Girlfriend vs. OCing

[ATM]

Stress to her that most criminals consider the (visibly) armed citizen a deterrence to their criminal activities. By wearing openly you are likely to avert a situation that neither of you want.
Tell her you would much rather she join you for the trip (leaving the choice on her not you.)
Understand that many who are not anti-gun still feel some sense of shame about them and feel the need for everyone to hide them. Help her to find the root of this shame and counter it with reasoning.

I also welcome debate but please, as the OP asked and dburkhead offered, let's do it in another thread.

 

[Stainer]

If I was you, I would take her to the range and get her accustomed to firearms. Try to work her into shooting them and I think she will be more lenient. Not exactly the way I would go about it, but what you could do is send her e-mails every once in a while about someone who was CC'ing and they benefited the situation (ie. taking out the bad guy). My .02 Good Luck!

 

[NateIU10]

Michiana and gglass don't really care what the question is. They just want to insult you for choosing to oc.

QUOTE>>
Girlfriend "All your doing is bringing attention to yourself and it's embarrassing. I am not going with you if your gonna carry your gun."

Me "Baby doll that's why I bought the gun is to carry it"

Girlfriend "I don't care I'm not going with you if you carry"

A minute percentage of gun owners outside carry which should tell you to listen to your girlfriend. I am just confirming what the girlfriend said; she is a very smart young lady. I did answer the question.

Again, a minute percentage of people carry guns at all, so what's your logic to do for that? Not carry at all?

How is that answering my question. I was asking for advise not someone to pretty much call me a jerk. Common decency man.

Some people can't help it

If I was you, I would take her to the range and get her accustomed to firearms. Try to work her into shooting them and I think she will be more lenient. Not exactly the way I would go about it, but what you could do is send her e-mails every once in a while about someone who was CC'ing and they benefited the situation (ie. taking out the bad guy). My .02 Good Luck!

Yes, take her to the range and get her feeling more confident about guns as a whole.

When I first started carrying about a year ago, my girlfriend got her LTCH too. However, she couldn't understand carrying chambered, OCing, or needing to carry when in most public places. It takes time and real talks to get through some things, and this was one of them for me.

 

[Flitmob]

I usually dont say anything about it to a girl or anyone else, but summer is upon us and it is more obvious now then in summer months when it goes under my North Face. I dont think it makes you a jerk, I OC for comfort more than anything else (i have a fobus paddle). Women are mysterious. As a previous post said, if you figure it out let us know!

 

[Joe Williams]

My wife loves to shoot, loves guns, is an ardent supporter of the right to keep and bear arms, but does not like open carry. She doesn't mind "casual carry," like when I'm carrying OWB with a vest that just screams "gun," but she doesn't like open carry. She says whether or not I've got a gun is no one's business but ours.

snip.

Speaking of women being mysterious, it just occurred to me that my wife doesn't want me to OC, but when she sees someone else doing it, she goes "Oh, cool! He's got a gun!"

???? what? How the heck does that work?

Is it possible she just doesn't like revolvers?

 

[nalees]

Open channel of communication is your best friend here. If any relationship is going to work, it's gotta have open communication. Like you said, you're going to have to sit down with her and come to an agreement. That means you need to be willing to take her feelings into consideration and she has to be willling to take yours into consideration. Don't go into the conversation with the expectation that you're going to get your way or the "highway".

I imagine this is something that will take some time. I talked to my girlfriend, who then became my fiancee, who is know my wife about guns and possibly owning them someday for many months before actually buying our first handgun/shotgun. By the time the $$$ was there, we had long agreed on what the rules/expectations were for owning and carrying them.

 

[blhawk1077]

Why is OC such a big deal to people? I would be more afraid of someone being sneaky and CC than someone who doesn't care if everyone knows they have a gun. If you are a law abiding citizen and the law protects your right to carry then to me it is no big deal. I don't care what anybody else thinks and maybe that is the problem some people have now days.

 

[Michiana]

Read my lips

Again, a minute percentage of people carry guns at all, so what's your logic to do for that? Not carry at all?

Nate, there you go again twisting what I said. I have always said if someone wants to open carry that is their right and go right ahead but personally I join the vast majority of gun owners who do not make a habit of doing so. He was asking what to do as his girlfriend did not want to go out with him when he had a gun strapped to his hip. I don't blame her, all he is doing is bringing attention to himself and her, not all positive. The vast majority of gun owners who carry do so concealed. I suggested getting a smaller gun and carry it concealed so she feels comfortable. The problem is not her, she is reacting like most people would in that situation.

 

[Mauser-K98]

Guns are like gays in the military. You know they are there, you just don't want to see them out in the open! lol

 

[cce1302]

Speaking of women being mysterious, it just occurred to me that my wife doesn't want me to OC, but when she sees someone else doing it, she goes "Oh, cool! He's got a gun!"

???? what? How the heck does that work?

Is it possible she just doesn't like revolvers?

That may be grounds for divorce!!

First time my wife saw me OCing, she was like "you know your gun is totally obvious?"
I said, "yeah, I'm open carrying."
She said "oh." end of discussion. She's cool.
<--where did this guy come from?

