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Be sure to read this post! Beware of scammers. https://www.indianagunowners.com/threads/classifieds-new-online-payment-guidelines-rules-paypal-venmo-zelle-etc.511734/
INGO: Joke of the day page
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A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman. He grew up big, 6′ 2”, strong as a longhorn, and fast as a mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces.
When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only dreamed of working: the West Texas Sheriff’s Department. After a series of tests and interviews, the Chief Deputy finally called him into his office for the young man’s last interview.
The Chief Deputy said, “You’re a big strong kid and you can really shoot. So far your qualifications all look good, but we have what you might call an ‘attitude suitability test’ that you must take before you can be accepted. We just don’t let anyone carry our badge, son.”
Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief said, “Take this pistol and shoot everything on this list”:
* six illegal aliens,
* six lawyers,
* six meth dealers,
* six Muslim extremists,
* six Democrats,
* and a rabbit.
“Why the rabbit?” queried the applicant.
“Great attitude. You pass.” said the Chief Deputy. “When can you start?”
When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only dreamed of working: the West Texas Sheriff’s Department. After a series of tests and interviews, the Chief Deputy finally called him into his office for the young man’s last interview.
The Chief Deputy said, “You’re a big strong kid and you can really shoot. So far your qualifications all look good, but we have what you might call an ‘attitude suitability test’ that you must take before you can be accepted. We just don’t let anyone carry our badge, son.”
Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief said, “Take this pistol and shoot everything on this list”:
* six illegal aliens,
* six lawyers,
* six meth dealers,
* six Muslim extremists,
* six Democrats,
* and a rabbit.
“Why the rabbit?” queried the applicant.
“Great attitude. You pass.” said the Chief Deputy. “When can you start?”
[video=youtube;pTzTKHEjW4Y]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pTzTKHEjW4Y[/video]
How about a "Thought" for the day...
The Bible says “Judge not Lest you Be Judged”. We just never know a persons situation so Please think before you react or speak. Everyone is Struggling right now and a little Kindness can go a long way even from 6 ft away. God Bless and be safe everyone. Remember all First Responders and Essential workers are risking there lives and there families lives for us everyday.
PLEASE BE KIND
The guy at Wal-Mart that has 4 packs of toilet paper, 4 containers of Lysol wipes, 4 loaves of bread, and 4 jugs of milk. He's getting awful looks from every person he walks by, customer and staff included. But he doesn't care, because he knows that none of what is in his cart is for him, and he has now bought essentials for his parents, and 3 senior couples that live on his street. Please, be kind.
That woman browsing slowly through the decor at Superstore? Her husband is up North, and she has 4 kids at home that are supposed to be in school right now, she finally found a babysitter so she could get some groceries. She is usually working right now, but needs to stay home to watch AND teach her kids. And she's wandering a few extra aisles to get just a couple more minutes of quiet before she goes back to her messy, noisy house, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Please, be kind.
That lady you shot a nasty glare at because she was walking the opposite direction than the arrow was pointing? She just tore her ACL, and instead of doing circles around the store on a knee that hurts like hell, she just popped into the one aisle she needed to grab some canned fruit before she heads back home to ice her leg. Please, be kind.
That guy in the supermarket that is standing just a little bit too close to you while you both look for the salad dressing you need? He was just laid off, and he's wondering how he's going to pay his mortgage and keep a roof over his family's head this month. He's a little distracted and isn't paying attention when he leans into your space. Please, be kind.
The cashier behind the till at the grocery store? He has been serving customers all day for minimum wage, as he is an essential service. He volunteered to cover shifts for a coworker in her 70's, she's more at risk than he is. He had an itchy nose and scratched it without realizing and then handed you your receipt. Please, be kind.
The lady that sat a little too close to you on the bus? She's a nurse, coming off of an 18 hour shift, and she saw two people die today in the ICU. She hasn't seen her family in weeks because she doesn't want to risk getting them sick. Her husband has the vehicle so he can take care of the kids, and she's half asleep and taking the bus. Please, be kind.
And the man you saw at the grocery store with his teenagers and toddler kids all in tow? His wife is a doctor, and he is a small business owner. He is facing bankruptcy. He wakes up every single morning and goes to sleep every single night wondering how he's going to keep his business afloat. He's at the end of his rope. He is suffering from crippling anxiety. His kids keep him calm and give him peace, they show him purpose. Please, be kind.
