Hitchhiker

[Hatin Since 87]

Never again.

On my way home last night, I picked up a hitchhiker. I have never done it before but it was freezing out and he was well dressed, didnt look like your normal hitchhiker.

Anyways. I pull over and he gets in the truck, puts his cooler in the back seat, and adjust the vents to warm up. Made a little small talk but he was pretty short with his remarks so I just kinda kept quiet for a bit. That was probably the worst thing to do, cause then my mind started wandering. Is he a killer? On the run? Rapist? Drug addict? Who the hell did I just pick up? If I get pulled over and this dudes a con, I’m gonna go down for someone i dont even know.

So I start trying to make small talk again. Eventually, I asked him… “whats in the cooler, few beers for the game?” He told me “its none of your ****ing business”. I didnt know if he was joking around and being a goofball, or if he was being a dick. I kinda laughed it off, then my mind started wandering again. This guy could have a human head in there for all i know. So i asked him again “Hey, seriously, whats in your cooler?” This time he sounded more aggrevated and said it where i could tell it wasnt goofing around “its none of your ****ing business”.

I pulled over and told him he needed to get out. I was nice, given his attitude, but told him to get out of the truck. He didnt argue and hopped out. I drove away and got home and immediately told my wife about it.

Go out to the truck to get my stuff out and bring it inside, and not even joking, he left his cooler in the back seat! My wife didnt believe me at first, but after i showed her the cooler he left in the truck she finally understood I wasnt making it up.

 

[deo62]

Ok, I’ll bite. What was in the cooler?

 

[Ziggidy]

Ok, I’ll bite. What was in the cooler?

None of our f***ing business!

 

[El Conquistador]

None of our f***ing business!

But seriously what’s in the cooler?

 

[printcraft]

 

[Cameramonkey]

Do we have to wait until 9:30?

 

[DCR]

> 50 years ago, hiking down to Bloomington I think, a guy picked me up on 67. He had a pipe in the front seat, said he got mugged picking up a hitchhiker, wanted to defend himself next time.
Yep you and I are thinking the exact same thing.

 

[Hatin Since 87]

Ok, I’ll bite. What was in the cooler?

None of your ****ing business!

None of our f***ing business!

Thanks for ruining the punchline!

 

[model1994]

i used to recover so many abandoned/lost coolers at campgrounds & such. sometimes they’d be still full of beer, sometimes fish, sometimes simply trash… well one day at Cutright SRA boat ramp Monroe Lake, after a bass tournament, I found the smallest Yeti cooler and thought, “score!”

only to open it and find someone left a long chocolate hot dog in there. I left the cooler for someone else.

 

[BigBoxaJunk]

I used to work for an environmental testing lab and we collected lots of samples for analysis. Some required secure chain of custody and for those we'd tape the cooler lids with tape marked "Evidence" for transport to the lab. For years after that, I always brought beer to parties in my cooler with evidence tape still on it.

 

[ZurokSlayer7X9]

Not a joke, but kind of a funny story. One time me and some buddies were going to do some shooting out at an uncle's farm. We decided we were going to get all of our tactical/load bearing equipment and do some drills and run our gear. I didn't feel like putting my stuff on there and wanted to see if I could drive with my stuff on. It was nothing special, just an AR500 plate carrier with steel 3+ plates, a few HSGI pouches with six P-Mags, and this was when I had a holster on my chest rather than a hip or drop leg. I was already wearing some old woodland BDU's.

Anyways, I came to a train crossing where the train was about to finish, and there was a hitch hiker next to the crossing. He immediately headed for my truck while I waited for the train. I was considering turning around, but didn't want to risk hitting the guy if he was just an innocent hitch hiker. He tried to open my passenger back door (which failed as I always keep my doors locked), and then shouted "could you please open the effing door!?" He then came to my passenger door and shot me an "oh s**t" look and apologized and wished me a nice day. That was the only time I had seen a hitch hiker.

 

[CindyE]

i used to recover so many abandoned/lost coolers at campgrounds & such. sometimes they’d be still full of beer, sometimes fish, sometimes simply trash… well one day at Cutright SRA boat ramp Monroe Lake, after a bass tournament, I found the smallest Yeti cooler and thought, “score!”

only to open it and find someone left a long chocolate hot dog in there. I left the cooler for someone else.

I think i would have puked...

 

[Ziggidy]

only to open it and find someone left a long chocolate hot dog in there. I left the cooler for someone else.

How do you know it was chocolate?

 

[mkgr22]

How do you know it was chocolate?

None of your ****ing business!

 

[Remington 90T]

Will always help out a hitchhiker -Thats why I conseil carry!

 

[Old Dog]

Only pick up female hitchhikers, they be crazy, but they be FUN.

 

[Cameramonkey]

I know what was in it.

 

[foszoe]

Never again.

On my way home last night, I picked up a hitchhiker. I have never done it before but it was freezing out and he was well dressed, didnt look like your normal hitchhiker.

Anyways. I pull over and he gets in the truck, puts his cooler in the back seat, and adjust the vents to warm up. Made a little small talk but he was pretty short with his remarks so I just kinda kept quiet for a bit. That was probably the worst thing to do, cause then my mind started wandering. Is he a killer? On the run? Rapist? Drug addict? Who the hell did I just pick up? If I get pulled over and this dudes a con, I’m gonna go down for someone i dont even know.

So I start trying to make small talk again. Eventually, I asked him… “whats in the cooler, few beers for the game?” He told me “its none of your ****ing business”. I didnt know if he was joking around and being a goofball, or if he was being a dick. I kinda laughed it off, then my mind started wandering again. This guy could have a human head in there for all i know. So i asked him again “Hey, seriously, whats in your cooler?” This time he sounded more aggrevated and said it where i could tell it wasnt goofing around “its none of your ****ing business”.

I pulled over and told him he needed to get out. I was nice, given his attitude, but told him to get out of the truck. He didnt argue and hopped out. I drove away and got home and immediately told my wife about it.

Go out to the truck to get my stuff out and bring it inside, and not even joking, he left his cooler in the back seat! My wife didnt believe me at first, but after i showed her the cooler he left in the truck she finally understood I wasnt making it up.

The viewership of your thread is really low.

Maybe you should have the mods delete it and try again.

 

[KittySlayer]

I thought it was going to be the classic joke:

I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised that I’d pick up a stranger. He asked “How do you know I’m not a serial killer?”​

I replied, “The chances of two serial killers being in the same car are astronomical.”​

 

[Cameramonkey]

I thought it was going to be the classic joke:

I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised that I’d pick up a stranger. He asked “How do you know I’m not a serial killer?”​

I replied, “The chances of two serial killers being in the same car are astronomical.”​

one of my favorite jokes. second only to another...
A guy is driving down the road. He sees a priest hitchhiking.

So, being a good catholic, he picks him up. They drive a bit further down the highway, when the man then spots a well-known lawyer hitchhiking as well. Remembering that this man represented his ex wife during their divorce, an impulse of anger causes him to aim his car right at the lawyer. He then recalls the priest in his car, and at the last minute, swerves to miss him. The man then turns to the priest and says, "Father, forgive me, I nearly hit that lawyer!"

The Priest responds with, "Don't worry, my son, I got him with the door!"