If you claim to be a Christian, what keeps you from gathering with a local church?

[breakingcontact]

I used to attend regularly, was very active in Bible study, serving in groups, and helping others.

Then some things happened that brought on significant challenges in my life, and I discovered that there was no one in the church there for me. Figured if I was on my own anyway, why bother?

Thats too bad. God willing you can find a more sincere group of believers.

 

[breakingcontact]

Dave Morrow wrote a book years ago. It was "why men hate going to church".

The 1st century church was lead by men of conviction, who were willing and often did die standing for their faith. In America we started letting the church be feminized. The whole program is wrapped around women and children. The leadership became feminized and often the men still in the lime light are what I call girly men. The teaching became watered down. Certainly women of wisdom have a place leading younger women and children.

Women are not supposed to lead men. Men are supposed to lead. Not only spiritual areas but ancillary details also. I watched a normally sound church put a woman in charge of the bi annual outdoor work detail. She went straight to the "I am the boss" attitude and effectively shut down the all volunteer workforce. Now they have to hire the work to be done.

The goal of a church gathering is to worship and know GOD and enjoy HIM forever. The duties of a church is also to teach doctrine, (and learn to apply it) reproof and correction, and instruction for righteousness. In my experience a Chaplains meeting in a prison or a Celebrate Recovery bible study looks more like the 1st century church than today's mainline denominations.

The regular meeting is supposed to be a place to get charged up and instructed to lead your family and others in your circle of influence through the rest of the week. It is not to full fill an attendance requirement. If it is done right, the regular meeting is something for a real, God honoring man to look forward to attending.

Good stuff.

I carefully titled my post to avoid the phrase "going to church".

Folks too often view it as a ticket to punch or a place to bring their families to be instructed.

I really view a father as the priest of his house and when we gather together with a "church" it is a really a gathering of small churches. Some take that concept and abuse it...but again, that is why we need one another, for encouragement and correction.

I think the "pastor as president" model has burned a good many which is why there should be a plurality of elders not one sole pastor.

As far as the church losing grasp of the 1st century focus, at some point many churches start serving themselves and/or start reflecting the culture and folks understandably say...why bother?

 

[breakingcontact]

You do not have to attend a church to believe in a higher power.
I have yet to find one I feel comfortable with, and I have tried.
It's the people.
We speak to the lord every day. My spouse believes deeply. We don't need any guidance in this.
Let's leave it at that OK.

I definitely understand the people can be difficult and have had difficulties there too.

I'm also a difficult person at times!

 

[breakingcontact]

Overall, looking for understanding and I appreciate the replies.

I've been part or churches that meet in coffee shops because they are too small to afford a building, I've gathered with what I consider a church (several families together in a house with mature leadership and of one mind) so im definitely pretty open to what the gathering can look like.

I do think most 1st century believers would look at most of our churches now and go...huh?

I saw a guy hauling his boat this morning and I was like...man I understand why he isn't going to church this morning. Now of course he may read his Bible more than me and attend service 51 Sundays and skip one a year...but I definitely have sympathy for folks who work on Sundays, just have no time to themselves, no decent local churches and so on.

I am encouraged to see churches gathering outside of Sunday morning to allow people more options.

 

[thunderchicken]

There are many reasons why people choose not to attend church. Some have been mentioned by others and some have shared personal experiences and I respect that.

Being a believer is about your personal relationship with Christ, regardless of denomination. The church I belong to is Ritter Ave. Free Methodist and our mission statement is simply "Love God, love people and make disciples". Sometimes we do these things pretty well, other times we fall short. It's my opinion that all too often when a church body falls short of taking care of an individual especially a newcomer, they are lost and likely won't return. That's unfortunate. However, we used to have a welcome and greet time at the start of our services. We also encouraged folks to fill out an information/comment card and based on that, folks would know if they should be contacted or not. Many times those comments were that the welcome and greet time made people feel uncomfortable because they felt it was pointing them out. Other comments suggested they hadn't been made to feel welcome and felt ignored. That's a hard thing to balance.
I also think societal changes have caused some to stay away or to attend a church based on what it offers them. Not all churches have the same resources in people, facilities, activities, finances or other means. I've known many who chose to attend one church over another based on what they could offer for their kids or because of associating with a group or

Iron sharpens iron. I do believe we as Christians are called to meet with other like minded believers regularly. That doesn't necessarily have to be a weekly Sunday service but maybe a small group. Maybe it's online and an occasional small gathering.
I am a firm believer that we are all always either influenced or influencing others around us. Gathering allows the opportunity for that iron to sharpen iron, to challenge each other, encourage each other, care for each other and do good works together.
I go most weeks, because I know I'm not perfect. I know that I'm a sinner and that the bible tells us the wages of sin are death. It also tells us, all have sinned and fallen short of the kingdom of God. But through salvation, I can keep working to be more Christ like in my words, attitude and actions.

