Wife planning a sexy date night, advice needed

[hoosierdoc]

The other night we're laying in bed and I could tell me wife was holding something back. After prying she finally admitted she wanted to buy me a few drinks and then take me to a place called the Naked Monkey. I was shocked, she had never suggested we go to a strip club before. She said it's on the north side so I figure it's probably pretty classy. I was intrigued and asked why. This is where it gets . She said she was going to pay a woman to "take it all off" for me. She said they'd spend some time on my front but really concentrate on my back. After this comment I got a bit apprehensive. I think I'll be able to redirect things back around front when the time comes though. If they're going to take it all off, no sense in being behind me, right?

So... I've never been to a strip club. Any advice, especially when going with a spouse? She seems to think this will make me more attractive to her in some twisted sort of way. I don't want to upset her by not going, but I don't want her to feel she has to buy me a lap dance to be attracted to me. Maybe it's a communication problem.

Thanks in advance for your insight.

 

[mbills2223]

Take a pillow or something else soft to bite down on...trust me.

 

[Bfish]

Take a pillow or something else soft to bite down on...trust me.

I just DIED laughing! Like a solid 15 seconds! I don't know why but that hit me just right hahahaha

 

[HoughMade]

From the thread title, I was thinking you were asking advice on what to do while your wife was on the date.

 

[cook4army]

Make sure you give us all a G-rated after action report.

 

[mbills2223]

I just DIED laughing! Like a solid 15 seconds! I don't know why but that hit me just right hahahaha

 

[Bfish]

Hoosierdoc, I would love to help you here but have no personal experience with this sort of thing. Not only that no one knows your wife here better than you do. I don't really feel like I should say anything here yet. At least not till I mull it over a bit more haha.

 

[Sylvain]

You probably need to make sure you have enough one-dollar bills with you to last the entire evening.
Although I'm not sure where you put the money if the stripper removes everything.

Oh and don't forget your camera to post pictures on INGO later!

 

[DoggyDaddy]

You probably need to make sure you have enough one-dollar bills with you to last the entire evening.
Although I'm not sure where you put the money if the stripper removes everything.

Oh and don't forget your camera to post pictures on INGO later!

I do NOT want to see those pictures! Well, maybe just of doc's facial expression during the "stripping"...

 

[DoggyDaddy]

Take a pillow or something else soft to bite down on...trust me.

C'mon... this is INGO... he should take a bullet to bite down on!

 

[Sylvain]

Hoosierdoc, I would love to help you here but have no personal experience with this sort of thing. Not only that no one knows your wife here better than you do. I don't really feel like I should say anything here yet. At least not till I mull it over a bit more haha.

Come on!
He's smart enough to not expect any useful tips from us.
You don't need to have personal experience to give expert advice on INGO (just look at Mbills).

We need to figure out if there is a special slot where he needs to put his tip. (Remember to put just the tip, not the entire thing ... giggity!)

It should look something like that:

 

[The Bubba Effect]

If you have the option of waxed or natural, take waxed. It's way more stimulating.

 

[Sylvain]

I do NOT want to see those pictures! Well, maybe just of doc's facial expression during the "stripping"...

Not sure it's wise to ask for pictures of facials.

 

[halfmileharry]

Be careful on ANYTHING you say. You're being set up. This is worse than "Do these pants make my arse look big"?

 

[halfmileharry]

Not sure it's wise to ask for pictures of facials.

Hey, careful....the Frenchman is coming out...

 

[PaulF]

Um, doc...

You may want to re-think this plan...your wife isn't planning a "Sexy Date Night", her thoughts run to more depilatory areas.

The Naked Monkey is not a strip club...it is, well, look for yourself:

The Naked Monkey - A Waxing Spa and More!

Sorry, my furry friend. Ouch.

 

[Ballstater98]

Doc, RUN! The Naked Monkey is a waxing service place, NOT a gentleman's club. Or don't listen to me and ask for a Brazillion. They wax celebrities on Bob & Tom on air all the time.

 

[Sylvain]

Uh ... oh.Doc is going to have his monkey waxed????

 

[hoosierdoc]

I'm not falling for that misdirection guys. Don't let your jealousy cloud your judgment. It is unbecoming.

 

[Bfish]

I'm not falling for that misdirection guys. Don't let your jealousy cloud your judgment. It is unbecoming.

AND HERE IT IS!

I think the real reason he put this on here was to make everyone drool and be jealous more than to get advice!