Wife not comfortable with me carrying.

[Taney37]

My wife is a ER nurse and always had a problem with any guns in the house, I took my time but was finally able to get her out shooting, she fell in love with it and saw it as something we could do together.

 

[-Rogue-]

Likewise, mine is taking time to develop comfort around a firearm.

For concealed carry, she really doesn't mind until she hugs me and finds it on my waist! Then it is "cold".

 

[MooreALX]

My fiance had two fears when I started carrying. The first about it accidentally going off, which was an easy hurtle after explaining on the automatic safeties in a Glock that prevented it ever from firing without the pull of a trigger.

Then like your wife, she was very worried about how other people would respond if they saw it. At the beginning, she even made me promise to stop carring if people freaked out. Over time however, she became more comfortable with it. I think it was a few things that helped her. When I first started carrying, I'd admit that even I was nervous mostly just from not being used to carrying, she could sense that nervousness which made hers worse. As time passed and no one noticed, she began to be more comforatable with it. Then finally, there were a few cases, the first of which was the first weekend I started carrying with an agressive dog, and later with a lewd drunk, where she admitted that she was glad I was carrying in case those situations went south.

All that to say, she might just need time. And I wouldn't advocate open carrying any time soon.

 

[88GT]

Just how DO you men end up with women like this?

I can relate. My wife's reaction would be "What will the neighbors think?"

If they're worth anything at all it will be "Damn, that's an awesome Glock."

"I have no idea, but *I* think I'll have another Monte Cristo. With extra raspberries. What, you're not back yet?"

OMG, I love those sammiches.

I offered to buy her a pink AR, her comment? "Pink guns are stupid."

No, they're not. They're just not her cup of tea. I don't like scopes on rifles, preferring to shoot irons instead. You don't see me making asinine comments that scoped rifles are stupid.

When finances settle down, I have a promise to keep to keep to INGO to have the slide of my EDC duracoated in HOT PINK so I can say I OC just to make everyone notice. Let some one tell me pink is stupid then.

Married 15 years, one kid and no, we have never been in a situation that would have warranted it's use. We try not to put ourselves in harms way if we do not have to.

I have talked to my father-in-law about carrying. His views are a bit different since he works in a neighboring state that doesn't allow CC.
His thoughts were to be careful, learn how to carry correctly and keep my wits about me should something arise. My main question to him was about chambering a round, his thoughts were that yes, I should, that if I were to need my weapon that I would not want to add time in such a situation. The interesting thing he said was is that while he has had to use his firearm, I should really come to grips with the fact that I would be killing another human being and it is not to be taken lightly, that the mental toll is more than I could imagine. I respect that. It is why I stopped carrying when I was younger, my protection then wasn't as important as it is now, funny how a family changes that.

Soooo...I talked to my wife this morning and asked if she trusted me carrying. She said she did.

I said to her, "good, then lets not worry about what anyone else then." and she said "the only 2 people I worry about is you and your son, screw everyone else"

I then followed up by saying "ok, then I ask you not to worry about them and feel secure that when I am carrying, it is for protecting the two people who mean the world to me"

She said, "ok, since you put it that way"

Sounds like you got it resolved, or at least started on the right path.

We're having a ladies of INGO meet-n-eat sometime in the future (when I get around to picking a few dates on the calendar to see what works). If you're close enough, she's welcome to join.

 

[Faine]

I'm a little late to the game posting on this thread, it slipped through somehow. My wife had/has the exact same concern because I choose to OC. She told me they neighbors all think I'm nuts. I responded to her that they did not actually state that and she confirmed that she thinks they think I'm nuts but none have said a word. I asked her if she thought the neighbors would ever think about robbing us or if perhaps they might think our house a safe place if they were being robbed and she said that it was unlikely they'll Rob us since I'm nuts and that if they were emotionally excited they would probably think of our home as a safe place. Anyway I continued asking questions, making the occasional statement about crime rates and what not for about a year, yes.... A year. She's come around after my slow and methodical use of reasoning and showing that I'm not going to do anything crazy.

(also worth noting I've never had an mwag or been asked to leave or cover up, every time someone says something to me, I take the time to educate them and refer them to ingo, this has also helped immensely that all of my interactions have been positive)

my advice would be to take the high road and talk it out, if tempers rise, stop the conversation until it resumes naturally and keep calm at all costs. Losing your temper because someone doesn't see or agree to your logic is very easy but destroys your credibility when speaking about that topic.

 

[Midwest207]

I would emphasize why you are choosing to carry a firearm.

For my wife, for 1 week I just gave her all the news in our area. Between all the bank robberies, pharmacy robberies, and house invasions, it was clear that crime exists.

