Random Sayings, Funny Phrases, and other Audible Oddities

[two70]

S*** fire and save the matches!
Out where the hoot owls f*** the chicken hawks and no one gives a s***!
Looks like two monkeys f***ing a football!
I've been to 3 county fairs and a hog f***ing and I've never seen anything like that!
Where are we going? Up a hog's a** to get a load of bacon.
In a breakfast of bacon and eggs, the chicken participates but the hog is committed.

 

[Wolfhound]

“God willing and the creek don’t rise”

“Good gravy” -often used in place of “good grief” or “good Lord”.

“ Squirrelly gigging” -used instead of tomfoolery or horse play.

 

[hoosierdaddy1976]

Wish in one hand and **** in the other.

I say "f***adoodles" 50 times a day when upset or getting ready to start a task. When I was a teenager, q friend of mine complained I said **** too much, so I added the ending so it doesn't sound as harsh. If the kids are around, it becomes "fudgesicles".

Years ago I worked with a young lady who would describe having too much to drink as being pixelated.

 

[rob63]

She's so hot I would drink her bath water.

She must wear space panties 'cause her *ss is out of this world.

He couldn't pour p*** out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.

Between the two of them they make one complete idiot.

Somewhere a village is missing its idiot.

 

[woowoo2]

" His cornbread is not quite done in the middle"

 

[chezuki]

Motorcycle is pronounced motor-sickle in Southern Indiana.

"You don't know duck **** from apple butter" is a classic.

How do you pronounce “bicycle”?

 

[edporch]

"He's not quite mentally efficient", a old fashioned polite way of referring to somebody as a dumb*ss my late parents (born 1908 and 1914) used. LOL

 

[chezuki]

The wife’s side is a little country.

Her grandma (in response to anything she didn’t agree with): “You can **** and fall back in it!”

 

[jason867]

Or a one legged man in a butt kicking contest.

In my day, the principal was the meanest sum-**** God ever put on one leg. He'd lean on a desk with both hands, and swing his leg at ya! Then, when you were standing there shocked that a one-legged man had kicked ya...he'd bite ya!

-- Cotton Hill

 

[indyartisan]

Just experienced this at work-
“A dime holding up a dollar”

 

[snapping turtle]

Just experienced this at work-
“A dime holding up a dollar”

Everyday this can be true.

 

[tjh88]

If my aunt had b@!!$ she'd be my uncle

My late mother, born 1914, used to say "And if the dog hadn't stopped to pee, he would've caught the rabbit!".
Said often in response to me as a kid when I tried using the "if only..." excuse for not getting something done. LOL :-)

My response to the if people: If my aunt had b@!!$ she'd be my uncle

 

[Michigan Slim]

Having you around is like losing two good men
**** the bed.

 

[Indyhd]

My dad when looking at some of our coworkers, " to be any dumber he'd have to be twins."

happier than a tall dog in a meat packing plant.

makes as much sense as a screen door on a submarine.

About as usefull as windshied wipers on a ducks a**.

 

[Bill2905]

I knew a funny guy many years ago who would say "that's close enough for the kind of girls we go out with" whenever we would finish a task.

 

[KellyinAvon]

How do you pronounce “bicycle”?

Correctly

 

[DoggyDaddy]

Motorcycle is pronounced motor-sickle in Southern Indiana.

Was Arlo Guthrie from Southern Indiana?

 

[Magyars]

Dumber than a box of rocks.

 

[Cozy439]

"Looks like two bulldogs fightin in a gunny sack" looking at the backside of a young lady walking away.

"she was built like a burlap bag full of bobcats, she had it together..." CW McCall song

 

[Cozy439]

Quote:
I've been to 3 county fairs and a hog f***ing and I've never seen anything like that! Reply:

The version I am familiar with is similar but goes back to the OPs "all hat, no cattle" and is used for someone claiming more (fill in the blank/anything) about experiences, possessions, accomplishments, etc (The BS'er) "He has been around the world and to 2 county fairs, he has seen everything but the wind & ridden everything but an electric chair, and he has the t-shirts to prove it.