My Mom is in the hospital prayers please and Telling a parent that its time to quit driving..??

[tmschuller]

Hey all, first off prayer's appreciated for my mom. She is 93 and was found unresponsive last week in her vehicle. She drove from Montpelier to Muncie to get 2 cortisone shots in her back. Yes she is independent.. so on the way thru Hartford she pulls over to the bank to take care of some business, my sister is with her but sis is special needs and does not do well with situations but she found mom passed out and goes in calmly and gets help.
Mom is taken via ambulance to the ER and sent to IU-Ball in Muncie. She was doing well and became un responsive again, pretty much do to the fact she was give hydrocodone and Percocet which she is allergic to. Out for 2 days and we were finally able to get her to respond and finally eat yesterday.
We in the family feel blessed that passed out while setting and that she woke up and was able to eat answer some questions. Her vitals are strong, no stroke or a UTI, heart, kidneys and liver all doing there job and well for a 93 year old.
So after that long intro.. need to pull the keys just do to the fact her mindset and reaction time has suffered and its just a matter of time before something else bad happens. I know its hard on her and wondered how many fellow INGOer's have went down this path?? And any advice.. Thank, Tim

 

[BE Mike]

Prayers for your mom and for you! Before my father lost his mental sharpness he decided to go to a senior home. He also realized, on his own, that it was time to sell his vehicle. When his condition started to rapidly deteriorate, he was situated in the best place for him. If your mom won't accept that she has physical problems that make her a danger to herself and others, you definitely have a problem. She needs a family intervention to convince her she needs to, at the least, quit driving. To still be somewhat independent, she needs reliable transportation. Living in a retirement community makes things easier as they provide it. Otherwise, she may need training on how to get a cab or Uber, etc. Good luck!

 

[Ingomike]

Are you 100% sure this must be done now? Did the doctors say she had conditions or medications that would keep her from driving?

If not what signs are you seeing that necessitates this?

Typical signs are confusion of routes, getting lost, dealing with traffic signals. Getting traffic tickets or warnings, damage on their vehicle from fender benders or bumper bumps.

Can you just keep her more local so she can still get out but not go to Muncie?

Tough spot for sure…

 

[TheGrumpyGuy]

Prayers inbound

 

[GodFearinGunTotin]

Watching parents get old is a tough stage of life. Prayers for you, your mom, and family. I never had to do this. Mom never drove and dad died suddenly. My wife's mom though, she had to have that talk. She was able to live independently for quite a few more years after giving up the car keys. (She resisted this a fair bit). An elderly lady at church (now passed on) gave up her keys at about your mom's age but lived in her home until she was over 100. Giving up the keys doesn't have to mean the end is near. Their attitude definitely affects the process. My wife's mom, at times, made it hard on my wife when she couldn't just jump in the car and drive when she wanted to.

 

[BE Mike]

Are you 100% sure this must be done now? Did the doctors say she had conditions or medications that would keep her from driving?

If not what signs are you seeing that necessitates this?

Typical signs are confusion of routes, getting lost, dealing with traffic signals. Getting traffic tickets or warnings, damage on their vehicle from fender benders or bumper bumps.

Can you just keep her more local so she can still get out but not go to Muncie?

Tough spot for sure…

She was found unresponsive behind the wheel of her car.

 

[Ingomike]

pretty much do to the fact she was give hydrocodone and Percocet which she is allergic to.

She was found unresponsive behind the wheel of her car.

After she received medications she was allergic to. That could happen to me or you and has nothing to do with her age and if she is capable of driving or not. I thought no one is allowed to drive on hydrocodone…

 

[BE Mike]

After she received medications she was allergic to. That could happen to me or you and has nothing to do with her age and if she is capable of driving or not. I thought no one is allowed to drive on hydrocodone…

She hadn't been given the medications that she was allergic to until after she was found unresponsive behind the wheel and taken to the hospital for treatment, if I am reading the OP's initial post correctly.

 

[model1994]

best wishes on recovery.

i have had the talk with a family friend. he didn’t take it well, being a stubborn old redneck and all, but also understood and agreed. once you reach gas pump number age (85,87,89,93 lol), you’re probably not going to be driving and it’s reasonable that assistance is needed. just make sure that she won’t worry or feel like something will be neglected when she can’t drive - assure things will get done still.

 

[Cameramonkey]

Prayers inbound for everyone involved. Prayers for strength and wisdom, as well as recovery and acceptance.

