Disconnected/ outa touch

[Karl-just-Karl]

@55fairlane...

I think I get you man. We are similar in several ways. I'm not certain that was what you are looking for, but I appreciate the affirmation that I am not completely nuts in my own way.

One of my favorite hobbies is stained glass. It is very detail oriented and I can easily put hundreds of hours into a piece. The process itself is a meditation. It is a product of craftmanship.

Society at large has grown stupid and violent. Too easily insulted and triggered. Completely self-absorbed and ego centric.

I've expressed my loner lifestyle (probably just another self-absorbed person) here before only to receive well-wishing over my mental health, so I'll try to avoid that road again.

My approach is that as long as I am contented and physically able to do the things I want I am free to pursue my personal relationship with God and everything else is secular, impermanent and unimportant.

Being out of touch is a goal. My awareness of the world-at-large is compelled by a desire for situational awareness not for participation.

I am about to embark on two weeks + of vacation. I will probably visit with my brother three times during this timeframe. There will probably be three trips for range-time. I might have a visit from my nephew and his wife. I anticipate at least two "Merry Christmas" texts. It is the holidays after all. Man, is my social schedule packed!

During this time I will question my sanity, refocus on what is important and appreciate the blessings I have been given.

 

[Leo]

At one time I stopped saying Instrumentation and just started saying I work in a factory. No, I cannot fix your kids trombone.

 

[MCgrease08]

A few things stood out to me from the OP. This is coming purely from a place of observation and outside perspective and not criticism or judgement.

First, I get the frustration about people. A lot of them do suck and they're hard to be around. But certainly not all. Based on the specific activities or topics raised by the OP (not liking football, lawns, racing, hobbies, being a tool and die maker), it feels like some of the dismissive comments may be coming from either one particular person or a handful of people. I could see how.negative comments from a family member or coworker could get frustrating over time, but there are plenty of folks out there that would connect with you on at least one of those topics.

I agree with FMJ's post above about meeting people halfway. Sometimes you have to give them a little more context to work with.

The other thing that really stood out was the comment about slipping out after church without talking to anyone. This one struck me, because I have always been pretty similar. I.used to be a 'get what you need from the sermon and leave' kind of guy. But I really started growing more patience and love for people when I decided to get plugged into my church and started serving others. I've gone through a few small groups and have signed up to serve on Sundays as an usher from time to time. I also enjoy doing community outreach projects. It gives me a chance to see how others live, make a difference for someone, and that's rewarding.

It all boils down to whether or not you have a desire to be around people. I'm pretty extroverted, so I enjoy the interaction with others. You might not. But we all need a good social circle of people around us to do life with, even if it's not a big group. But having the support of other people goes a long way.

9 Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed.
10 If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble.
11 Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone?
12 A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NLT)

 

[NHT3]

Let me condense this.. You find most of the people you interact with aren't intelligent enough to understand you or what you enjoy? I've found that those that spend hours manicuring their lawn or worshiping the pointy, or bouncy balls are not my cup of tea also. A huge percentage of our population goes through life doing things in hopes that someone they don't know will envy them. It's a strange world me live in and getting stranger all the time.

 

[jamil]

They look like ****, but you know what, I don't care.

That’s rare. Most lawn snobs I’ve encountered are assholes about it. One guy who takes great pride in not leaving one blade of grass out of place bragged that he can tell a lot about the character of people who don’t take care of their lawns. I’m like, hold on there. People prioritize their time in different ways.

This guy takes his car to jiffy-lube and pays snot nose brats $130 to change his oil. I assume because he’d rather spend time on his lawn. That’s fine. For him. I’d rather use my time to maintain my vehicles myself than to pay someone else to do it. I could assume all kinds of things about his character because he doesn’t or can’t maintain maintain his own cars. But that would just be me projecting.

 

[gregkl]

Yep, I feel your pain. I'm not a lawn worshipper, can't stand most sports and work in an IT/IT related field. On top of that I've always been socially awkward, so yeah, not the best combination...

