INGO: Joke of the day page

[Magyars]

What's the difference between female marathon runners and african pygmies?
The africans are cunning runts, and the sprinters are running. .....
Well, you can figure it out.

 

[spencer rifle]

What's the difference between an epileptic corn farmer and a whore with diarrhea?
One shucks between fits and the other....

What's the difference between a poor marksman and a constipated owl?
One shoots but can't hit and the other....

 

[Mongo59]

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A WOMAN IN A CHURCH PEW AND A WOMAN IN A BATH TUB?

The woman in the church pew has hope in her sole

 

[Mongo59]

What is the difference between a circus and a chorus line?

A circus is an amazing array of cunning stunts...

 

[Mongo59]

A farmer's three daughters all had dates for Friday night. They were all upstairs getting ready when there is a knock at the door.

He opens the door and the young man says, "Hi, my name is Joe. I'm here for Flo, we are going to the show, is she ready to go?"

The farmer yells, "HEY FLO!" and she comes running down and off they go.

Next knock at the door is another young man who says, "Hi, my name is Freddy. I am here for Betty, we are gonna eat spaghetti, is she ready?"

The farmer yells, "HEY BETTY!" and off they go.

Finally there is a third knock at the door and the young man says, "Hi, my name is Chuck..."

The farmer yells, "No way in hell you are taking my daughter out!"

 

[actaeon277]

 

[AtTheMurph]

A farmer's three daughters all had dates for Friday night. They were all upstairs getting ready when there is a knock at the door.

He opens the door and the young man says, "Hi, my name is Joe. I'm here for Flo, we are going to the show, is she ready to go?"

The farmer yells, "HEY FLO!" and she comes running down and off they go.

Next knock at the door is another young man who says, "Hi, my name is Freddy. I am here for Betty, we are gonna eat spaghetti, is she ready?"

The farmer yells, "HEY BETTY!" and off they go.

Finally there is a third knock at the door and the young man says, "Hi, my name is Chuck..."

The farmer yells, "No way in hell you are taking my daughter out!"

What was the third daughters name?

 

[Bill of Rights]

What was the third daughters name?

Well, Chuck was probably called Chucky, but with that movie, he didn't like it.... And the daughter's nickname was "Lucky"....So Chucky was there to get Lucky....






...in more ways than one.



Blessings,
Bill

 

[Hatin Since 87]

Well, Chuck was probably called Chucky, but with that movie, he didn't like it.... And the daughter's nickname was "Lucky"....So Chucky was there to get Lucky....






...in more ways than one.



Blessings,
Bill

What if Lucky was a puppy?

 

[Bill of Rights]

What if Lucky was a puppy?

Sounds like someone screwed the pooch.

 

[actaeon277]

 

[actaeon277]

 

[JCSR]

 

[sharkey]

There's a former Prsident's in-laws joke in there, but it's the Break Room, so....

I have to pass.

 

[MRockwell]

Two elderly ladies meet at the market after not seeing each other for some

time. One asked how the other's husband was doing.



"Oh! Rodger died last week. He went out to the garden to dig up a cabbage

for dinner, had a heart attack and dropped dead right there in the vegetable

patch."



"Oh dear, I'm sorry," replied her friend, "What did you do?"



"Opened a can of peas instead."

 

[MRockwell]

There was this middle-aged couple playing golf

The wife whacked the ball in the wrong direction and the

ball went soaring into a nearby bungalow's window

The two ran to the bungalow and there they found a man

with a turban on his head, sitting next to a broken vase

They apologized for breaking the vase and the man in the

turban said "You have done me a great favor - I am a

genie and you have released me. For this you can both

have one wish each"

The wife wished to be a pro-golfer - the Genie said "In the

morning you will be better than Tiger Woods"

The husband wished for a Million dollars - the Genie said

"In the morning you will be a Million dollars richer."

The Genie then said "But, in order for the wishes to come

true, I will have to make love to your wife".

They decided (as being a pro-golfer and million dollars richer)

it was a reasonable price to pay for the wish to come true.

The Genie took the wife to the room and started the deed. But suddenly, halfway

through he stopped.

"How old is your husband", the genie asked the wife.

"46" the wife replied.

"And he still believes in Genies?"

 

[actaeon277]

 

[Cameramonkey]

A lifeguard walks up to an older gentleman reading the newspaper in a lounge chair by the pool.

Excuse me, Mr Stufferman?
The old guy peeks around the side of his newspaper and says gruffly "Yeah, whadda ya want?"

The lifeguard says "Sir, we have had several complaints about guests peeing in the pool."

The old guy says "yeah, what about it? Everybody pees in the pool."

The lifeguard responds "BUT FROM THE HIGH DIVE, MR. STUFFERMAN!?!?!?!?"

 

[actaeon277]

 

[Cameramonkey]

I call BS. Probably less than 10% of their clientele are old enough to understand that reference. LOL