The 73 year old man who is "Not your President". He’s been under attack by vicious political opposition, backed by a media propaganda machine that bears false witness since his first minutes in office. He’s the first President in over 100 years to have to deal with something like this, and it’s a disease nobody on earth has ever seen before. He’s trying his best, but people have become so hateful, they would rather see him fail, and their fellows die, just to get him out of office... He gave up his billionaire lifestyle, and even his government Presidential salary, to face this criticism, see his name slandered, even by his former friends, and work these long hours, because all he wants to do is protect his country. Please be kind.
The point I'm trying to make? EVERYONE is going through something right now. Everyone is experiencing a trauma. We all need to have a bit of grace and kindness for one another. Nobody knows how to handle a situation like this, people will make mistakes, but we all need to show some grace and patience for one another.
Stop looking at your shoes when you shop and smile at someone, you can do that from 6ft away.
❤
When the world goes to Hell in a hand basket it does not mean our humanity has to follow suit. Embrace that which separates us from the rest of the animals, and use your intelligence to see through your fears.
The Bible says “Judge not Lest you Be Judged”. We just never know a persons situation so Please think before you react or speak. Everyone is Struggling right now and a little Kindness can go a long way even from 6 ft away. God Bless and be safe everyone. Remember all First Responders and Essential workers are risking there lives and there families lives for us everyday.
PLEASE BE KIND
The guy at Wal-Mart that has 4 packs of toilet paper, 4 containers of Lysol wipes, 4 loaves of bread, and 4 jugs of milk. He's getting awful looks from every person he walks by, customer and staff included. But he doesn't care, because he knows that none of what is in his cart is for him, and he has now bought essentials for his parents, and 3 senior couples that live on his street. Please, be kind.
That woman browsing slowly through the decor at Superstore? Her husband is up North, and she has 4 kids at home that are supposed to be in school right now, she finally found a babysitter so she could get some groceries. She is usually working right now, but needs to stay home to watch AND teach her kids. And she's wandering a few extra aisles to get just a couple more minutes of quiet before she goes back to her messy, noisy house, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Please, be kind.
That lady you shot a nasty glare at because she was walking the opposite direction than the arrow was pointing? She just tore her ACL, and instead of doing circles around the store on a knee that hurts like hell, she just popped into the one aisle she needed to grab some canned fruit before she heads back home to ice her leg. Please, be kind.
That guy in the supermarket that is standing just a little bit too close to you while you both look for the salad dressing you need? He was just laid off, and he's wondering how he's going to pay his mortgage and keep a roof over his family's head this month. He's a little distracted and isn't paying attention when he leans into your space. Please, be kind.
The cashier behind the till at the grocery store? He has been serving customers all day for minimum wage, as he is an essential service. He volunteered to cover shifts for a coworker in her 70's, she's more at risk than he is. He had an itchy nose and scratched it without realizing and then handed you your receipt. Please, be kind.
The lady that sat a little too close to you on the bus? She's a nurse, coming off of an 18 hour shift, and she saw two people die today in the ICU. She hasn't seen her family in weeks because she doesn't want to risk getting them sick. Her husband has the vehicle so he can take care of the kids, and she's half asleep and taking the bus. Please, be kind.
And the man you saw at the grocery store with his teenagers and toddler kids all in tow? His wife is a doctor, and he is a small business owner. He is facing bankruptcy. He wakes up every single morning and goes to sleep every single night wondering how he's going to keep his business afloat. He's at the end of his rope. He is suffering from crippling anxiety. His kids keep him calm and give him peace, they show him purpose. Please, be kind.
The 73 year old man who is "Not your President". He’s been under attack by vicious political opposition, backed by a media propaganda machine that bears false witness since his first minutes in office. He’s the first President in over 100 years to have to deal with something like this, and it’s a disease nobody on earth has ever seen before. He’s trying his best, but people have become so hateful, they would rather see him fail, and their fellows die, just to get him out of office... He gave up his billionaire lifestyle, and even his government Presidential salary, to face this criticism, see his name slandered, even by his former friends, and work these long hours, because all he wants to do is protect his country. Please be kind.
The point I'm trying to make? EVERYONE is going through something right now. Everyone is experiencing a trauma. We all need to have a bit of grace and kindness for one another. Nobody knows how to handle a situation like this, people will make mistakes, but we all need to show some grace and patience for one another.
Stop looking at your shoes when you shop and smile at someone, you can do that from 6ft away.
