Military BS Stories or the last liar wins.

[Squid556]

I think that actually beats newbie Fuels (POL) troops collecting exhaust samples in Mason jars from the refueling trucks. Yes, there were pictures.

My old lead petty officer was On the Roosevelt. He said they had a guy give a fresh airman an empty inflated black trash bag with the phrase "A1R" written on the side off to get tested.

Said this kid was walking around the ship most of a morning bouncing from department to department with a bag of A1R sample to get tested.

The fun ran out when some half whit sent him to the XOs office with said bag of A1R sample.

 

[Nazgul]

Sort of a Military BS story. After retiring I was a High School aide/teacher, ran their In School Suspension class. I have posted about this before.

Put all the flags from each service on the hallway outside my room, the USMC flag was prominently displayed. Another teacher was a recent Army vet, tanks in Iraq/Afghanistan. He is very good with the specials needs students. There was a lot of ongoing banter between us. Saw him last night at a basketball game.

I had to sub in his room one day and changed all the computer wallpapers to the USMC Eagle Globe and Anchor. When he returned he was suitably irritated so it was a success. The icing on the cake was 2 days later when he came to my room and wanted me to go change them back because he couldn't figure it out.

Don

 

[2A_Tom]

Very believable. My neighbor in Norfolk was a submariner and he wouldn't say anything at all about those subs even tho we both were on the same base. Even now that we both are out he won't even tell me a thing about them. Sub guys are a breed all their own.

And they say we paratroopers are crazy.

Actually when I was young I thought about subs or UDT as what I wanted to do.

 

[KellyinAvon]

Very believable. My neighbor in Norfolk was a submariner and he wouldn't say anything at all about those subs even tho we both were on the same base. Even now that we both are out he won't even tell me a thing about them. Sub guys are a breed all their own.

Exhibit A: @actaeon277

 

[actaeon277]

Exhibit A: @actaeon277

Nah.
I'm the normal one of the group

 

[Chewie]

Nah.
I'm the normal one of the group

Now that is seriously funny!!!!!

 

[Magyars]

Great Lakes, USN boot, June 1975.
The shah of Iran was still in power. For some unknown reason to us boots the Shah had sent a company of Naval officers to Great Lakes. Man, these guys could march..,but as far as we could tell they never bathed ( but that's a different story )
The word on the base was that these officers were the second/third sons of royal families.
We were told that if they stepped out of line for any reason they were immediately sent back to Iran and executed....always wondered if that was true.

 

[Alamo]

Great Lakes, USN boot, June 1975.
The shah of Iran was still in power. For some unknown reason to us boots the Shah had sent a company of Naval officers to Great Lakes. Man, these guys could march..,but as far as we could tell they never bathed ( but that's a different story )
The word on the base was that these officers were the second/third sons of royal families.
We were told that if they stepped out of line for any reason they were immediately sent back to Iran and executed....always wondered if that was true.

My AFROTC commander was an F-4 Vietnam pilot, and an Aggie to boot. He told us that one of his assignments was as an instructor training pilots for Iran. He also mentioned that being sent back to Iran having failed pilot training was definitely NOT career enhancing, so they worked extra hard with anyone having trouble. My commander had one who was just not catching on very well and he it took a lot of extra time to get him thru. Finally he “passed” and went back to Iran. Commander said he later heard that on this guy’s first flight in Iran he landed gear up.

When I was in NATO AWACS, we had Turkish personnel. The official base language was English, and the turks had a little problem with this sometimes, it’s a bigger jump from Turkish to English than from German to English. One of my buddies was an instructor navigator. He said he was going over how Turkish student was doing with the Turkish Senior National Representative (senior Turkish officer on base) my buddy told him that the student was doing well, just a bit slower than the others because of the language difficulty. The SNR said “you must hit him.“ My buddy said “what?“ The SNR said “you must hit him hard. Then he will understand.”

Things work differently in other countries.

 

[Alamo]

… the standard issue glow belt … had to be recharged in the dormitory microwaves.

lol, that’s a good one.

on the block 20/25 E3A AWACS The computer had to be loaded from 800 bit per inch tapes. These were old technology, even then, but they were rugged enough to be flight worthy, so that’s what we used. It took several tapes to get the computer loading up and going, and then there were always back up copies in case the first that didn’t work. Sometimes it took a couple tries to get a successful, complete load of the airborne operational computer program and all the data - the tape drives were a bit fussy sometimes

Once the CDMT (the computer operator that flew on the plane) got it going, he often wanted to use the same exact tapes the next time he flew.

