RIP Chewy
I feel your pain. Two weeks before Christmas 2014 our little Whippet, Goldie, passed away at 17. She was 23 lbs of lightning speed, with a perfect temperament for a family pet. This is her the night before she passed;
We swore we'd wait at least 6 months before even considering another dog, but two days after Christmas, we rescued a 1 year old Boxer-Pit mix named Jilly. She's a 70 lb monster that's unbelievably strong, smart and sweet. She loves to ride in the truck with me and she will chew the crap out of any piece of firewood she can get her huge jaw on (but in the house, she's never had an accident and doesn't chew anything she's not supposed to). She much prefers though to lay on the couch, watching TV and snoring like an old man. But if the doorbell rings, she's a guided, barking missile, aiming for the front door to protect us.
12 years ago my wife thought it would be a great idea to get one of those rescue dogs. At first I was on board. I mean I can see myself with a majestic shepherd or a loyal lab. But when she came home with this 12 pound lil chihuahua, well I was out. I told her that it was "her" dog. After all, you can't expect a manly man to walk around holding a purse that poops! I mean yeah it would sit on my lap every so often. And of course I would feed it bits of my ham sammiches. That didn't mean I liked it. And so what if I sometime took the lil SOB to PetSmart to buy it a toy or two. That doesn't mean anything. I spent the last 12 years telling myself that Chewy was her dog. That it was just in my way, that's why I would hold him, cause he was always under my feet. When he started getting old sure I bought him a doggy carriage to push him around in. Doesn't mean a damn thing. Until tonight. When we found him snuggled under his favorite blanket, not moving. Not breathing. Not being that lil pain in my ass. Everything changed. Somehow I lost my dog, somehow I lost my buddy. My wife is devastated. I drove all night to our Michigan house to bury Chewy in the back yard. I'm not sure how it happens. How this stupid little dog that I really didn't want, how it ended up snuggled in my heart. I don't cry much, but tonight I had a good one. That stupid little dog is going to be missed. RIP Chewy.
You have my deepest sympathy I know what it feels like. I first saw this posted here a few years ago by iirc BoR.