❤
When the world goes to Hell in a hand basket it does not mean our humanity has to follow suit. Embrace that which separates us from the rest of the animals, and use your intelligence to see through your fears.
I agree from home being laid off from work and keeping my distance. The next door neighbor will talk to her across the street neighbor while both sitting on their side of the street I'm sure to talk to another adult trying to keep some form of sanity after spending all day with their children and Elearning.
From a UPS driver...
5 types of customers since the “rona”:
1) Steve: he has been waiting for this moment his whole life. He has been drinking boilermakers since 10:00 am in his recliner and his AR is within arms reach. He has 6 months provisions in the basement and a bug out bag due west buried in the woods. Steve demands a handshake as I give him his package. He’s sizing me up as I deliver his ammo.
Steve will survive this, and he will kill you if he needs to.
2) Brad: He is standing at his window wearing skinny jeans and a Patagonia t-shirt. He is mad because there were no organic tomatoes at Whole Foods today. He points at the ground where he has taped a 6 ft no go zone line from his porch. I leave his case of Fuji water, organic granola bites, and his new “Bernie Bro” hat at the tape.
Brad will not survive.
Steve will probably eat him.
3) Nancy: She has sprayed everything with Thieves oil. Bought all the Clorox wipes, hand sanitizer, toilet paper, meat, and bread from the local grocery chain. She has quarantined her kids and sprays them with a mixture of thieves, lavender, & mint essential oils daily. She has posted every link known to man about “The Rona” on her social media. She will spray you if you break the 6 ft rule. I will leave her yet another case of toilet paper.
She will last longer than Brad, but not Steve.
4) Karen: She has called everybody and read them the latest news on “The Rona”. She asked for the manager at Food Lion, Walmart, Publix, McDonalds, Chi-Fil-A, and Vons all before noon demanding more toilet paper. Karen’s kids are currently faking “The Rona” to avoid her. I’m delivering “Hello kitchen” to her.
Karen will not survive longer than Brad.
5) Mary: Is sitting in the swing watching her kids have a water balloon fight in the front yard as she is on her fourth glass of wine. She went to the store and bought 2 cases of pop tarts, 6 boxes of cereal, 8 bags of pizza rolls, And a 6 roll pack of toilet paper. There is a playlist of Bob Marley, Pink Floyd, and Post Malone playing in the background. I’m bringing her second shipment of 15 bottles of wine in 3 days.
Mary will survive and marry Steve.
Together they will repopulate the earth.
5 types of customers since the “rona”:
1) Steve: he has been waiting for this moment his whole life. He has been drinking boilermakers since 10:00 am in his recliner and his AR is within arms reach. He has 6 months provisions in the basement and a bug out bag due west buried in the woods. Steve demands a handshake as I give him his package. He’s sizing me up as I deliver his ammo.
Steve will survive this, and he will kill you if he needs to.
2) Brad: He is standing at his window wearing skinny jeans and a Patagonia t-shirt. He is mad because there were no organic tomatoes at Whole Foods today. He points at the ground where he has taped a 6 ft no go zone line from his porch. I leave his case of Fuji water, organic granola bites, and his new “Bernie Bro” hat at the tape.
Brad will not survive.
Steve will probably eat him.
3) Nancy: She has sprayed everything with Thieves oil. Bought all the Clorox wipes, hand sanitizer, toilet paper, meat, and bread from the local grocery chain. She has quarantined her kids and sprays them with a mixture of thieves, lavender, & mint essential oils daily. She has posted every link known to man about “The Rona” on her social media. She will spray you if you break the 6 ft rule. I will leave her yet another case of toilet paper.
She will last longer than Brad, but not Steve.
4) Karen: She has called everybody and read them the latest news on “The Rona”. She asked for the manager at Food Lion, Walmart, Publix, McDonalds, Chi-Fil-A, and Vons all before noon demanding more toilet paper. Karen’s kids are currently faking “The Rona” to avoid her. I’m delivering “Hello kitchen” to her.
Karen will not survive longer than Brad.
5) Mary: Is sitting in the swing watching her kids have a water balloon fight in the front yard as she is on her fourth glass of wine. She went to the store and bought 2 cases of pop tarts, 6 boxes of cereal, 8 bags of pizza rolls, And a 6 roll pack of toilet paper. There is a playlist of Bob Marley, Pink Floyd, and Post Malone playing in the background. I’m bringing her second shipment of 15 bottles of wine in 3 days.