This was a pain in the ass for ground computer operators who maintained the library of tapes (and there were thousands of tapes in the library.). For one thing they made up the tape kit in advance, and it was made according to so many types from Type A, so many from type, B, etc., and they didn’t want to re-do the whole kit just to find a few specific tapes.

So they would tell CDMT that they couldn’t use the same tapes every time because of “bit sag.” they would tell him that the tapes had to be rotated into use in order, because if they hung on the tape rack too long, all the bits would slide around to the bottom and pile up, and ruin the tape.

 

[yeahbaby]

In 1976 I was stationed at Offutt AFB in Omaha Nebraska. At that time it was HQ for the then called Strategic Air Command (SAC). There were officers and generals from all over the world there. Walking around the base it felt like you were constantly saluting. I had a top secret SBI (sensitive background investigation) clearance. Had the opportunity to work in the underground command post. Pretty interesting stuff going on down there.

 

[Nazgul]

Nah.
I'm the normal one of the group

Still living in a dream world are you???

Don

 

[Nazgul]

Great Lakes, USN boot, June 1975.
The shah of Iran was still in power. For some unknown reason to us boots the Shah had sent a company of Naval officers to Great Lakes. Man, these guys could march..,but as far as we could tell they never bathed ( but that's a different story )
The word on the base was that these officers were the second/third sons of royal families.
We were told that if they stepped out of line for any reason they were immediately sent back to Iran and executed....always wondered if that was true.

1977 got selected for an officer program, was a SGT at the time. Went to San Diego for 3 months prior to going back to finish a degree. We had regular classes with college prof's who were on active duty for the summer getting us ready for higher level classes.
There were a bunch of Iranian pilot/Nav students on a nearby base for some reason. Used to see them in the pay office cashing checks. They would be handed thousands of dollars cash at a time. My SGT pay was by no means extravagant .

Don

 

[2A_Tom]

Nah.
I'm the normal one of the group

Now that is seriously funny!!!!!

Still living in a dream world are you???

Don

What group would that be?

 

[SnoopLoggyDog]

 

[Nazgul]

 

[DCR]

My Navy dad used to say they'd send a newbie below to get a bucket of steam.

 

[Brad69]

Lots of good stuff to send them for.

Shoulder holster for a M2

Batteries for a P.R.I.C.K. E-7

Have them take a exhaust sample with a trash bag over the exhaust pipe.

 

[2A_Tom]

Canopy light.

 

[Nick!]

Don’t forget about the batteries for the range fans or keys to the drop zone.

The post regarding the Iranian pilots jogged a memory of mine. I was an Armor Officer at Ft Knox in the late 90s going through OBC. We had a tank full of Saudi Arabian officers and it was the same story …”they’re royals, they’re here to punch their ticket, don’t mess with them, they pass the course, who cares if they launch a sabot round towards Louisville…” You get the idea.

It came time for our two week field exercise and they hopped out of the deuce and half and everybody’s bags were in a pile on the ground. This Saudi captain says “who’s gonna carry my bags to my tank?” One of my fellow LTs says “you are, you fat lazy F’er” so he gets mad and tells the class leader we were being disrespectful. Blah blah blah…few days go by and one morning that same crybaby captain is complaining about having to do maintenance on his M1. One of the prior service guys tells the captain to get a piece of colored chalk and test the armor for soft spots. When he finds a soft spot, mark it with an X. By the time maintenance was finished, this numbnuts had his entire tank covered with pink chalk X’s and he tells the OC/T that his tank is defective and he needs a new one. Of course within minutes of this, the Squadron Commander and Regimental Commander both arrive to check on our “distinguished guests” and how their training is progressing. The remaining time we had in training did not go well for us because of that…but it was worth it.

 

[actaeon277]

Good thing Nuke Engineering was NoForN (No Foreign Nationals)

I just had to deal with American Officers taking tours.
Apparently our officers didn't know the Reactor Compartment, or Machinery Spaces very well.
So the watchstander (many times me) got to point things out.