I lost my wife 12/19/11. I know I'm not the only one that has gone throught this but I feel like I am. I don't want to go throught the details of the circumstances of what happened but it was very suden. I thought I might reach out to anyone that has gone throught this. I met my wife when I was 16. I am now 51. I don't know if I can reply to anyone that may reply but I do appriciate any words of comfort.
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Not lookin for sympathy only to vent
- Thread starter MikeBear
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Mike,
I won't pretend and try to tell you I know how you feel, cause that would be a lie. My wife is my best friend and I couldn't imagine life without her. I will tell you that I will pray for you though. I will pray that God will send His Holy Spirit to fill in the gap in your heart that has been left behind, because He's the only one who can fill that gap.
Blessings & prayers to you friend.
Philippians 4:5-9 "Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me-put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."
I won't pretend and try to tell you I know how you feel, cause that would be a lie. My wife is my best friend and I couldn't imagine life without her. I will tell you that I will pray for you though. I will pray that God will send His Holy Spirit to fill in the gap in your heart that has been left behind, because He's the only one who can fill that gap.
Blessings & prayers to you friend.
Philippians 4:5-9 "Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy-think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me-put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you."
My wife died suddenly as well (an accident) at the end of 1999, 12/23, in fact. We're not so far apart. I know how it is. We weren't getting along that well at the time, but that was too much. We're here for ya, man.
Mike, I couldn't even imagine what you've been going through the last couple of months and won't even try to say that I have...I've only lost close friends and distant relatives since I've been old enough to grasp what death actually is (my "Grammy" died when I was 6 and I was very close to her).
My heart goes out to you though...You will be in my prayers tonight.
Stay strong my friend.
My heart goes out to you though...You will be in my prayers tonight.
Stay strong my friend.
I know some of the pain you feel. I know it will be a part of you from now on. It will subside. Truly, it will get better. We are all everything we have ever been or done in this life. Loss is sadly, a part of it. There are folks on here praying for you and sending positive thoughts. You will be in our prayers.
Be well
TP
Be well
TP
Mike, as many others have said, we want to be there for you. Do not let anyone talk you out of going through the stages of your grief. It will always be with you, even as you progress, but some of the pain will go away. Grief is not one size fits all, each person has different burdens to work through. Do not hesitate to make periods of diversions through activites with other people,loneliness and alcohol are dangerous. I am available if you would like to contact me. I did my Masters work in Biblical Pyschology and counseling before I was ordained.
Leo says great wisdom. Every grieving person must experience each stage of grief in order to get through it. I have a very good friend who specializes in grief counseling. She is well-trained and highly experienced. She's been doing it fulltime for many years. She is incredible and will talk with anyone, anywhere, anytime. PM me if you want her contact info.
Mike,
It is tough when someone close to you passes away. When it is sudden and unexpected it sure seems to be a lot worse. Hang in there. You are a good man and you can get through this, but it won't be easy to do so. Those who are close to us are never really gone. They are there in our heart and soul always.
It is tough when someone close to you passes away. When it is sudden and unexpected it sure seems to be a lot worse. Hang in there. You are a good man and you can get through this, but it won't be easy to do so. Those who are close to us are never really gone. They are there in our heart and soul always.
Bunnykid68
Grandmaster
I am sure you will be in a lot of our thoughts. Best of luck to you my friend.
Thoughts & Prayers for You and Her 
I cannot imagine the pain and heartache that you must feel and will not pretend to do so. Remember tomorrow is for the bold and the brave. Mourn but one has to move on and live life to the fullest for we never know when it is our turn to face the great unknown
.
I cannot imagine the pain and heartache that you must feel and will not pretend to do so. Remember tomorrow is for the bold and the brave. Mourn but one has to move on and live life to the fullest for we never know when it is our turn to face the great unknown
.
My prayers. I would suggest that you don't try to go through the grieving process alone. Do you have a pastor you can talk to? If not, I would suggest getting counseling from somewhere. My wife and I have been married for a very long time and we met in high school. It would be a sad, long and lonely road to travel without her by my side.
Annie Oakley
Sharpshooter
I lost a husband in 1995 who had been my high school sweetheart and the love of my life after a year long fight with cancer. We had both just turned 43.
Grieve in whatever way and forever long you need to. When people tell you that you should be "over it" they don't know what they are talking about and don't let them make you feel like you are doing something wrong.
