INGO: Joke of the day page

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  • MRockwell

    Just Me
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    Oct 4, 2010
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    There was once a snail who paid 300 grand to buy a '72 Hemi Challenger in original and mint condition. He took it to a custom paint shop and told them to paint a large "S" on the side. The shop said "Man, you sure you want to do that to a mint '72 Challenger that is all original? You're gonna kill the value!" The snail replied, "Yep. When I go flying down the street I want people to stare and say 'Man, look at the S car go!' "
     
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    Dec 5, 2008
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    Terre Haute

    Calling the Vet


    A dog lover, whose female dog was in heat, agreed to look after her neighbor’s male dog while the neighbor was on vacation.
    She had a large house and believed that she could keep the two dogs apart.
    As she was drifting off to sleep late that night she heard awful howling and moaning sounds. She rushed downstairs and found the dogs passionately locked together.
    Despite her best attempts she was unable to separate them. She called her vet and explained the problem to him.
    Annoyed, the vet said, “Hang up the phone and place it on the floor alongside the dogs. I will call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and you will be able to separate them.”
    “Do you really think that will work?” she asked.
    “Just worked for me.”
     

    MRockwell

    Just Me
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    Oct 4, 2010
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    Noblesfield
    Just a reminder to be careful when telling jokes that may be offensive.
    A few days ago I was talking to some friends, and friends of those friends, at a bar. I decided to break the ice with the new friends with a few jokes, most of which went down very well…until I decided to tell a few more offensive ones…and picked
    the worst possible one to start with.
    Here's the joke I told:
    "What do you do if you see an epileptic having a fit in the bath?”
    “Throw in your laundry”
    One of the new friends instantly became enraged and swung for me. When I asked him what the heck his problem was he replied that his younger brother was
    epileptic and died in the bath many years ago.
    Obviously, I felt mortified as I didn't know about it, and said "I'm so sorry to hear that. Did he drown?"
    "No," replied the guy. "He choked on a sock."
     

    MRockwell

    Just Me
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    Oct 4, 2010
    2,835
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    Noblesfield
    My dentist reminded me about my wife's
    sensitive gag reflex.
    We laughed and joked about it for a while.
    Then I remembered me and my wife have different dentists.
     
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