 

[MCgrease08]

Overall, looking for understanding and I appreciate the replies.

I've been part or churches that meet in coffee shops because they are too small to afford a building, I've gathered with what I consider a church (several families together in a house with mature leadership and of one mind) so im definitely pretty open to what the gathering can look like.

I do think most 1st century believers would look at most of our churches now and go...huh?

I saw a guy hauling his boat this morning and I was like...man I understand why he isn't going to church this morning. Now of course he may read his Bible more than me and attend service 51 Sundays and skip one a year...but I definitely have sympathy for folks who work on Sundays, just have no time to themselves, no decent local churches and so on.

I am encouraged to see churches gathering outside of Sunday morning to allow people more options.

Mine has two services on Saturday evenings too for folks that can't go on Sunday morning or prefer a smaller more intimate setting.

I'm told they also used to hold one on Sunday afternoons at 1:00 pm and affectionately refer to it as the hang-over service. Because you have to reach people where they are. Anything short of sin should be considered to help people find Christ.

 

[churchmouse]

Overall, looking for understanding and I appreciate the replies.

I've been part or churches that meet in coffee shops because they are too small to afford a building, I've gathered with what I consider a church (several families together in a house with mature leadership and of one mind) so im definitely pretty open to what the gathering can look like.

I do think most 1st century believers would look at most of our churches now and go...huh?

I saw a guy hauling his boat this morning and I was like...man I understand why he isn't going to church this morning. Now of course he may read his Bible more than me and attend service 51 Sundays and skip one a year...but I definitely have sympathy for folks who work on Sundays, just have no time to themselves, no decent local churches and so on.

I am encouraged to see churches gathering outside of Sunday morning to allow people more options.

I was referred to a local church to fill a part time maint. position as they were in dire need. The HVAC systems were antique and in disrepair. Big place. Lots of things needed attention and my skill sets matched what was needed. I worked there (after retirement) for about 4 years until I started my battle with Cancer. It was a learning experience for me to see how people react to the church environment and how those who actually ran the place filled their positions.
It is the Vinyard Life Church on the west side of Indy. Overall, a very decent place with mostly solid people in the ranks.
They have their own take on things with live music and a different perspective of how to deliver Gods word. It works for those people.
I was asked a few times to join the membership but declined for my own reasons learned through experience.
Even that environment was not something I was willing to use my time to attend. I will speak to the lord as I need to when the time is right. Not on a schedule. My Sundays were reserved for family time at the lake or my time at the racetrack. Being a workaholic that was the only day for such things.
My kids attended the catholic schools and once they graduated you could not get them in a church for any reason save a wedding. They still want no part of organized religion.

 

[thunderchicken]

I was referred to a local church to fill a part time maint. position as they were in dire need. The HVAC systems were antique and in disrepair. Big place. Lots of things needed attention and my skill sets matched what was needed. I worked there (after retirement) for about 4 years until I started my battle with Cancer. It was a learning experience for me to see how people react to the church environment and how those who actually ran the place filled their positions.
It is the Vinyard Life Church on the west side of Indy. Overall, a very decent place with mostly solid people in the ranks.
They have their own take on things with live music and a different perspective of how to deliver Gods word. It works for those people.
I was asked a few times to join the membership but declined for my own reasons learned through experience.
Even that environment was not something I was willing to use my time to attend. I will speak to the lord as I need to when the time is right. Not on a schedule. My Sundays were reserved for family time at the lake or my time at the racetrack. Being a workaholic that was the only day for such things.
My kids attended the catholic schools and once they graduated you could not get them in a church for any reason save a wedding. They still want no part of organized religion.

I can understand your experience and appreciate your position with respect

 

[Hoosier 1955]

That makes this one easy. I don't claim to be Christian. I come from a large family who all turned into different people, like cultists. I find myself much happier, more free, and much more at peace when I accepted just being agnostic. Life is Good!

