Military BS Stories or the last liar wins.

[actaeon277]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/fr/cp0/e15/q65/252801536_1717005331838077_2914195889373722220_n.jpg

SINS one time plotted us in Kansas, so..

 

[actaeon277]

SINS one time plotted us in Kansas,

 

[actaeon277]

On a sub going on a long deployment, you have to get creative with storage. Here are cans of food on the deck (floor) that you walk on, because all the lockers are full.

 

[nonobaddog]

On a sub going on a long deployment, you have to get creative with storage. Here are cans of food on the deck (floor) that you walk on, because all the lockers are full.

With all that food on board it's no wonder they keep going under the surface.

 

[actaeon277]

With all that food on board it's no wonder they keep going under the surface.

Think how much 100 men (or so) can eat in 4 to 6 months.

 

[Nazgul]

Reading a coffee thread on another forum reminded me of this. In the Marine Detachment onboard the JFK, CV-67, keeping the coffee pot full was the responsibility of the newest member of the group, usually a PFC. Just one of those making your bones deals. We got one that didn't drink coffee and resented doing this. Granted some people took it to extremes by waking him up in the middle of the night to make coffee.

I was SGT of the Guard one night well we were deployed and the pot was empty. Not being a total a** I went to make a new pot. Found a sock in the bottom of the pot, and I had consumed a large part of the Joe....

I cleaned the pot and made some new without saying a word. Talked to the other SGT's about this and that young man found himself on every S**T detail we had. He had duty every weekend and holiday, inspections did not go well for him. Even liberty when in some neat foreign ports was almost non existent for him.

After about 5 months during a particularly difficult PT session I took him aside and in my best angry Marine voice told him what was going on. No further problems.

Don

 

[actaeon277]

I didn't drink coffee, and had to make it when I was a new watchstander.
Didn't like it. But I think a sock in the pot might have gotten me impulsed out a torpedo tube.

I also was lined up to pick up cigarette butts when I was TAD at a school.
I was REAL pissed about that, since I didn't smoke, AND the idiots that did smoke couldn't make it to the bucket that was there just for that.
Course, a Chief tried to exert his "authority".
Apparently my "authority" was a little higher than his.
So then he told me he'd make my life so miserable I'd wish I was on the sub.
I laughed in his face. On the sub, I'd be working 100 hour weeks.
Unless this chief was going to spend a LOT more time out there, well it turned out to be harder to do that than he was willing to put in.
ha ha

 

[actaeon277]

 

[2A_Tom]

OK now, None of that DD 214 BS. Wea are a kinder gentler INGO. We dont want to run off any noobs.















Edit to add, I have 2.







Edit

 

[target64]

one is none
two is one

a noob is just a FNG. to be seen and not heard

 

[2A_Tom]

That is what Act says about guys woth less than 7000 posts.

 

[target64]

That is what Act says about guys woth less than 7000 posts.

you mean 70,000 posts

 

[2A_Tom]

one is none
two is one

That actually happened to me the other day.

My 1911A1 GI safety jambed on. I had none for a day until I got the manager at Blythe's mad for wanting more off than he originally offered. He did and I walked with a new 1911A1 GI.

And one that needs to go in for repairs.

 

[actaeon277]

That actually happened to me the other day.

My 1911A1 GI safety jambed on. I had none for a day until I got the manager at Blythe's mad for wanting more off than he originally offered. He did and I walked with a new 1911A1 GI.

And one that needs to go in for repairs.

coulda loaned you one

 

[KellyinAvon]

Time to get this thread back on track

If you've heard this one before, don't stop me, I want to hear it again

Mid-90s, McConnell AFB, Kansas, young USAF SSgt KellyinAvon was the Assistant Non-Commissioned Officer in Charge of Equipment Management. McConnell was transitioning from being a B-1B Bomb Wing to being one of the "Core Tanker Wings" with four squadrons of KC-135 Tankers.

Early one morning I noticed a tractor-trailer out in the parking lot with a load of equipment (specifically B1 maintenance stands.) So I climb up on the trailer and start looking for the paperwork. The driver gets out of the truck about the same time the Receiving (the folks who unload the trucks) supervisor walks over. I'd looked at the paperwork and saw that it was an equipment transfer (I'd process it rather than the Receiving folks.) The Receiving Supervisor then tells the driver that his folks can't unload it until Transportation shows up and agrees that it's not unloading at their dock.

About that time the AGE (Aerospace Ground Equipment) equipment custodian drove through the parking lot because he spotted the maintenance stands on the trailer. He climbed up on the trailer because something didn't look right to him. After looking at them he turns around and says, "I'll be back with a FAX from the depot item manager later. These things won't function, if they hadn't been tack-welded they would fall apart! These things are going to DRMO!"

At that point the driver had a look on his face. The look said, "This is why I pay so damn much in taxes."

 

[2A_Tom]

Time to get this thread back on track

You used to be fun.

 

[KellyinAvon]

You used to be fun.

What? I'm still fun!

 

[actaeon277]

What? I'm still fun!

He's just shaking his fist, yelling at the clouds.

 

[actaeon277]

 

[KellyinAvon]

You used to be fun.

Upon further review, this reminds me of a story!!!

Summer 2006: SMSgt KellyinAvon is a Squadron Superintendent at would turn out to be his final assignment in the USAF. We were located on the NASA Langley Research Center (NASA-LARC) next to Langley Air Force Base, Virginia.

Our squadron had just stood up. On the other side of the Langley AFB golf course was Headquarters Air Combat Command (HQ ACC), where many of us had worked before.

We (the USAF stationed at Langley) could drive through the NASA-LARC, but we couldn't stop. We could only drive to the Langley AFB gate by the golf course.

So we have a "squadron function" and invite many of our former co-workers over to our squadron. As the Squadron Superintendent I coordinate with the NASA folks to make sure they know who will be parking over here.

My former co-workers at HQ ACC accused me of being in league with "the man" and that I'd have said, "**** these NASA pukes!" when I worked at HQ ACC.

I probably would've...