truck driver with two PENISES

'The sex was great and women were hooked - but I got one chopped off to feel normal'​

I have two penises and use both for sex - women are addicted

A Los Angeles trucker has revealed his unusual condition that endowed him with two penises, a very rare occurrence that he says has mesmermized some conquests while alienating others.

www.dailymail.co.uk

Hmmm.... "sex was great and women were hooked."

He may be somewhat disappointed to find out that being normal isn't anything like that.

 

[MCgrease08]

I don't recommend an image search.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

Hmmm.... "sex was great and women were hooked."

He may be somewhat disappointed to find out that being normal isn't anything like that.

Speak for yourself! I have to fight them off!

 

[fullmetaljesus]

Boy, 5, high on COCAINE fatally shoots his 16-month-old brother who was high on marijuana inside Indiana home: Parents are charged with neglect

Indiana boy, 5, high on COCAINE when he shot toddler brother in head

The boy, who has not been named, shot his little brother, Isiah Johnson,(left) 16 months, in March, at the family's home in Lafayette, Indiana.

www.dailymail.co.uk

Jesus that description was a wild ride.
Only thing that would be better would be if the dad was boss hogset

 

[JCSR]

Not One 8th Grade Student at the Lebron James Akron School Has Passed a State Math Test in 3 Years​

Promises kept? Akron school board questions I Promise School's poor test scores

At a meeting Monday, the Akron school board heard a presentation of the I Promise School's academics. One board member's reaction: "Disappointed."

news.yahoo.com

 

[DoggyDaddy]

Not One 8th Grade Student at the Lebron James Akron School Has Passed a State Math Test in 3 Years​

Promises kept? Akron school board questions I Promise School's poor test scores

At a meeting Monday, the Akron school board heard a presentation of the I Promise School's academics. One board member's reaction: "Disappointed."

news.yahoo.com

But can they shoot hoops? That's the main thing, right?

 

[JCSR]

But can they shoot hoops? That's the main thing, right?

I think it has been recently proven that hoops causes cardiac arrest. Stay dumb or die young are the choices.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

I think it has been recently proven that hoops causes cardiac arrest. Stay dumb or die young are the choices.

I'm just going to continue to be smart, old, and not shooting hoops. That ought to keep me safe from the covid shots I got.

 

[Hoosierdood]

I'm just going to continue to be smart, old, and not shooting hoops. That ought to keep me safe from the covid shots I got.

I'm 5'8". I have no choice but to be smart.

 

[Sigblitz]

I don't recommend an image search.

View attachment 289783

Are you looking at members?

 

[rob63]

To be fair, and to be a Denny, according to the article the school is an intervention for the lowest performing students in the district so it is not really surprising that they don't do well. It is well known in education circles that if you want to raise your test scores the best place to focus your energies is on the already highest scoring students, because they are far more likely to actually improve than the lowest scoring students.

None of which is meant to excuse any of it, I'm sure the school is spending a bunch of money without delivering anything, but it is the expected result. The surprising part is that people keep falling for the idea that you can throw money at the problem of low-performing students and get different results than all of the other previous failures. The schools aren't the actual problem in these kids lives.

 

[JCSR]

I have Crohn's disease and had to have my ANUS removed - here's what it's really like to live without a rectum

Woman with Crohn's disease shares what it's like to not 'have an anus'

Maggie Tretton, 29, from Philadelphia, had her rectum, anus, and colon removed after living in pain for years - and she now uses a bag connected to her small intestine to go to the bathroom.

www.dailymail.co.uk

 

[Cameramonkey]

Rectum? Damn near killed em!

 

[printcraft]

No ****!?

 

[printcraft]

Wow

QFT. Hurry up.

 

[Mgderf]

Joseph Robinette Biden is the President of the United States.

 

[JCSR]

Vegan raw food diet influencer Zhanna D’Art dies of starvation: report​

Vegan raw food diet influencer Zhanna D’Art dies of suspected starvation: report

Vegan influencer Zhanna Samsonova has died of starvation after reportedly subsisting exclusively off a diet of exotic fruit in Southeast Asia, according to her friends and family. She was 39 years …

nypost.com

 

[Cameramonkey]

Vegan raw food diet influencer Zhanna D’Art dies of starvation: report​

Vegan raw food diet influencer Zhanna D’Art dies of suspected starvation: report

Vegan influencer Zhanna Samsonova has died of starvation after reportedly subsisting exclusively off a diet of exotic fruit in Southeast Asia, according to her friends and family. She was 39 years …

nypost.com

Well THAT obviously didnt work out for her...

 

[printcraft]

Vegan raw food diet influencer Zhanna D’Art dies of starvation: report​

Vegan raw food diet influencer Zhanna D’Art dies of suspected starvation: report

Vegan influencer Zhanna Samsonova has died of starvation after reportedly subsisting exclusively off a diet of exotic fruit in Southeast Asia, according to her friends and family. She was 39 years …

nypost.com

That's a cute skeleton.

 

[JCSR]

Picking your nose raises your risk of catching COVID, study suggests​

Picking your nose raises your risk of catching COVID, study suggests

People who picked their nose daily or weekly were at highest risk of a Covid infection, the study from the Netherlands found. One in five nose pickers tested positive during the study.

www.dailymail.co.uk