ENGINEERS!

[Indy_Guy_77]

I'm not an engineer, I just play one on TV.

Geotechnical engineering.

I look at dirt.

I bet you just LOVE yourself some blow counts...

N values! refusal!

Dynamic Cone Penetrometer! (You ever use one of those?)

Hollow Stem Auger! Split Spoons!

8.5'-10' = Light brown, moist, medium stiff silty loam w/ trace organics. 3-4-5. N=9.

Please please please tell me that you work for INDOT....pretty please...

 

[rhino]

When I was an undergrad, many of my ME buddies spent much of their "free" time in the machine shop and auto shop. Some of them grew up working on cars and trucks or on the farm and their mechanical skills were impressive. This is one of the reasons why I am amused when people assert that all engineers are stupid.

I did well in the more "mechanical" aspects of the curriculum like machine dynamics, but my interests were more with fluid dynamics, thermodynamics, and heat transfer as well as chemistry. When I was in grad school, I was in the combustion research group at UC Berkeley. Initially I studied combustion flow instabilities in ramjet engines (so I was actually a rocket scientist!), then after escaping (temporarily) a d-bag major professor, switched to studying the measurement of carbon particulate formation in pool fire flames.

I think working in a factory when I was an undergrad doing everything from mopping floors to measuring polymer melt flow indexes, to helping assemble tooling and trouble-shoot machine failures helped me when I did mechanical design work in grad school. When I needed something fabricated, I made detailed drawings complete with reasonable tolerances, and the guys in the lab's machine shop frequently complimented me on my work and how much easier it was to work from my drawings than the other students' and professors'. This was in a time when CAD was in its infancy and I did all of my work on the board with mechanical pencil and T-square!

I never did learn CAD, which is probably a good part of the reason why I became unemployable as an engineer. Given how the CAD design and analysis tools are so nicely integrated now, it's a double shame!

At Rose, they stressed communication at least as much as they did the core curriculum and I took this seriously. It doesn't matter how smart you are or what you know if you can't communicate to your audience effectively. That goes for speaking, writing, design, and mathematics equally.

 

[Mr. Habib]

Any of you engineer types hiring? My position at IU is going away by the end of the year. Bachelor's degree in Automated Manufacturing Technology. Thirty years of industrial maintenance experience with a background in automation and instrumentation with the last ten years in a medical device manufacturing environment. Hoping to find something within commuting distance of Bloomington.

 

[GodFearinGunTotin]

Any of you engineer types hiring? My position at IU is going away by the end of the year. Bachelor's degree in Automated Manufacturing Technology. Thirty years of industrial maintenance experience with a background in automation and instrumentation with the last ten years in a medical device manufacturing environment. Hoping to find something within commuting distance of Bloomington.

Check your PM's here in a second.

 

[BrownDog]

Wentworth Institute of Technology...Class of 1979 Architectural Engineering Technology

 

[CountryBoy19]

I love hanging out with them because it's the one group in which I feel like I can more than hold my own socially.

Haha, I'm trying to figure out if that's a compliment or not... I'm too socially inept to figure out your intent with that statement... lol

 

[TheUziButton]

By the way did I tell you the difference between an Extroverted engineer and an Introverted engineer?

I haven't heard this one. Do tell! ;-)
Who here knows the difference between a mechanical engineer and a civil engineer?

 

[chipbennett]

Three engineering students were gathered together discussing who must have designed the human body.
One said, "It was a mechanical engineer. Just look at all the joints."
Another said, "No, it was an electrical engineer. The nervous system has many thousands of electrical connections."
The last one said, "No, actually it had to have been a civil engineer. Who else would run a toxic waste pipeline through a recreational area?"

 

[chipbennett]

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The first engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway."

 

[chipbennett]

An engineer was crossing a road one day, when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you for one week and do ANYTHING you want."
Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girlfriend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."

 

[chipbennett]

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

 

[Lectric102002]

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those guys? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!"
The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!"
The priest said, "Here comes the green-keeper. Let's have a word with him."
He said, "Hello George, what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"
The green-keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."
The group fell silent for a moment.
The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."
The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for them."
The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

That's the best one !

 

[rhino]

An engineer, a physicist, and a mathematician are given a problem solving test. They're staged in a hallway near a closed door.

Going first, the engineer opens the door and sees a water faucet, a trash can, and a fire. He enters the room, fills the trash can with water, and douses the flames. When he emerges from the room, he says, "Problem solved."

The physicist opens the door, sees the water faucet, trash can, and the fire. He enters the room, fills the trash can with water, and places the water-filled can next to the flames. When he emerges from the room, he says, "The solution is left to the reader."

The mathematician opens the door, sees the water faucet, trash can, and the fire. He then closes the door without entering, turns, and says, "The solution exists."

 

[nickf2005]

BSACET
Indiana State University 2009

For all you not in the "know"... Automation and Controls Engineering Technology. Changed the program from Computer Integrated Manufacturing Technology.

I went from Process/Tooling Engineer (plant) to Product Engineer (plant - glorified project manager) to Advanced Manufacturing Engineer (corporate).

I'm proud to say that I work for one of the top plumbing fixture companies in the US.

 

[Lectric102002]

BSACET
Indiana State University 2009

For all you not in the "know"... Automation and Controls Engineering Technology. Changed the program from Computer Integrated Manufacturing Technology.

I went from Process/Tooling Engineer (plant) to Product Engineer (plant - glorified project manager) to Advanced Manufacturing Engineer (corporate).

I'm proud to say that I work for one of the top plumbing fixture companies in the US.

Kohler ? American Standard ? Toto ? (oh wait, they aren't American).

 

[chipbennett]

That's the best one !

That's my favorite, as well.

 

[rhino]

How do you drive an engineer crazy?

Unfold a new map, refold it incorrectly, and walk away.

 

[nickf2005]

Kohler ? American Standard ? Toto ? (oh wait, they aren't American).

Let's just say that this site's ranking is pretty well spot-on. I didn't want to say "THE TOP" and sound biased.

How do you drive an engineer crazy?

Unfold a new map, refold it incorrectly, and walk away.

My eye is twitching.

 

[BigBoxaJunk]

How do you drive an engineer crazy?

Unfold a new map, refold it incorrectly, and walk away.

Whenever I go to talk to the engineer in my group, If he's not in his cubicle, I rearrange things on his shelf........just slightly.

He always comes looking for me.

 

[Tactically Fat]

How do you drive an engineer crazy?

Unfold a new map, refold it incorrectly, and walk away.

Not just engineers!

I get twitchy when the silverware basket in the dishwasher isn't filled "right". It's a six-bay dealio. There must be one piece per bay before putting +1 in a bay. Yes, I do rearrange it.