Mary will survive and marry Steve.
Together they will repopulate the earth.
White Squirrel
Marksman
"You must spread some reputatuion...blah....blah....blah!
That is an absolute winner. Hope you don't mind that I stole it and passed it along.
CPT Nervous
Grandmaster
How can you tell a blind man on a nudist beach?
It's not hard.
It's not hard.
CPT Nervous
Grandmaster
Topical, and funny!! Also love your sig line.
Quarantine Diary
Day 1 – I Can Do This!! Got enough food and wine to last a month!
Day 2 – Opening my 8th bottle of Wine. I fear wine supplies might not last!
Day 3 – Strawberries: Some have 210 seeds, some have 235 seeds. Who Knew??
Day 4 – 8:00pm. Removed my Day Pajamas and put on my Night Pajamas.
Day 5 – Today, I tried to make Hand Sanitizer. It came out as Jello Shots!!
Day 6 – I get to take the Garbage out. I’m So excited, I can’t decide what to wear.
Day 7 – Laughing way too much at my own jokes!!
Day 8 – Went to a new restaurant called “The Kitchen” You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.
Day 9 – I put liquor bottles in every room. Tonight, I’m getting all dressed up and going bar hopping.
Day 10 – Struck up a conversation with a spider today. Seems nice. He’s a web designer.
Day 11 – Isolation is hard. I swear my fridge just said, “What the hell do you want now?”
Day 12 – I realized why dogs get so excited about something moving outside, going for walks or car rides. I think I just barked at a squirrel.
Day 13 – If you keep a glass of wine in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face.
Day 14 – Watched the birds fight over a worm. The Cardinals lead the Blue Jays 3–1.
Day 15 – Anybody else feel like they’ve cooked dinner about 395 times this month?
Day 1 – I Can Do This!! Got enough food and wine to last a month!
Day 2 – Opening my 8th bottle of Wine. I fear wine supplies might not last!
Day 3 – Strawberries: Some have 210 seeds, some have 235 seeds. Who Knew??
Day 4 – 8:00pm. Removed my Day Pajamas and put on my Night Pajamas.
Day 5 – Today, I tried to make Hand Sanitizer. It came out as Jello Shots!!
Day 6 – I get to take the Garbage out. I’m So excited, I can’t decide what to wear.
Day 7 – Laughing way too much at my own jokes!!
Day 8 – Went to a new restaurant called “The Kitchen” You have to gather all the ingredients and make your own meal. I have no clue how this place is still in business.
Day 9 – I put liquor bottles in every room. Tonight, I’m getting all dressed up and going bar hopping.
Day 10 – Struck up a conversation with a spider today. Seems nice. He’s a web designer.
Day 11 – Isolation is hard. I swear my fridge just said, “What the hell do you want now?”
Day 12 – I realized why dogs get so excited about something moving outside, going for walks or car rides. I think I just barked at a squirrel.
Day 13 – If you keep a glass of wine in each hand, you can’t accidentally touch your face.
Day 14 – Watched the birds fight over a worm. The Cardinals lead the Blue Jays 3–1.
Day 15 – Anybody else feel like they’ve cooked dinner about 395 times this month?
It was rather nice out, so I decided to leave the windows open last night.
Anyway, long about 3am I hear this guy screaming outside. I listen, but nothing. Then, I hear it again. Yup, it's my neighbor, and he's yelling my name. It's 3:00 in the morning, and this idiot is outside my window yelling my name.
What the hell is wrong with this dude? At first, I was kinda mad he was over on my property at 3am yelling in my window, but then I remembered the guy is like 75 years old.
I mean, what if something really was wrong, and he needed help?
Why else would this old dude be up at 3am?
What kind of neighbor would I be if I didn't go see?
So I shut off the grinder, opened up the garage door, and went out to check on him.
Anyway, long about 3am I hear this guy screaming outside. I listen, but nothing. Then, I hear it again. Yup, it's my neighbor, and he's yelling my name. It's 3:00 in the morning, and this idiot is outside my window yelling my name.
What the hell is wrong with this dude? At first, I was kinda mad he was over on my property at 3am yelling in my window, but then I remembered the guy is like 75 years old.
I mean, what if something really was wrong, and he needed help?
Why else would this old dude be up at 3am?
What kind of neighbor would I be if I didn't go see?
So I shut off the grinder, opened up the garage door, and went out to check on him.
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