I have no evidence of you being socially awkward.

 

[gregkl]

I have always been somewhat of a loner. I wondered the woods as a kid alone with a fishing pole or shot gun.
The one hobby I enjoyed the most was as an adult is racing sail boats, it can be all like size class boats in a race or there is a handicap formula to race unlike sizes against each other. Just you against the wind.

I also shoot often, at Martinsville SCC, again its in the woods and I go by myself.

Being disconnected somewhat is ok with me also.

Me too. I'm there most Sunday mornings. Not many there at that time. Sometimes no one this time of year.

 

[oze]

Never said hate. For most people lawn is not a hobby if it is I accept the wasted time and resources. For MOST it is a matter of social acceptance and or keeping up with the Jones.

And also to make matters worse…… some will complain about declining pollinator numbers…… or “global warming” just to kill off pollinators and burn fossil fuels maintaining said lawn.

Mrs. oze is a Master Gardner, so we've worked out a compromise: gardens are hers, lawn is mine. Since I have virtually no clover in my lawn, no pollinators are interested in it. She is on a mission to eliminate all non-native plants on our property and replace them with natives. To my eye, some look nice, some look like construction weeds. She has incorporated plants to attract pollinators, and I haven't seen so many bees: honey, bumble, green and others in decades. She's also educated me on pollinators, including some flies, mosquitoes and wasps.

No Jonses in my neighborhood, but I sometimes wish there were. Healthy competition would be fun.

 

[GodFearinGunTotin]

I’d rather use my time to maintain my vehicles myself than to pay someone else to do it. I could assume all kinds of things about his character because he doesn’t or can’t maintain maintain his own cars. But that would just be me projecting.

Yep. I’m an introvert, so by my nature I tend to avoid people I don’t know very well by nature. If I physically can, I’d rather do the work my self. It killed me to admit this summer when it was time to get the roof replaced, I was going to have to hire someone. The idea of falling from 2 stories and working on a 45 degree roof convinced my wife what we were going to do.

I’ve got a bit of acreage and I’d rather spend time keeping it up than watching almost anything on TV, the movies, pro-sports (of any kind). I couldn’t tell you who’s hot in the pop culture world now and don’t care to know in the least.

My idea of fun this fall has been clearing over grown fence rows. I have grown to really relish the throwing of clumps of briars, wild multifloral roses, (anything with a thorn) on a raging pile of burning brush. Now that is satisfaction.

 

[cg21]

Mrs. oze is a Master Gardner, so we've worked out a compromise: gardens are hers, lawn is mine. Since I have virtually no clover in my lawn, no pollinators are interested in it. She is on a mission to eliminate all non-native plants on our property and replace them with natives. To my eye, some look nice, some look like construction weeds. She has incorporated plants to attract pollinators, and I haven't seen so many bees: honey, bumble, green and others in decades. She's also educated me on pollinators, including some flies, mosquitoes and wasps.

No Jonses in my neighborhood, but I sometimes wish there were. Healthy competition would be fun.

Seems you have a healthy balance and are not who I would be referring to. There is nothing that deals in absolutes and there are always exceptions.

 

[jamil]

Let start by saying I'm really ok with being disconnected/ outa touch, just every now and again I need to hear from others to make me not feel so isolated .

Ok here we go......I avoid talking to most people.....

I try to slip out of church without talking to anyone, because I honestly dislike football and the people who worship the game. I hate having to defend myself because I don't like football. Im just and idiot in there world,, but I can change my own (flat)tire with out having to call road side assistance , but I'm the idiot just ask.

I try hard to avoid answering the question of "so you raced cars?" After answering yes, I raced alcohol funny cars, the blank looks are in full force, then I get asked "you didn't drive a "stocker" on the dirt?" I answer, no I drove alcohol funny cars (and a couple JR fuel cars) my best guess is these None of these people could understand mechanical fuel injection, and aren't impressed with someone who can do the math behind the fuel curve in his head. But I'm an idiot just ask

I honestly have no idea who "so & so" is I don't follow pop culture, I don't watch much TV, I don't listen to a lot of music. I don't care about over payed actors/ actress and what they think about anything thing. There so important, they play dress up and pretend to be important. I do know current events that will impact our lives and I'm prepared for it,, but im stupid just ask.