 

[dburkhead]

My answer to the OP's question:

You have to assess something. Is her objection simply a response due to unfamiliarity (which can easily cause fear) with firearms and the idea of carrying, or is it symptomatic of something deeper (philosophical objections to firearms, to the idea of self defense, that sort of thing).

I know you say you "love her to death" but despite what Hollywood and romance novels would have you believe, that is not enough to make a true, lasting relationship. Serious differences over strongly held core beliefs (whether it's the liberty aspect of firearms ownership, whether or not lethal self defense is "as bad as" the original assault, or what have you), unless resolved will (not "can," not "might," "will") lead to either an unhappy relationship or a broken one. If such issues are not resolvable to your mutual satisfaction, it's better to find out early when it's less painful to end up going your separate ways.

So you need to find what's at the heart of her objection. If it's just a knee-jerk response based on unfamiliarity and inexperience, you can work with that. If it's symptomatic of something deeper, you may need to decide to break it off and look elsewhere for a girlfriend.

I'm sorry if that's not what you want to hear, but that's how I see it.

Despite my potentially dire warnings, I do hope things work out for you. BTW, I haven't given you my standard advice for people in relationships that they are thinking might be long term: take the time to do unpleasant tasks together, the more unpleasant the better. If you do end up staying together, you'll have to do those kinds of things anyway. Better to see how you each handle them early. The big mistake many young (in terms of the age of the relationship) couples make is only doing "fun" stuff--"dates." It presents a one-sided view of one's potential partner and leads to rude awakenings when the masks finally come off.

 

[Rattlesnake46319]

Dump her.

 

[bwframe]

Dump her.

I only CC. What's she look like? Got a pic?
Pic of her bass boat?

 

[Turtle]

People who know me well prefer I carry my gun. They feel safer when im around. Give her time!

 

[mikea46996]

WOW...... Hey Doc how did you start an OC vs. CC thread..... LMAO

I know that's not your question and the way I see to each their own.

You need to get her interested in guns.... That's the only solution I can come up with.

Take her to the range start her off with a .22 set up ballons and clays so it is more fun for her then punching holes in paper. Give it time....

You might consider CC for a while until she switches sides...

Good Luck Buddy..

 

[BLuegrass Holsters]

WOW...... Hey Doc how did you start an OC vs. CC thread..... LMAO

I know that's not your question and the way I see to each their own.

You need to get her interested in guns.... That's the only solution I can come up with.

Take her to the range start her off with a .22 set up ballons and clays so it is more fun for her then punching holes in paper. Give it time....

You might consider CC for a while until she switches sides...

Good Luck Buddy..

Some good points....

You might also invite her for dinner and tell her that you want to share some history. Do your research into what the founders thought of firearms and the citizens who held them, find out why the founders held their specific beliefs, and finally, share with her your beliefs.

I'll share one of mine...I RARELY open carry....not because I do not support it, but because it really is not necessary in most cases. I won't get into a flame war because of my opinion because it is just that, but if you are going to support your desire to carry based on founding principles and the beliefs of the founders, you will not find anything that begs one way or the other...simply having and carrying is more important than "making a statement" by open carry....

Gentle conversion of ideas and ideals is better than "in-your-face" I can do it because I can idealism. My preference is to surprise folks that I am carrying, typically more than one firearm at a time, and then spend the time in peaceful education while not being interrupted by hysterical screams, calls to 911, and the occasional prone position at the end of the LEO's gun!

Of course, you can still have fun concealed, too! Like the time I was stopped in Louisville and asked for my license. I advised the officer that I was armed since I didn't want to reach for my licenses without warning him that I was wearing a firearm just above my left rear pocket. The couple sentences should have been scribed in marble and memorialized as he calmly asked where the firearm was located....to which I replied "which one? I have one on each hip, and one in an ankle holster! Oh, and I have a shotgun in the back!" I was a few blocks from my retired FBI buddy's house who was joining me for shooting....not sure he stopped laughing all the way to the range!

 

[KDUBCR250]

Im not going to name any names but somepeople need to lighten up on the OP and stop giving him sh!t on how to carry . Let him carry however he sees fit !

 

[agentl074]

I wear the Sigpro .40 for the warmer weather and full size G20 for winter due to the concealment factor. It is sometimes better to conceal - especially when with the significant other .

 

[Goodcat]

Im not going to name any names but somepeople need to lighten up on the OP and stop giving him sh!t on how to carry . Let him carry however he sees fit !

I carry my p32 in my neck brace. what!?

 

[Zoub]

Man this has nothing to do with ditching gun or girl. I'm not planning on ditching either of them. I can't live without either of them.............

Tell us more about her. You know details.............maybe some pics. Some of the GF too.

Seriously, you have a huge problem. You are emotionally attached to a woman with whom you may have huge fundemental diffferences in values. Stress may, it is for you to find out. You won't get the answer here.

Since most of our values are set by about age 9, the two of you likely have some real problems coming. You already gave yourself the best advice possible, sit down and discuss it but guess what, neither of you will move off your values and morales.

So if the compromise is simply to CC, then do it. You sprung this on her, not the other way around. She will either adjust or dump your ass or you will give up your God given right to carry.

We could go on and on here, but really you are the dumbass, the guy always is, it is not about OC vs CC. Join EHarmony and post that you are into guns so they know upfront. How on earth could you date more than a day and have her not know this? What the hell do you guys talk about?!