The wussification of American culture

[Bapak2ja]

This is a timely thread for me. My step grandson has been diagnosed with ADHD, and he is definitely a handful. Some of his behavior just irritates me to no end, but when I stop and think about it, some of it is really just a boy being a boy (breaking stuff, climbing on things he shouldn't be climbing on, etc.). A lot of it is the same kinda stuff I did as a kid, and probably irritated my dad (and Mom to some extent). However, one of his traits is just being mean to other kids. I mean scuffling with other boys is "normal" I think, but he has taken to picking on little girls too, which to me is completely unacceptable. I didn't do it. I was taught to respect girls (and women) and never ever would have thought about doing anything like he does.

Just this past weekend, at a family reunion in a public park (I wasn't there but DoggyMama was), he apparently pushed a little girl down and took one of her shoes. Needless to say, he got in trouble. DoggyMama had him apologize to the little girl, and when they got home he was sent directly to his bedroom here at our house. After a few minutes, he came out whining and crying because he said he had "cut" his finger. He said something in the couch "poked him". I didn't even see a mark, but you'd have thought he had lost a limb. I told DoggyMama (in front of him so he could hear it clearly) that "little boys that pick on little girls aren't really boys - they're just whiny little girls (didn't want to use the "P" word)". I'm sure there are folks that think ridiculing him like that is inappropriate, but I really don't care. That's something I will not tolerate and it's obvious that he's not being taught to respect girls at home. I don't think he's taught to respect much of anything, truth be told.

When he and his sister (a major whine-monster) come and spend a couple of days with us, they're totally out of control when they get here. They start getting better towards the end of their stay, because we demand it - doing what they're told, when they're told, with no back talk, please and thank you, etc.. By the time they go back home, they've improved, but the next time they come back we're back to square one. Their father doesn't seem to want to break them of these habits. Other than a stern "don't do that" with no followup or consequences when they misbehave again, he doesn't really do anything. These kids are going to have major problems when they get older I fear.

It is sort of like the pit bull argument. Owners say it is all about how they are trained. Teach a kid to whine by always giving the kid what is desired just to shut them up and they learn to whine until they get what they want. We reinforce it by continuing to do it.

My second grandson does this with his mom. When he came to my house one day I told him he was at my house and he was not going to do that here. He said "Okay." and did not repeat it until his mother came to get him.

When mom arrived he started it again. I picked him up (he is five years old) and held him at eye level - we were eyeball to eyeball - and told him he was still at my house and he was not going to do that here. I put him down and he immediately went to do what mom had told him to do without any complaint. Mom was impressed. I told her it would work for a little while, but eventually he would challenge me on it. Unless she stopped it at home it would continue.

When the kid got home he started in immediately with the whining. She told him he could not do it at grandpa's house so she was not going to have it at home. The kid was shocked, I later learned, but his behavior has changed.

The kids just need to be taught how to behave properly.

 

[nakinate]

Most of the millenials I know are hardworking, productive adults. Millenials have a perception problem, but it's likely from people stereotyping everyone based off of a few.

 

[DoggyDaddy]

It is sort of like the pit bull argument. Owners say it is all about how they are trained. Teach a kid to whine by always giving the kid what is desired just to shut them up and they learn to whine until they get what they want. We reinforce it by continuing to do it.

My second grandson does this with his mom. When he came to my house one day I told him he was at my house and he was not going to do that here. He said "Okay." and did not repeat it until his mother came to get him.

When mom arrived he started it again. I picked him up (he is five years old) and held him at eye level - we were eyeball to eyeball - and told him he was still at my house and he was not going to do that here. I put him down and he immediately went to do what mom had told him to do without any complaint. Mom was impressed. I told her it would work for a little while, but eventually he would challenge me on it. Unless she stopped it at home it would continue.

When the kid got home he started in immediately with the whining. She told him he could not do it at grandpa's house so she was not going to have it at home. The kid was shocked, I later learned, but his behavior has changed.

The kids just need to be taught how to behave properly.

That's been our approach as well. Unfortunately, the father (mother is absent - drug addict) doesn't continue it when he takes them home, so we're constantly retraining them. It's frustrating to say the least.

 

[jamil]

Most of the millenials I know are hardworking, productive adults. Millenials have a perception problem, but it's likely from people stereotyping everyone based off of a few.

This. Not all boomers were pot smoking hippies. Not all millennials are narcicistic pussies.

 

[KLB]

This. Not all boomers were pot smoking hippies. Not all millennials are narcicistic pussies.

What does that make Gen-X?

 

[historian]

This. Not all boomers were pot smoking hippies. Not all millennials are narcicistic pussies.

I will say, as a millennial, that my generation is stupid. They think with their heart, not with their head. Logic is not applied, consequences are lost. I mean, we have colleges now telling kids that if you sleep with someone when you were drunk, and if you can't remember consenting, then you were raped. We don't tell college kids to not drink, or avoid getting drunk, we tell them that there are no consequences for you if you drink. I personally blame the "greatest" generation as well as the boomers for creating this mess. There are really good ones out there, but there is no personal responsibility anymore. It drives me nuts to see how many of people my age go on Medicaid and WIC, "Because we can." It makes me mad.