I don't worship my lawn like my neighbors do. These people are insane, from sun up to sun down (unless football is on the TV) there out worshipping there lawn. Mowing 4 times a week, trimming the bushes, propping up the flowers ect....but I have to hear how if I just would stop working on race cars, and mow my grass every day, how much better my life would be.

I avoid talking about my hobby of building model engines, no one can fathom. 002 of and inch and how missing a dimension by that can scrap the project, I have to hear "you need a hobby" ....that is my hobby. But I'm stupid...

I avoid telling people I'm a high power competitive shooter, that's not a competition, there is no ball involved. I train, I practice twice a week, and shoot 3 matches a month (warm weather) there is talent needed for that. You need to take up football, now that takes talent. Ahhh,screw you.

I avoid telling people what I do for a living, I'm a tool and die maker. No I don't build screwdrivers & hammers. Morons......if we get part the fact I don't ride a desk for living, I'm asked what my shop builds, we are our own OEM building race car suspension parts, I then hear, oh race cars, can't find a real job can ya? It's OK I'm the super of production and I do engineering, maybe I should go worship a football lawn,court, playing area......

Thanks for letting me rant, now if you'll excuse me, the 9 year old wants her daddy , and I find your thoughts and questions much better then 99% of the adults I interact with


Aaron

their*

just kidding.

People need to stop thinking that everyone else needs to be like them. It doesn’t make you stupid if you’re not interested in sports. It doesn’t make them stupid if they’re not interested in alcohol funny cars. It just means people have diverse interests.

But, when it comes down to ridiculing people because they have different interests, that’s where the ignorance comes in. The people who ridicule you for not knowing football or not worshipping your lawn are behaving ignorantly.

It’s okay to like sports. It’s okay not to like sports. But. It’s better to not like sports than to like the Green Bay Packers. I just threw that in there to poke at the poster who actually admitted to being a cheese throaters fan.

LOL. I’m leaving that in there. My son calls GB pakers fans “cheese throaters” because he takes sports way too seriously. So I set up my phone to replace “packers” with “cheese throaters” because it’s hilarious.

 

[oze]

That’s rare. Most lawn snobs I’ve encountered are assholes about it. One guy who takes great pride in not leaving one blade of grass out of place bragged that he can tell a lot about the character of people who don’t take care of their lawns. I’m like, hold on there. People prioritize their time in different ways.

My daughter, who now lives in SoCal and has a backyard made literally of Astroturf calls those people "grassholes". To each their own, but not taking any care of one's lawn does speak to me about an old-fashioned concept called "pride of ownership", and taken to extremes, lack of which can impact the value of nearby homes.

Obviously, this doesn't apply to those of you living on isolated farms or Unibomber cabins. But that lifestyle ain't for me. I love being around people, and in fact am that pain in the ass guy who will strike up a conversation with you in line at the store.

 

[jamil]

Yep. I’m an introvert, so by my nature I tend to avoid people I don’t know very well by nature. If I physically can, I’d rather do the work my self. It killed me to admit this summer when it was time to get the roof replaced, I was going to have to hire someone. The idea of falling from 2 stories and working on a 45 degree roof convinced my wife what we were going to do.

I’ve got a bit of acreage and I’d rather spend time keeping it up than watching almost anything on TV, the movies, pro-sports (of any kind). I couldn’t tell you who’s hot in the pop culture world now and don’t care to know in the least.

My idea of fun this fall has been clearing over grown fence rows. I have grown to really relish the throwing of clumps of briars, wild multifloral roses, (anything with a thorn) on a raging pile of burning brush. Now that is satisfaction.

Spending an hour on my tractor rearranging dirt is way better than spending a minute on my knees cutting blades of grass with clippers.