 

[Timjoebillybob]

What keeps Christians from attending church regularly? I’m sure there are as many reasons as their are people not attending. But I’ll tell you why I didn’t attend for a long time: I put myself before worshipping and serving our Lord and Savior. For many years, it was simply easier to sleep in on Sunday mornings—especially those days where we’d been working a bunch of weekends in a row.

Other factors: My parents quit going to church when I was about 12 years old. I don’t know why. They never told my brother and me. So, I just got out of the habit of going and learned to like my extra free day on the weekends.

When I met my wife, her dad had converted to catholism. Her mom did not. So he would go to mass regularly but his wife and kids were left to their own devices. She too was a believer but got out of the habit of going when she was a younger kid too. When we met, neither one of us simply had any real notion about going. We believed, kinda. We’d say grace before the holiday meals and every once in awhile, etc. But we had made an idol out of free weekend time.

There were other excuses we used to justify our decision. But I’ll just leave it there.

Your experience is almost the mirror of mine. A few years back my family started attending regularly, maybe not every week but most, this went on for a few years. Then old habits started to kick in and it was a bit less, then a bit less, then a house fire a time we probably had some of our greatest need for fellowship but there was this or that always an excuse...

He did… when talking about CHURCH discipline. But if you don’t believe in church then you can’t believe that verse hahaha

Now of course church is not a building but rather a group of true followers of Christ. Followers of Christ are encouraged to meet regularly and it’s also important to remember that almost the entire New Testament was written to churches in different regions.

My question to true followers of a Christ is why would you not want to gather regularly with other true followers of Christ? If you are eternally focused, meeting with others who are too should be pretty rewarding.

Not sure if I gave the impression that I don't believe in church. I do.

The rest of your post I can't really find anything to disagree with.

Overall, looking for understanding and I appreciate the replies.

I've been part or churches that meet in coffee shops because they are too small to afford a building, I've gathered with what I consider a church (several families together in a house with mature leadership and of one mind) so im definitely pretty open to what the gathering can look like.

I do think most 1st century believers would look at most of our churches now and go...huh?

I saw a guy hauling his boat this morning and I was like...man I understand why he isn't going to church this morning. Now of course he may read his Bible more than me and attend service 51 Sundays and skip one a year...but I definitely have sympathy for folks who work on Sundays, just have no time to themselves, no decent local churches and so on.

I am encouraged to see churches gathering outside of Sunday morning to allow people more options.

I think that too many people place too much emphasis on going to a building called a church, and I seriously mean absolutely no disrespect for those places. I plan to start attending one again myself. But at least some of that comes from the churches themselves.

Many years ago my great aunt was in home hospice and my mom and I stopped by to visit, it was on a Sunday. We were talking and she mentioned that her friend was coming over for their weekly bible study, then she mentioned she was wondering if that would be enough because she wasn't able to go to church and if God would forgive her. My Mom said I'm sure He understands. I sat there for a few seconds then I asked her what does the bible say? She looked at me and said what? I said doesn't it say wherever two or more are gathered in my name I am there? She said but this isn't a church. I asked is a church the people or the building? She said the people. I then replied then wouldn't your bible study be a church. She said I guess it would. This entire time my mom was staring at me like I grew a third eye. I was in my mid 20s hadn't seen the inside of a church(the building or the people) in probably close to 15 years except for the occasional wedding or funeral, had never cracked a bible in my life except when the pastor said to turn to such and such. When we got in the car she asked me, how did you know that/where did that come from? I told her the truth, I have no idea. To this day the only thing I can think of is that the Lord was speaking through me to give comfort to one of his flock.

As for the guy with the boat, maybe he was. And I mean that seriously. Some places have the occasional services on the water, where I live there have been a couple. What would you say if I told you I've seen a man and his family sitting in their truck with boat attached attending a service? One of the churches by me has Sunday services at the local drive in theater from Memorial day to Labor day every year and yes I seen that. Now chances are neither of those apply, nor any of the other possibilities I could think of. But...

 

[DadSmith]

Philippians 2:12 KJV
Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.

This is the main thing when it comes to worship, and salvation. It's between you and God. No one else matters.

I've taught my children that it's their choice and once made they must live or die by that choice so make it a good choice.

