Wife not comfortable with me carrying.

[ATM]

...Her concern is also not my reaction to a situation as I am very level headed and have a long fuse. She is more worried about other peoples reactions should they notice that I am carrying.

I dont know that this is a fight I want to take on.

Ask her why she is more concerned with the non-threatening possibilities than the threatening ones.

Does she really fear that some harm will come from another person's disdain or possible comments? That forgoing a very appropriate means of defending against an actual criminal threat is a wise solution?

Bring the emphasis of the discussion back to safety.

And, of course, carry regardless. Some duties trump marital consensus.

 

[pig957]

just CC, most sheeple will not notice.

 

[satchmo72]

You mention that you both have been around guns most of our lives, her father is an LEO and rangemaster in a large city. Use this to your advantage. Bring the subject up next time you visit your in-laws.

I would be curious to know, and would be willing to guess: How long have you been married? Do you have kids? Has your wife ever been in a situation where she did not feel safe?

Married 15 years, one kid and no, we have never been in a situation that would have warranted it's use. We try not to put ourselves in harms way if we do not have to.

I have talked to my father-in-law about carrying. His views are a bit different since he works in a neighboring state that doesn't allow CC.
His thoughts were to be careful, learn how to carry correctly and keep my wits about me should something arise. My main question to him was about chambering a round, his thoughts were that yes, I should, that if I were to need my weapon that I would not want to add time in such a situation. The interesting thing he said was is that while he has had to use his firearm, I should really come to grips with the fact that I would be killing another human being and it is not to be taken lightly, that the mental toll is more than I could imagine. I respect that. It is why I stopped carrying when I was younger, my protection then wasn't as important as it is now, funny how a family changes that.

Soooo...I talked to my wife this morning and asked if she trusted me carrying. She said she did.

I said to her, "good, then lets not worry about what anyone else then." and she said "the only 2 people I worry about is you and your son, screw everyone else"

I then followed up by saying "ok, then I ask you not to worry about them and feel secure that when I am carrying, it is for protecting the two people who mean the world to me"

She said, "ok, since you put it that way"

 

[TTravis]

Valentine's Day is coming up. Get her a pink revolver and tell her how much you love her.

 

[shadohman]

Double post.

 

[satchmo72]

Pink guns

Valentine's Day is coming up. Get her a pink revolver and tell her how much you love her.

I offered to buy her a pink AR, her comment? "Pink guns are stupid."

 

[shadohman]

"I would rather live with disapproval for carrying a gun than hear condolences for my loss."

The actual wording may vary depending on who is asking but that is my basic response to why do you carry from everyone.

Easily personalized and effective.

 

[newgunguy]

tell her what my buddy has answered with when someone notices his gun and asks "are you a policeman" he politely tells them "no" I am head of security for a very important family.....mine

 

[JettaKnight]

I carried for 7-8 years before I told my wife.

This dude knows how to conceal !!

No kidding! I hate when my wife hugs me on my strong side in public, bumps my gun, then instantly recoils with a surprised look on her face for all to see.

 

[youngda9]

No kidding! I hate when my wife hugs me on my strong side in public, bumps my gun, then instantly recoils with a surprised look on her face for all to see.

Are you sure it's your gun that's causing that reaction

 

[Cemetery-man]

OP, I know how you feel. My wife, kids and grandchildren all don't like guns. My wife is very vocal about having them around the house and carrying. She tolerates it though since she knows it's a losing battle.

 

[schafe]

My personal experience:

When I would come home at night and take my gun off/out, my wife would would say "you're carrying your gun?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"Because."
When I carried and she was with me, I didn't bring it up, but if she felt it, she would ask in the same fashion.
Then came the night we meet friends for dinner downtown. A late walk back to the car with some mildly unusual people walking behind us she whispered "Do you have your gun?"
"Yes."
"Good."

My wife and I were in a similar situation about a year ago. She asked if I was carrying, and I said yes. Her response was
"Good, cause I don't have mine"

 

[Rikkrack]

The wife CC so often she forgets she has it on. Goes into work (prohibited by her employer) sits at desk and realizes she forgot to take off. 2 years ago, wouldn't have owned one of her own, let alone carry so often. Shooting with other ladies who carry made her feel not so alone.

