INGO: Joke of the day page

[jerrob]

It's not a funny picture so I figured it'd go better here.

It's a classic that came across me feed again. Always good for a laugh.

If that woman had an intelligent thought, it'd die of loneliness.

 

[Bigtanker]

If that woman had an intelligent thought, it'd die of loneliness.

Here is her interview on the same station shortly afterwards.

 

[MRockwell]

 

[Bigtanker]

What do you get when the sunrise bends over???





The crack of dawn!

 

[daddyusmaximus]

You don't really need a parachute to go skydiving.




You need a parachute to go skydiving... twice.

 

[AndreusMaximus]

Exactly. Also, despite what you may have heard, a long fall has never killed anybody.

The same cannot be said for the sudden stop at the bottom.

 

[actaeon277]

 

[Bigtanker]

I told my wife to embrace her mistakes.......


.......she gave me a hug.

 

[actaeon277]

Bob sang so poorly that he was asked to please sing tenor.
Tenor eleven miles away.

 

[actaeon277]

 

[patience0830]

View attachment 243111

Whos on first.


Yes, it is a statement and there is no apostrophe in the plural of who.

 

[Ballstater98]

 

[actaeon277]

 

[nonobaddog]

A lady walked into a pharmacy and told the pharmacist that she needed some cyanide.
The pharmacist said, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?"
The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband.
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he said, 'I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband!
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, 'You didn't tell me you had a prescription.'

 

[nonobaddog]

A truck full of copies of Roget's Thesaurus crashed yesterday losing its entire load.
Witnesses were stunned, startled, aghast, taken aback, stupefied, confused, shocked, rattled, paralyzed, dazed, bewildered, mixed up, surprised, awed, dumbfounded, nonplussed, flabbergasted, astounded, amazed, confounded, astonished, overwhelmed, horrified, numbed, speechless, and perplexed.

 

[Ballstater98]

 

[KokomoDave]

What did one snowman say to the other snowman?
Is it me or do you always smell carrots?

 

[AndreusMaximus]

View attachment 243317

True story, my wife asked me to get her one of those smaller shopvacs for Christmas so she can use it to more easily clean out the car.

I may be the only man alive who was asked by his wife to get her a vacuum for Christmas. This is not how they told me marriage was gonna be...

 

[Bigtanker]

Breaking news:

The round table from Sir Lancelot and his knights has been found. On the bottom side of the table, they found the signature of the builder.

It was Sir Cumference.

 

[nonobaddog]

Where is the "holding your nose" emoji when you need it?