Meeting my 16 yr olds boyfriend

teddy12b said:

Not that I didn't enjoy reading the first few pages of this dumpster fire, but I've got a few thoughts on the topic and questions for the older (more experienced) dads than me because my oldest is just getting to this age and I'm just getting started on this.

So, some facts of life I've had to come to terms with having two beautiful daughters and a son between them. Someone is going to break all their hearts at least once. They're probably going to have some bad experience in relationships at some point. My prayer is that those lessons help revile what God has planned for my kids and that ultimately they fall in love and live happily ever after.

Having said that..... children make mistakes. My oldest daughter already has one idiot ex boyfriend, but as soon as she breaks up with one buy another will start calling. I get it, she's a smart, pretty, funny, cool girl to hang out with, and as a dad I'm glad she gets some attention I just wish it wasn't a constant stream of phone calls from boys that she meets. The irony is that they're nice boys she meets at church functions. I don't have plans to try and scare boys and I've found that they're usually more worried the less I say. Honestly, most of the gun owners I meet are usually the least intimidating people I meet and the ones who think they're some tough guy just because they bought some "XYZ" are usually the biggest jokes in the bunch. It's kinda like the guy with a "no fear" sticker on his car who's never been in a fight, never served, and has zero grit but all the mouth. I really don't want to be that guy, and I don't advertise that I have guns, but if asked I won't shy away from it either. My hope is that some day when my daughter gets married I have enough respect for the man she marries that I give him a home defense rifle as a gift at their wedding saying something to the effect of "she's still my daughter and will always be my little girl, but as a husband it's now your job to provide, protect and love her. If you need me, I'll be there and have your back". My daughter is doing an increasingly better job of sorting out the dumbies from the good ones the older she gets.

With my son, I've told him that he may be on the other side of the intimidation and jokes when he goes up to some young ladies door to pick her up for a date. If some girls dad wants to try and intimidate him, then he gets that right as the girls father. Whether or not my son takes it serious or not is really up to him. I've done my best to raise him up to be a good man some day and I hope that God has plans for him to marry a women of quality and is worthy. A big part of that makes sure he's not some little dirt bag and so far he's impressing me.

All things considered, I get the jokes and I think they're funny. I don't really plan on doing any of that myself, but if I ever get a call from a hospital or have to go pick up a bruised up daughter I can only hope and pray that I'll handle that well. Just my two cents.

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loudgroove said:

With all due respect, I will speak for myself at least. But I'm sure I'm not the only one. For me it was kinda a right of passage so to speak. I was the average teenage boy that never thought with my head above my shoulders. I am under no illusion that any girls father couldn't see thru me. I was intimidated quite a few times. Now I was on the other side to kinda pay for the havoc I stirred up. I knew the tricks then, and could see that there isn't any new ones now lol. Before my daughters one and only date, I sat her down and told her what I had done in the past so she could keep an eye out for anything. I believe that done more to scare her into NOT having s3x more than anything else. lol But she did tell me after they broke up that he tried many of my old tricks and I was right about everything. I put that in the history books because I'm sure that will be the only time I hear that from her. lol

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Tactically Fat said:

Nothing says "mentally well" than subtly threatening someone with weapons.

Guns aren't props or toys.

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Hoosier Carry said:

The crockpot screams psycho…

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Destro said:

If that is your idea of a joke, I would never let my son associate with you or your family in any way.

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Michigan Slim said:

Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

********

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Tactically Fat said:

Nothing says "mentally well" than subtly threatening someone with weapons.

Guns aren't props or toys.

Click to expand...

Michigan Slim said:

Ten Simple Rules for Dating My Daughter

Rule One:
If you pull into my driveway and honk you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.

Rule Two:
You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.

Rule Three:
I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your age to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't take this as an insult, but you and all of your friends are complete idiots. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose his compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my electric nail gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.

Rule Four:
I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate, when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.

Rule Five:
It is usually understood that in order for us to get to know each other, we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."

Rule Six:
I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.

Rule Seven:
As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful, like changing the oil in my car?

Rule Eight:
The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka - zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which features chain saws are okay. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.

Rule Nine:
Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres behind the house. Do not trifle with me.

Rule Ten:
Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy near Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password, announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely and early, then return to your car - there is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

********

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Bassat said:

I like it, except for rule #6. My baby never needed any help. She could make linebackers cry like all by herself.

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Creedmoor said:

I wonder if it would have been as funny to some.

Daughter comes home and says, dad I met Tommy's father tonight. They have a big bowl by the front door full of magnums and boxes of Plan B's.
.

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Hatin Since 87 said:

I bet youre fun at parties

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