 

[historian]

What does that make Gen-X?

They exist?

 

[churchmouse]

I did my job. My son's no **55y. He's a couple quarters away from a ME degree, but he's also the most manly man I know. We allowed him to fail. He learned to hate failure and strive for excellence. One of my favorite quotes is his, "There's no disgrace in losing, only failing to try." I believe he said it when BNL lost to Center Grove after winning their first ever sectional in 37 years of trying back in 2011. He and his team mates left it all on the field. They were soundly beaten. But, they were the first BNL football team to ever make it that far. They were disappointed, not satisfied, but definitely not disgraced. They left the field bloody and on the short end of the score, but men with their heads up. They carry that lesson now in their lives, their university careers, their jobs, their families. All of that started in church and in parents that hated lies and rewarded effort. Failure to try was never an option. Work was always a good thing.

No attendance trophy's. Strive to succeed and in that you learn to survive.

 

[churchmouse]

This. Not all boomers were pot smoking hippies. Not all millennials are narcicistic pussies.

Truth. I am a boomer...................

 

[spencer rifle]

Personally, I'd probably not say that on an open forum.

Really? A foreigner who sticks out like a sore thumb, and who is always getting pictures taken of her by strangers on the subway, and blogs about her experiences, and the Chinese gov doesn't know what she's up to?

 

[451_Detonics]

Truth. I am a boomer...................

I am a boomer too but there were days when recreational pharmaceuticals might have been involved

 

[Kutnupe14]

What does that make Gen-X?

Awesomesauce

 

[Rarejewell]

I remember growing up with the following answers heard often:
Because I so.
Because I am the adult and you are the child.
I do not think that you always have to give an explanation to children. In some cases I think it is a good thing but sometimes not being able to do something because I said you can't is good enough.

I am a new bonus mom, and I am coming into this with no children of my own. Luckily my husband has patience with me and my lack of parenting skills (though I am working on gaining them). But we both think that chores (even at 5 years old) are important, and we eat without the TV on, or faces buried in cell phones. We have discussed house rules and the rules are the rules at our house and what kids do at their other house (not making bed, cleaning rooms, chores, please/thank-you, etc) do not fly at our house. Luckily my bonus daughter (5 almost 6) loves me and is a pretty good kid. The boys are young and we are working with them on a lot of things. They have learned that if I say no to something, they do NOT go ask their dad. They tried that a few times and it got shot down rather quickly as he backs what I say and I back what he says.

I do worry about them growing up in a society where they can't get dirty, rough-house, have to have antibacterial wipes all the time, and such. They will/are learning to wait for things, and work for something that they want. Chores=allowance, allowance=buying things that you want.

I am a Gen-X'er, and never wanted to be a mom. Luckily I am not a mom, I am a BONUS mom, who is all in and is doing her best to help raise good, non-whiney members of society who will know that you have to work for things that you want. Even if that means you get them later in life. Hence working on my Master's Degree/Certification at almost 40 and being out of college for almost 17 years.

I think we live in a society where many people want what they want, want it now, and expect someone else to get it or do it for them. We need to work on more personal responsibility and getting rid of the notion that everyone is "owed" something because they showed up or because they exist.

 

[churchmouse]

I am a boomer too but there were days when recreational pharmaceuticals might have been involved

Nnnnnnnnnnnnoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo......say it ain't so.

Had the hair and the uniform. Spent way to many hours behind a bass guitar or a drum kit.
Flash backs are a major part of the memory stream from those days.

 

[451_Detonics]

My Dad had a simple parenting paradigm, if it hurts then the kid will only do it once. If I was headed for a wall socket with a bobby pin my Dad would say "he'll only do it once and that is why we have circuit breakers".

 

[2ADMNLOVER]

In short , how we got here is we were too busy working and living to notice the ****ing libtards were taking over .

WARNING : A healthy dose of the truth mixed with NSFW prose .

https://youtu.be/KZQTGeE8um0

Get some liberal ****tards !!!!!!!! WOLVERINES !!!!!!!!

 

[jamil]

What does that make Gen-X?

Not all gen x'ers are neck deep in debt.

 

[HoughMade]

Awesomesauce

I can't find a reason to criticize this assessment.

 

[nakinate]

I will say, as a millennial, that my generation is stupid. They think with their heart, not with their head. Logic is not applied, consequences are lost. I mean, we have colleges now telling kids that if you sleep with someone when you were drunk, and if you can't remember consenting, then you were raped. We don't tell college kids to not drink, or avoid getting drunk, we tell them that there are no consequences for you if you drink. I personally blame the "greatest" generation as well as the boomers for creating this mess. There are really good ones out there, but there is no personal responsibility anymore. It drives me nuts to see how many of people my age go on Medicaid and WIC, "Because we can." It makes me mad.

Just about out all of your first 3 sentences could be applied to most generations when they were this young.

 

[eldirector]

The Marlboro man rode over the hill into the sunset a long time ago. Seems like he had about 50% of the male populations packages with him when he left.

I met the Marlboro man! He sold us a used car up at 96th and Keystone several (many) years ago. He did a stint as "the Man" for many years, and had posters and stuff all over his little office. Kinda cool. Kinda sad.