 

[oze]

their*

just kidding.

People need to stop thinking that everyone else needs to be like them. It doesn’t make you stupid if you’re not interested in sports. It doesn’t make them stupid if they’re not interested in alcohol funny cars. It just means people have diverse interests.

But, when it comes down to ridiculing people because they have different interests, that’s where the ignorance comes in. The people who ridicule you for not knowing football or not worshipping your lawn are behaving ignorantly.

It’s okay to like sports. It’s okay not to like sports. But. It’s better to not like sports than to like the Green Bay Packers. I just threw that in there to poke at the poster who actually admitted to being a cheese throaters fan.

LOL. I’m leaving that in there. My son calls GB pakers fans “cheese throaters” because he takes sports way too seriously. So I set up my phone to replace “packers” with “cheese throaters” because it’s hilarious.

Back when I cared, we Bears fans called them the Fudge Packers, or Fudgies for short.

 

[oze]

... spending a minute on my knees cutting blades of grass with clippers.

Couldn't do that, wouldn't if I could. That's why God invented lawn machines.

 

[jamil]

My daughter, who now lives in SoCal and has a backyard made literally of Astroturf calls those people "grassholes". To each their own, but not taking any care of one's lawn does speak to me about an old-fashioned concept called "pride of ownership", and taken to extremes, lack of which can impact the value of nearby homes.

Obviously, this doesn't apply to those of you living on isolated farms or Unibomber cabins. But that lifestyle ain't for me. I love being around people, and in fact am that pain in the ass guy who will strike up a conversation with you in line at the store.

I don’t mind talking to strangers. So we’d probably end up yakking for an hour. And then I’d get in trouble because my wife is waiting. She’s more of the introvert.

About lawns, I keep my yard mowed and that’s about it. I don’t spend a dime on fertilizer. I don’t spend a moment extra besides the time it takes to mow. I have things to do with my time that I actually enjoy.

 

[MindfulMan]

“The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation. What is called resignation is confirmed desperation.” ~~~ Thoreau

I think that this is true of people ..... women too, of course. If we acknowledge it, and realize that we're all in the same boat, it would make connecting to people easier.

 

[wtburnette]

I have no evidence of you being socially awkward.

Socially awkward and an introvert, but I've learned to mostly hide both. Can't work IT support and be a shy, socially awkward introvert and actually flourish in that career. Have to learn to fake it and be more like everyone else. Doing so is exhausting and one of the reasons I don't leave the house most days.

 

[gregkl]

I usually don't weigh in on threads that aren't about guns or shooting but the timing is interesting.

Last night having dinner with my mom, the subject of professional sports came up. Mom thinks I should at least follow the home team and be aware of their standings.

My F-I-L and his wife were concerned about being able to watch the Michigan/ Ohio game cuz we were going to be there that weekend.

They don't like coming to our home because we don't have "live" TV., therfore no sports and "gasp" no 24 hour news!

I am somewhat of an outlier: I don't watch anything unless I am doing what I am watching or thinking about doing it. I am not a good spectator.

I would be happy to live out somewhere where I can be left alone but I think it is vital for health to have some "community ". That coupled with vigorous exercise and a sound diet will help you shorten the "red zone" of your life so I will need to work on that. I have the diet and exercise part down.

Most don't understand what I do for work(sales) and only occasionally I'll get the "I could never do that" comment. Which is not true BTW. Everyone is a salesperson at times.

I find that a lot of people want to talk about themselves and have little interest in other people. And I am okay to listen.

 

[oze]

I don’t mind talking to strangers. So we’d probably end up yakking for an hour. And then I’d get in trouble because my wife is waiting. She’s more of the introvert.

About lawns, I keep my yard mowed and that’s about it. I don’t spend a dime on fertilizer. I don’t spend a moment extra besides the time it takes to mow. I have things to do with my time that I actually enjoy.

If we were neighbors, I'd offer to trade making your lawn look nice for you changing my oil in my cars.