INGO: Joke of the day page

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  • actaeon277

    Grandmaster
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    4   0   0
    Nov 20, 2011
    93,258
    113
    Merrillville
    138660043_3972833146082319_7258017352870693818_o.jpg
     

    Chewie

    Old, Tired, Grumpy, Skeptical
    Site Supporter
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    6   0   0
    Dec 28, 2012
    2,347
    113
    Martinsville
    Woman was begging her husband to let her get a breast enlargement for 5k. He finally told her to save her money and just rub toilet paper between her breast. She replied: why would I do that? He replied: worked on your ass.

    Followed very quickly by the e.r. trying to stabilize him for reconstructive surgery.
     

    fullauto 45

    Master
    Rating - 100%
    31   0   1
    Dec 27, 2008
    1,603
    48
    SE Indy
    The two old whores from England were sitting at the bar, just snockered, when the man with the mustache walks in scratching his ass.
    The whore looks at man with the mustache and says, "What's wrong with you today?" The man with the mustache looks at the whore and said, "Well, I had to call the cops on two women that were fighting over me."
    One of the old whores said, "Why'd you do that?"
    The man with the mustache said, "Cause the ugly one was winning!
     

    fullauto 45

    Master
    Rating - 100%
    31   0   1
    Dec 27, 2008
    1,603
    48
    SE Indy
    The two old whores from England were sitting at the bar just snockered, when the man with the mustache walks in scratching his ass. The whore looks at man with the mustache and says, "What's wrong with you today?" The man with the mustache looks at the whores and said, "Well, we just found out that my grandfather is addicted to Viagra, no one is taking it harder than my grandmother."
     

    Horsetrader

    Plinker
    Rating - 100%
    1   0   0
    Jan 24, 2021
    56
    8
    Northern indiana
    Obama wants to alter the flag !!

    The government today announced that it is changing the national flag to a Condom because it more accurately reflects the governments political stance.

    A Condom allows for inflation, halts production, destroys the next generation, protects a bunch of pricks, and gives you a sense of security while you are actually being screwed.
     

    Magyars

    Grandmaster
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    39   0   0
    Mar 6, 2010
    9,560
    113
    Delaware County Freehold
    Being a transplanted Virginian, I thought I'd share an old saying and accompanying story with my fellow Hoosiers.
    There is a saying in Va. That goes all the way back to Jamestown, circa 1625.... "It's like mule P*ssy, it's there for ya" which means, if you need to use/borrow something, go ahead and take it.
    The story goes to the time when Jamestown was having Indian troubles, they had small outpost scattered about the main settlement, usually only a half to full dozen soldiers..well this private told the sergeant he needed some female companionship...ole sarge took the private into the horse stalls..all the way in the back was an old mule, Sarge said " here ya go".....private responded by saying NO WAY!...after a few weeks the mules looking better and better.... finally the private couldnt take it anymore and has his way with the mule.
    He goes to the Sarge and says that the mule was pretty darn good..Sarge slaps the private and says "no, you idiot, your supposed to ride the mule back to Jamestown and find a women!,"
    .
    .
    .
    Naw, not really, just joking with ya all.
     

    MCgrease08

    Grandmaster
    Rating - 100%
    37   0   0
    Mar 14, 2013
    14,427
    149
    Earth
    A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

    Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

    At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

    That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parent's house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

    The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist."
     
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