 

[DragonGunner]

Methodist from my youth for many years.....then Pentecost for 10 years and couldn't keep me out of church, was there 2-3 times a week.....a tragic ending. Haven't seen it all, but saw a learned enough. Not against church, but just don't hardly go anywhere and when I do I walk out usually disgusted. To many are just plain dead, its just a social activity and maybe a ice cream social. People tell me about their church and the doctrines....I have problems with what I have learned as truth to cope with unlearned to just false teachings and traditions. I'm on my own path with Christ, I use to call myself a Christian until a pastor said a christian is someone who is Christ like.....I have called myself a saved sinner. I know many who love God but don't go to church.....I personally know many who go to church and live like a devil. It use to be pastors became pastors because they were called....now its just a job to make money and not have to work a 50 hr. job. Met some horrible, horrible narcissist pastors. I'm all for christian unity and and gathering together.....you know...."not forsaking yourselves from the assembly of yourselves.." Well guess what...thats what church folks do....Paul says "You separate, you divide....I am afraid of you." The methodist separate themselves from the baptist, the baptist separate from the lutheran who separate from the catholics who separate from the church of christ who separate from the pentecostal who separate from........why don't we all go to the same church, why do we separate and divide. If we all believe in the same God......Its what are you doing when not in "church". I was baptized in 1984 and 2 weeks later I started having dreams and visions....those are shunned in many churches....thats not for today....why....in part of that dream I was at a bridge in the wilderness dying from wounds by the enemy. I saw a church up on a hill but it was dark and scary like a horror movie. A cross up on top, and graves surrounding it fo as far as you could see, a stream flood by and came under the bridge, filled will garbage and filth....I looked on the other side and pure water flowed out on white stones and I marveled....then I cried with a loud voice, "God if you show me which way to go I will go!!" I turned and saw a giant hand glowing pointing back the way I came and I went back and traveled towards higher ground wondering how I could still be alive....I arrived at the top and saw a beautiful city glowing lights in the night......this is part of that dream....that same day went to church and the pastor preached my dream out of Psalms 107. I believe I saw the apostate church, and believe I was led away form it to the real kingdom of God. But this is for me, I standby past comment that the church today are a mess....I have had several former pastors tell me the same thing. The early church healed the sick, cast out demons, did miracles the works of the Holy Ghost were working. These are just my insights.....I have walked a long time and seen a bunch. God Bless those who have found a good church for the. Most if not all when knowing my doctrines and beliefs will reject me, I think I terrify them so there can't be unity. We all have our own walk, I'm thrilled with mine, I love talking about Christ one with people no matter who they are.....but church today, perhaps because of what I have been through....I can't go through the dead and tired motions anymore, or have any desire....at least for now.

 

[ancjr]

Most churches and people are right in their confession that they are exercising their freedom to go their own way and are happy doing so. When I study the Word I learn of a way that is not my way or the way of any other man, by which one is able to speak with the authority granted of God himself as Paul does.

2 Timothy 2

8 Remember that Jesus Christ of the seed of David was raised from the dead according to my gospel:

 

[ditcherman]

Methodist from my youth for many years.....then Pentecost for 10 years and couldn't keep me out of church, was there 2-3 times a week.....a tragic ending. Haven't seen it all, but saw a learned enough. Not against church, but just don't hardly go anywhere and when I do I walk out usually disgusted. To many are just plain dead, its just a social activity and maybe a ice cream social. People tell me about their church and the doctrines....I have problems with what I have learned as truth to cope with unlearned to just false teachings and traditions. I'm on my own path with Christ, I use to call myself a Christian until a pastor said a christian is someone who is Christ like.....I have called myself a saved sinner. I know many who love God but don't go to church.....I personally know many who go to church and live like a devil. It use to be pastors became pastors because they were called....now its just a job to make money and not have to work a 50 hr. job. Met some horrible, horrible narcissist pastors. I'm all for christian unity and and gathering together.....you know...."not forsaking yourselves from the assembly of yourselves.." Well guess what...thats what church folks do....Paul says "You separate, you divide....I am afraid of you." The methodist separate themselves from the baptist, the baptist separate from the lutheran who separate from the catholics who separate from the church of christ who separate from the pentecostal who separate from........why don't we all go to the same church, why do we separate and divide. If we all believe in the same God......Its what are you doing when not in "church". I was baptized in 1984 and 2 weeks later I started having dreams and visions....those are shunned in many churches....thats not for today....why....in part of that dream I was at a bridge in the wilderness dying from wounds by the enemy. I saw a church up on a hill but it was dark and scary like a horror movie. A cross up on top, and graves surrounding it fo as far as you could see, a stream flood by and came under the bridge, filled will garbage and filth....I looked on the other side and pure water flowed out on white stones and I marveled....then I cried with a loud voice, "God if you show me which way to go I will go!!" I turned and saw a giant hand glowing pointing back the way I came and I went back and traveled towards higher ground wondering how I could still be alive....I arrived at the top and saw a beautiful city glowing lights in the night......this is part of that dream....that same day went to church and the pastor preached my dream out of Psalms 107. I believe I saw the apostate church, and believe I was led away form it to the real kingdom of God. But this is for me, I standby past comment that the church today are a mess....I have had several former pastors tell me the same thing. The early church healed the sick, cast out demons, did miracles the works of the Holy Ghost were working. These are just my insights.....I have walked a long time and seen a bunch. God Bless those who have found a good church for the. Most if not all when knowing my doctrines and beliefs will reject me, I think I terrify them so there can't be unity. We all have our own walk, I'm thrilled with mine, I love talking about Christ one with people no matter who they are.....but church today, perhaps because of what I have been through....I can't go through the dead and tired motions anymore, or have any desire....at least for now.