 

[WebSnyper]

Hey all, first off prayer's appreciated for my mom. She is 93 and was found unresponsive last week in her vehicle. She drove from Montpelier to Muncie to get 2 cortisone shots in her back. Yes she is independent.. so on the way thru Hartford she pulls over to the bank to take care of some business, my sister is with her but sis is special needs and does not do well with situations but she found mom passed out and goes in calmly and gets help.
Mom is taken via ambulance to the ER and sent to IU-Ball in Muncie. She was doing well and became un responsive again, pretty much do to the fact she was give hydrocodone and Percocet which she is allergic to. Out for 2 days and we were finally able to get her to respond and finally eat yesterday.
We in the family feel blessed that passed out while setting and that she woke up and was able to eat answer some questions. Her vitals are strong, no stroke or a UTI, heart, kidneys and liver all doing there job and well for a 93 year old.
So after that long intro.. need to pull the keys just do to the fact her mindset and reaction time has suffered and its just a matter of time before something else bad happens. I know its hard on her and wondered how many fellow INGOer's have went down this path?? And any advice.. Thank, Tim

I'm surprised that the Dr doing the back shots didn't advise she had to have a driver for after the procedure. I've had one done and they told me then, and I have another (other side) scheduled soon and they advised for that one that I'd also need a driver.

In any case, it's probably best when you do have the discussion to bring it forward with solutions on how she can get around, get to Dr appointments, etc, and that any added cost for her to get around will be offset by not having to pay for auto insurance, etc. Make it a discussion with solutions being offered that she will have some ability to weigh in on the options (not decision to be able to drive or not, but decisions she can help with on how she can get around).

 

[Sigblitz]

Preyers for your mom.

My wife needs a ride home when she gets those shots in her back. Did this happen after the shot?

 

[indyartisan]

Mom will be 90 next month,
still has her car but never drives it.
The insurance is high with little chance of ever having a claim but it makes her feel good knowing it is there.

 

[wcd]

Thoughts and prayers for you and yours.

 

[DragonGunner]

Well mine is 96 and still drives. We try and get her to just drive local then she thinks she has to drive 50 miles and go all over Ft. Wayne, falls in parking lot and can’t get up until someone sees and helps her. Swears that’s it won’t do anymore and couple days later out running all over again. Falls all the time and bloody up her face and glasses going places she never been before. There’s no stopping her, once they get to that age they are just like 5 year olds. If we took her keys she would probably call the cops. I just hope when she goes she doesn’t take anyone else with her.

 

[awames76]

i was fortunate with mom that she made that decision so i did not have to but go to the bmv and u can get a request for a driving test at the next license renewal. is this situation that is a little to far away. its hard for them to loose the independence.

when my grandma was still driving and should not have, her car was "broken" fuse was pulled so she could not use it.

 

[Ark]

Hey all, first off prayer's appreciated for my mom. She is 93 and was found unresponsive last week in her vehicle. She drove from Montpelier to Muncie to get 2 cortisone shots in her back. Yes she is independent.. so on the way thru Hartford she pulls over to the bank to take care of some business, my sister is with her but sis is special needs and does not do well with situations but she found mom passed out and goes in calmly and gets help.
Mom is taken via ambulance to the ER and sent to IU-Ball in Muncie. She was doing well and became un responsive again, pretty much do to the fact she was give hydrocodone and Percocet which she is allergic to. Out for 2 days and we were finally able to get her to respond and finally eat yesterday.
We in the family feel blessed that passed out while setting and that she woke up and was able to eat answer some questions. Her vitals are strong, no stroke or a UTI, heart, kidneys and liver all doing there job and well for a 93 year old.
So after that long intro.. need to pull the keys just do to the fact her mindset and reaction time has suffered and its just a matter of time before something else bad happens. I know its hard on her and wondered how many fellow INGOer's have went down this path?? And any advice.. Thank, Tim

She fell asleep in a parked car and they went straight to hydrocodone and percs? She complaining about heavy duty pain or something?

I'm not a doctor but I'm not seeing the obvious link for administering those.

 

[bigretic]

Going through right now with dad - will be 90 next month. He has been losing motor ability in his leg/s because of bone cancer. Took of the mirror on the post office mail box, then a few months later ran into the mail truck while he was going around the corner. He realized it's time to stop. I brought it up and he said, he shouldn't be driving anymore, he doesn't want to hurt anyone. So i guess i got off easy. Wife is using his car to take him to treatments, and he is selling it to my son. It's definitely making it tough on us, no lie; but you do what you have to.

 

[wtburnette]

prayers sent

 

[BE Mike]

Every individual is different and has different capabilities and disabilities. It bothers me to see so many people put numbers out there where they think an individual isn't capable of doing anything. On the other hand, it is amusing to see the shock on some younger people's faces when an oldster out-performs them in one way or another.