I then told her that I care for her and my son far more than what my neighbors or either of our parents think. I frequently said that "you matter more than their approval". Because that is the truth. Not only did it help my wife to understand my motivation...but it added some confidence that I will do what it takes to protect them.

You currently have 2 possible obstacles.

1. Does your wife understand that bad things could happen? Or is she like my mother-in-law who sticks her head in the sand and pretends that nothing bad ever happens anywhere. Without overcoming this, you will have an uphill battle and probably will not have her full support in the future.

2. She needs to know that your motivation for this is not to be "macho" or to show off. It is the concern and the admittance that I am not the strongest, fastest, most agile man. If I were a super ninja, I wouldn't need the gun. But most of us are not super ninjas (unless you happen to be in a mall ). You want to make sure that if a meth head is coming after us for my wallet, I want something that will make him stop and keep everyone in my family safe.

I hope this helps, but this is what helped in our household. Not only does my wife now approve, but she defends our families decision. So much so that she now has her own carry license and revolver as well.

Well said! I don't know that my wife would ever come around to the point of CC but she is warming up. I have shown her some videos from Lt. Dave Grossman and we have openly talked about his views.

https://www.usconcealedcarry.com/bulletproof-mind-exclusive/

I am a Sheepdog!

I have even shared with her the post on this thread as I have been reading through this. I think it is about communication. Just openly talking with them.

 

[LANShark42]

Ain't momma happy, ain't nobody happy. Keep momma happy.

^^^^What he said!^^^^

 

[brian.derby]

My wife too was, and to some extent still is, uncomfortable with me carrying, but she knows without a doubt that the reason I carry is her and our kids protection. She knows this and appreciates this because my gun has indeed saved our butts.

I simply started carrying concealed. She would know I was carrying, but the old adage, out of sight out of mind helped a lot. The day I needed to show it to change a BG attitude was the day she became a little more alright with my carry.

I hope you and your wife never have to go through with a situation like mine, and I truly wish you the best. But the biggest way I can think of you helping her is to keep it out of sight and out of mind. And talk to her....

 

[WJB63]

Even though my wife knew I was a life long gun owner and had been carrying a handgun for more years than even I can remember, being old and all, she was always a bit uncomfortable with it. That all changed almost a month ago when she was very happy that I do carry whenever we are on the road. Give her time, she will come around or just learn to live with the fact you carry, mine did.

 

[Sonick]

Hard situation :-/ I would usually say to have her read stories about how carrying has saved so many lives, but given who her father is, I would like to think she already knows. I have been asked not to carry to certain things (family events, reunions, cookouts, ect) but noone would stop me from feeling safe, including a wife.

Only you can make the decision, but I would definitely do what's in your power to atleast get her to "allow" it.

 

[jgreiner]

I recently purchased a Glock 19 to use as a CC weapon. My wife winced when I told her I was carrying a few weeks ago. We have since had a discussion on why she is concerned. She is not afraid of the gun itself, we have both been around guns most of our lives, her father is an LEO and rangemaster in a large city, I have been around guns since I was young.

Her concern is also not my reaction to a situation as I am very level headed and have a long fuse. She is more worried about other peoples reactions should they notice that I am carrying.

I dont know that this is a fight I want to take on.

Anyone else have an uncomfortable wife?

My wife was very uncomfortable with me carrying at first. She always wanted me to cover it up when we went out in public (I like to open carry). So i would respect her wishes.

This last fall, while down in the smokey Mountains, she was walking the dog when the dog went on point and started growling. this is on a remote mountain top. she cam RUNNING back into the cabin, screaming for me to grab my gun. so I did, and headed out with a good tactical flashlight as well.

we went back out, dog went on point, and sure enough, in the brush, were a pair of glowing eyes, far too wide to be a raccoon sized critter, too close to be a bear. (they do have mountain lions in that area).

We quietly backed away, and went back into the cabin.

since then, we have been out and about a couple of times.....ended up in a couple of sketchy areas in town, and she would reach over and pat my left hip, checking to see if I was carrying. she would just smile at me when she found my weapon there.

My point is this, give her time. she will come around. And GENTLY try to get her talked into going shooting (but start with a .22LR gun first). I think you will be surprised. My wife now wants both my kids versed with our guns too.

 

[brian.derby]

My wife was very uncomfortable with me carrying at first. She always wanted me to cover it up when we went out in public (I like to open carry). So i would respect her wishes.

This last fall, while down in the smokey Mountains, she was walking the dog when the dog went on point and started growling. this is on a remote mountain top. she cam RUNNING back into the cabin, screaming for me to grab my gun. so I did, and headed out with a good tactical flashlight as well.

we went back out, dog went on point, and sure enough, in the brush, were a pair of glowing eyes, far too wide to be a raccoon sized critter, too close to be a bear. (they do have mountain lions in that area).