You are not wrong that the church, and even the Church, may be a mess today.
But what can we expect, they are ran by men? Even a called man gets tired, makes mistakes, and is still just a man in the end.
Idolizing a pastor is a recipe for disaster, and I think people are sometimes looking for a crutch for their own shortcomings, and want to rely on a body/person to redeem them instead of be redeemed themselves.
Conversely, walking into a church knowing everything they’re doing wrong can’t really end well either. I’m not saying you do that @DragonGunner , you just sort of painted that picture that I’m familiar with.
I go to a place that tries very hard to balance grace and acceptance with the truth. People come in that have ideas that want to move towards legalism, holiness at the cost of exclusion of those who are different than them (this is what some may call getting soft I suppose) and it just doesn’t end well.
Those people may be great saints of God, but they just insist on pushing their way.
Again, not saying you specifically DG.

What I would say to you is I know how hard it is to unlearn something that was once such a part of your foundation. It can be a painful process. I got saved in a place that made me know it was really real, exactly what I needed at the time. But it was very legalistic, gave the vibe that they might be the only ones in heaven so it was sure good you were here. We’ve been involved in a few churches and absolutely love the grace that our church now is built on. It’s a real melting pot, what I imagine heaven will look like, made up of a bunch of people from different denominations getting along, even though they may see things differently.
Through His grace I unlearned some things.

 

[ditcherman]

I used to attend regularly, was very active in Bible study, serving in groups, and helping others.

Then some things happened that brought on significant challenges in my life, and I discovered that there was no one in the church there for me. Figured if I was on my own anyway, why bother?

I’m sorry.
Odds are our paths have never crossed but I know I’ve let some down along the way, and I bet in retrospect some that you knew are now sorry too.
We’re just men, hope you are still clinging to God.

 

[fullmetaljesus]

Luke 6:5:6?

Back when I was a Christian I don't recall the bible saying anything about keeping attendance.


This feel like cherry picking to me.

If you are passing judgement on those who wish not to worship with others have you sat in judgment of yourself to see how you could do better? I think it would be safe to assume you are wearing blended clothing or at least have some pretty sure I saw something about that in the Bible.

 

[ditcherman]

Luke 6:5:6?

Back when I was a Christian I don't recall the bible saying anything about keeping attendance.


This feel like cherry picking to me.

If you are passing judgement on those who wish not to worship with others have you sat in judgment of yourself to see how you could do better? I think it would be safe to assume you are wearing blended clothing or at least have some pretty sure I saw something about that in the Bible.

Meh. I didn’t see any judging going on, the thread title is just a question and people are answering for them.

“Legalism sucks”
-Jesus
Mk 7:9

 

[fullmetaljesus]

“Legalism sucks”
-Jesus
Mk 7:9

Are you quoting me at me?

 

[KokomoDave]

I wouldn't want to judge me cause I suck.

 

[ancjr]

James 4:12​

“There is one lawgiver, who is able to save and to destroy: who art thou that judgest another?”

No one will escape the judgment of the Word of God.