You do however need to find reasons for getting up each day and make yourself do things that you once enjoyed. There may not be much enjoyment for you at first but it will come.
Time is your friend and your enemy....it heals but it can take a long while for that to happen. You will always have the scars and for a time they will be scabs that get torn off, sometimes when you least expect it. It sucks.
It all will get better little by little although at this point I know that seems like an impossibility. People will try to help you and that is wonderful but my experience was that it is something that you pretty much do on your own. The people who you can talk to, who are willing to just listen, let you cry or rant......those folks are priceless.
My thoughts are with you and am sending you all the strength that I can. Take care of yourself.
Grieve in whatever way and forever long you need to. When people tell you that you should be "over it" they don't know what they are talking about and don't let them make you feel like you are doing something wrong.
You do however need to find reasons for getting up each day and make yourself do things that you once enjoyed. There may not be much enjoyment for you at first but it will come.
Time is your friend and your enemy....it heals but it can take a long while for that to happen. You will always have the scars and for a time they will be scabs that get torn off, sometimes when you least expect it. It sucks.
It all will get better little by little although at this point I know that seems like an impossibility. People will try to help you and that is wonderful but my experience was that it is something that you pretty much do on your own. The people who you can talk to, who are willing to just listen, let you cry or rant......those folks are priceless.
My thoughts are with you and am sending you all the strength that I can. Take care of yourself.
MikeBear you have my true sympathies. Unfortunately I know exactly what you are going through. I too lost my wife just before Christmas 10 years ago, and to this day I haven't truly gotten over it, but know that I must continue because I have others that care for me, and I care for them.
I don't know your circumstances, but I was faced with raising a daughter who had just become a teenager, and honestly if it wasn't for her it would have been even harder, but just seeing our "little girl" suddenly without a mother really tugged at everything I believed in.
And somehow I continue to go on. Mike, there will be times when you see something as you drive home to work, and know that she would like to hear about it, and then realize that it will never be. And you will cry a little, or a lot, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Everybody deals with the passing of a spouse, a true soul mate differently, and sometimes you just don't ever get over it. And there is nothing wrong with that as long as you realize that there are people who care for you, and whether they know how to show it or not, they are there, and you MUST go on. Your wife most likely would not have wanted it any other way. If for no one else but her memory you must go on and do your best to enjoy life, no matter how difficult it really is.
To this day, my daughter and I hate Christmas for what it has become. For us there is only the celebration of the birth of Christ, because at the same time we mourn the loss of a loved one. We don't exchange gifts, other than the "I love you" and let others know that although we recognize the day for what it is, we have a hard time doing any more.
And we both are ok with that, and if others disagree, that is their problem not ours.
You too might look at Christmas in the future as the time you lost your wife, and there is no denying the truth in that, and if you can't celebrate like the news media makes it, then do like my daughter and myself, and just thank the lord for the time you did have with your wife, and the prayer that she is at the peace we try to believe in that we receive after passing.
My best to you, and if you need a person to talk to, please feel free to PM at any time.
I don't know your circumstances, but I was faced with raising a daughter who had just become a teenager, and honestly if it wasn't for her it would have been even harder, but just seeing our "little girl" suddenly without a mother really tugged at everything I believed in.
And somehow I continue to go on. Mike, there will be times when you see something as you drive home to work, and know that she would like to hear about it, and then realize that it will never be. And you will cry a little, or a lot, and there is nothing wrong with that.
Everybody deals with the passing of a spouse, a true soul mate differently, and sometimes you just don't ever get over it. And there is nothing wrong with that as long as you realize that there are people who care for you, and whether they know how to show it or not, they are there, and you MUST go on. Your wife most likely would not have wanted it any other way. If for no one else but her memory you must go on and do your best to enjoy life, no matter how difficult it really is.
To this day, my daughter and I hate Christmas for what it has become. For us there is only the celebration of the birth of Christ, because at the same time we mourn the loss of a loved one. We don't exchange gifts, other than the "I love you" and let others know that although we recognize the day for what it is, we have a hard time doing any more.
And we both are ok with that, and if others disagree, that is their problem not ours.
You too might look at Christmas in the future as the time you lost your wife, and there is no denying the truth in that, and if you can't celebrate like the news media makes it, then do like my daughter and myself, and just thank the lord for the time you did have with your wife, and the prayer that she is at the peace we try to believe in that we receive after passing.
My best to you, and if you need a person to talk to, please feel free to PM at any time.
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