INGO: Joke of the day page

[actaeon277]

 

[actaeon277]

 

[henry0reilly]

A Christmas joke:

God was looking for a place to go on vacation, Gabriel suggested Earth. The Supreme Being shook his head and replied, “I don’t know about that, I was there over 2000 years ago, got this Jewish chick knocked up, and they’re still talking about it.”

 

[henry0reilly]

Dirty Ernie’s teacher began the new school year with a guessing game for the students. “Children, I have something in my desk drawer, it’s yellow, round and long.” Ernie has his hand high in the air but the teacher calls on Sally. “I know teacher, it’s a banana.” The teacher removes a squash, “No, Sally, it’s a summer squash, but I like the way you think. I have something in my other drawer that’s round and red and it’s also something you can eat.” Again, Ernie’s hand is the first one in the air, but the teacher calls on Billy. “I know teacher, it’s an apple!” The teacher pulls out a tomato and says, “No, Billy, it’s a tomato, but I like the way you think.” At this point Ernie stands up, jams his hands in his pockets and says, “I knew both of them teacher, can you guess what I’ve got ahold of? It’s round, smooth, and it has a head on it?” “ERNIE ! ! You march yourself down to the principal’s office right this INSTANT! “ Ernie says, “Why teacher, it ‘as on’y a nickel, but I like the way you think!”

 

[smokingman]

man gives $25,000 each to his doc, priest, and lawyer
says toss the money in his grave when he dies

he dies, at burial each one throws a large envelope into grave

as they walk away priest says --- I sinned, church roof was leaking, cost 5k to fix it; my envelope only contained 20.

doc says --- my wife caught me banging my nurse; divorce was costly, my envelope only contained 15.

lawyer says --- I am ashamed for you guys; my envelope contained my personal check for the entire 25

 

[Bugzilla]

VERY VERY SAD DAY. A good friend of mine, after 6 yrs of medical school and training has been fired for ONE minor indiscretion. He slept with one of his patients and can no longer work in the profession. What a waste of time, effort, training and money! Dudes still paying on school loans. Just goes to show u only ONE mistake can ruin your life. Please pray for him and his family. He is a really great guy and one of the best veterinarians I know.

 

[spencer rifle]

I love that theme park so much, and it holds so many fond memories for me, that when I die, I want my remains scattered over Disney World.

And I don't want to be cremated.

 

[patience0830]

I love that theme park so much, and it holds so many fond memories for me, that when I die, I want my remains scattered over Disney World.

And I don't want to be cremated.

Through the wood chipper?

 

[Ingomike]

Through the wood chipper?

We learned of that option right here on INGO…

 

[Bigtanker]

 

[Ballstater98]

Here's a joke for all the mind readers out there...

 

[Bigtanker]

Here's a joke for all the mind readers out there...

I should ban you for that

 

[jerrob]

I should ban you for that

............said the dad-joke factory

 

[Doug]

I should ban you for that

Why? I really enjoyed the joke. His mind is really funny, although it is messy.

 

[Bigtanker]

............said the dad-joke factory

Hey...... they're clean.

And remember, nowhere in the title is the word funny.

 

[AndreusMaximus]

I'm still waiting on the next long one...

 

[Bigtanker]

I'm still waiting on the next long one...

That's what she said.....

 

[Bigtanker]

I'm still waiting on the next long one...

Here's a really long one.

Ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnmmnmmnnnnnnnnmnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

 

[actaeon277]

And remember, nowhere in the title is the word funny.

Good thing

 

[Bigtanker]

It's not a funny picture so I figured it'd go better here.

It's a classic that came across me feed again. Always good for a laugh.