Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and
one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther
away... Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says
"Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????"
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is
idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies,
"Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very
nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I
wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take
away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How
can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the
river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other
side."
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said
that her body hurt wherever she touched. "Impossible!"
says the doctor. "Show me." The redhead took her finger, pushed
on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and
screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she
pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her
scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the
freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the
blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was
oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked
down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American
said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the
sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and
shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll
burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde20replied, "We're not stupid, you know.
We're going at night!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her
turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her
question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name,
can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new
dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by
saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her
friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"
one blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther
away... Florida or the moon?" The other blonde turns and says
"Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????"
CAR TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is
idling smoothly. She says, "What's the story?" He replies,
"Just crap in the carburetor"
She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
SPEEDING TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very
nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I
wish you guys would get your act together. Just yesterday you take
away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you!"
RIVER WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees
another blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How
can I get to the other side?" The second blonde looks up the
river then down the river and shouts back, "You ARE on the other
side."
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said
that her body hurt wherever she touched. "Impossible!"
says the doctor. "Show me." The redhead took her finger, pushed
on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and
screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she
pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her
scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the
freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the
blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was
oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked
down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
BLONDE ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, "We were the first in space!" The American
said, "We were the first on the moon!"
The Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the
sun!" The Russian and the American looked at each other and
shook their heads. "You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll
burn up!" said the Russian.
To which the Blonde20replied, "We're not stupid, you know.
We're going at night!"
IN A VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her
turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her
question was, "If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name,
can you hear it?"
She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new
dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by
saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her
friend said, "Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?"
"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"