Amazing how an incident will do that for wives. And yes, I have had my wife to the range, she actually enjoys shooting the .22

We quietly backed away, and went back into the cabin.

since then, we have been out and about a couple of times.....ended up in a couple of sketchy areas in town, and she would reach over and pat my left hip, checking to see if I was carrying. she would just smile at me when she found my weapon there.

My point is this, give her time. she will come around. And GENTLY try to get her talked into going shooting (but start with a .22LR gun first). I think you will be surprised. My wife now wants both my kids versed with our guns too.

Yep.... My wife has been to the range and enjoyed it somewhat...

 

[edporch]

I recently purchased a Glock 19 to use as a CC weapon. My wife winced when I told her I was carrying a few weeks ago. We have since had a discussion on why she is concerned. She is not afraid of the gun itself, we have both been around guns most of our lives, her father is an LEO and rangemaster in a large city, I have been around guns since I was young.

Her concern is also not my reaction to a situation as I am very level headed and have a long fuse. She is more worried about other peoples reactions should they notice that I am carrying.

I dont know that this is a fight I want to take on.

Anyone else have an uncomfortable wife?

Not knowing the dynamics of your wife's family I have to cover this possibility.

With her father being a LEO, has he ever been uncomfortable with non-LEO people carrying weapons at some point and maybe instilled this in his daughter (your wife) while she was growing up?

I know this is a long shot, but I had to ask.

 

[TheWabbit]

I would tell your wife to listen to the full 911 call of the Georgia wife shooting the intruder. Then have her listen to the 14 year old boy who shot a home invader with a shotgun in North Carolina. Then have her listen to the mother in Oklahoma who used a shotgun against the neighbor trying to break in.

 

[inlineman]

Thats different mine is not comfortable with me not carrying.

 

[VeteranUSN]

My wife trusts me perfectly. However I don't think she would like it if I OC'd but thats not the case

 

[dyerwatcher]

My wife has been to the range and does not enjoy firearms. Her EDC is a Kimber Pepper Blaster. She is , however, extremely comfortable with me carrying everywhere I legally can. She has commented how I am more patient with morons when I carry. I just tell her it's my charm pill.

 

[Greeper]

Married 15 years, one kid and no, we have never been in a situation that would have warranted it's use. We try not to put ourselves in harms way if we do not have to.

I have talked to my father-in-law about carrying. His views are a bit different since he works in a neighboring state that doesn't allow CC.
His thoughts were to be careful, learn how to carry correctly and keep my wits about me should something arise. My main question to him was about chambering a round, his thoughts were that yes, I should, that if I were to need my weapon that I would not want to add time in such a situation. The interesting thing he said was is that while he has had to use his firearm, I should really come to grips with the fact that I would be killing another human being and it is not to be taken lightly, that the mental toll is more than I could imagine. I respect that. It is why I stopped carrying when I was younger, my protection then wasn't as important as it is now, funny how a family changes that.

Soooo...I talked to my wife this morning and asked if she trusted me carrying. She said she did.

I said to her, "good, then lets not worry about what anyone else then." and she said "the only 2 people I worry about is you and your son, screw everyone else"

I then followed up by saying "ok, then I ask you not to worry about them and feel secure that when I am carrying, it is for protecting the two people who mean the world to me"

She said, "ok, since you put it that way"

I offered to buy her a pink AR, her comment? "Pink guns are stupid."

I'm not sure how to tell you this, sir...I'm mildly attracted to your wife....'s words...

Good on ya'!

 

[whispers76]

My wife had similar opinion at one time, now she carries. I stood my ground & explained the safety of my family is more important than anyone's opinion. No reasonable person can argue that statement.

 

[HighStrung]

I recently purchased a Glock 19 to use as a CC weapon. My wife winced when I told her I was carrying a few weeks ago. We have since had a discussion on why she is concerned. She is not afraid of the gun itself, we have both been around guns most of our lives, her father is an LEO and rangemaster in a large city, I have been around guns since I was young.

Her concern is also not my reaction to a situation as I am very level headed and have a long fuse. She is more worried about other peoples reactions should they notice that I am carrying.

I dont know that this is a fight I want to take on.

Anyone else have an uncomfortable wife?

Okay, I'm not going to read thru all the posts here, but listen to what you said in your OP. She is concerned about other people reactions should they notice. You purchased this for CC (as you stated). If you CC well enough, people wont notice. How many times have you (or more specifically her) noticed someone CC'ing? People aren't walking around looking directly at everyone's waistband trying to make someone's cc. Just saying