 

[abrumlev]

Try this and get back to us.

He might not ever come back...

I can relate. My wife's reaction would be "What will the neighbors think?"

This is what it sounds like. The majority of women's feelings are based on this. They tend to be susceptible to other's opinions and take judgment very harshly.

 

[worddoer]

To the OP

I would emphasize why you are choosing to carry a firearm.

For my wife, for 1 week I just gave her all the news in our area. Between all the bank robberies, pharmacy robberies, and house invasions, it was clear that crime exists.

I then told her that I care for her and my son far more than what my neighbors or either of our parents think. I frequently said that "you matter more than their approval". Because that is the truth. Not only did it help my wife to understand my motivation...but it added some confidence that I will do what it takes to protect them.

You currently have 2 possible obstacles.

1. Does your wife understand that bad things could happen? Or is she like my mother-in-law who sticks her head in the sand and pretends that nothing bad ever happens anywhere. Without overcoming this, you will have an uphill battle and probably will not have her full support in the future.

2. She needs to know that your motivation for this is not to be "macho" or to show off. It is the concern and the admittance that I am not the strongest, fastest, most agile man. If I were a super ninja, I wouldn't need the gun. But most of us are not super ninjas (unless you happen to be in a mall ). You want to make sure that if a meth head is coming after us for my wallet, I want something that will make him stop and keep everyone in my family safe.

I hope this helps, but this is what helped in our household. Not only does my wife now approve, but she defends our families decision. So much so that she now has her own carry license and revolver as well.

 

[AndersonIN]

Just explain to her that you were trying to fulfill you obligation as a male for protecting the family. Seeing how she will not allow you to do this to the best of your ability it is now HER RESPONSIBILITY TO PROTECT THE FAMILY IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCE (as you will be standing back with your hands over your eyes screaming "DO SOMETHING DO SOMETHING!")! And that you would strongly recommend her sharpening up that nail file she carries! Then tell her to fix you another sammich and get you a COLD beer!

 

[brotherbill3]

Married 15 years, one kid and no, we have never been in a situation that would have warranted it's use. We try not to put ourselves in harms way if we do not have to.

I have talked to my father-in-law about carrying. His views are a bit different since he works in a neighboring state that doesn't allow CC.
His thoughts were to be careful, learn how to carry correctly and keep my wits about me should something arise. My main question to him was about chambering a round, his thoughts were that yes, I should, that if I were to need my weapon that I would not want to add time in such a situation. The interesting thing he said was is that while he has had to use his firearm, I should really come to grips with the fact that I would be killing another human being and it is not to be taken lightly, that the mental toll is more than I could imagine. I respect that. It is why I stopped carrying when I was younger, my protection then wasn't as important as it is now, funny how a family changes that.

Soooo...I talked to my wife this morning and asked if she trusted me carrying. She said she did.

I said to her, "good, then lets not worry about what anyone else then." and she said "the only 2 people I worry about is you and your son, screw everyone else"

I then followed up by saying "ok, then I ask you not to worry about them and feel secure that when I am carrying, it is for protecting the two people who mean the world to me"

She said, "ok, since you put it that way"

Sounds like you got it worked out ... now you need to get her to where you are. (That may be harder.) ... Good Luck ...

 

[brotherbill3]

I offered to buy her a pink AR, her comment? "Pink guns are stupid."

Have to add this - So get her whatever color she wants.
FTR. My wife agrees with her. That's why her G19 is standard black.

 

[Kedric]

Saw this on another forum. I think it's worth a laugh:

Tim decided to tie the knot with his long time girlfriend.
One evening, after the honeymoon, he was assembling some loads for an upcoming hunt.
His wife was standing there at the bench watching him. After along period of silence she finally speaks.

"Honey, I've been thinking, now that we are married I think it's time you quit hunting, shooting, handloading, and fishing.
Maybe you should sell your guns and boat."

Tim gets this horrified look on his face.

She says, "Darling, what's wrong?"

”There for a minute you were sounding like my ex-wife.”

"Ex wife!", she screams, "I didn't know you were married before!"

”I wasn't "

 

[Benny]

She's worried about what others will think about you CCing?

Just how many people notice you "CCing?"