What DO we tell women?

[JetGirl]

Fletch, your post is a work of art.

 

[Bill of Rights]

ETA: I think the reason a "strong father figure" is so helpful is that he has the power to set an alternative social norm, and gives girls (and boys) the opportunity to choose which norm they will follow. At the very least, they will always know that there is an alternative.

Great point. Rep added.

Blessings,
B

 

[mrdave333atgmaildotc]

if you pull a stun gun in a self defense situation it better be one powerful enough to knock em off their feet. for the same reason I didn't recommend my girl to carry a tiny .22

"What about your mace or stun gun? Won't he just take that too?" -- if that happens, its a lot better to have a disarming tool turned against you than to have a gun turned against you.

 

[JetGirl]

if you pull a stun gun in a self defense situation it better be one powerful enough to knock em off their feet. for the same reason I didn't recommend my girl to carry a tiny .22

Wow! Zombie thread!

About the tiny .22; I wouldn't volunteer to hold the target...would you?
Anything is better than a pointy stick, and if the lowly .22 is all that someone could handle (for whatever reasons), I sure wouldn't stand in its path.

 

[Fixer]

The wife was recenty looking at some stun guns at a gun show. She was thinking about getting one to carry along with her gun. She carries a tazer on duty and that was why she was considering one for personal carry. I kind of talked her out of it because I didn't want her trying to decide if she should grab it or the gun to use. I also wouldn't recommend one to anyone unless they are well trained in close quarter hand combat. To allow an attacker to get that close is giving them more opportunity to do you harm. Remember the object is to use what gives you the best defense.

 

[gungirl65]

As a woman I have to admit that no, I do not want to have to kill anyone. I will do everything possible not to have to do it. However being a protective mother, I would fight to the death, preferably theirs, to protect my children and my own life. I am a very nice person but I will not let anyone harm my kids or my animals.

Although girls are supposed to be sugar & spice & everything nice, that no longer applies when you threaten me or my kids. It's a mind set. I think a lot of women who think they couldn't harm another person would be more than able to do it if their children's lives were at stake. It's a maternal thing. It's instinct.

This BS of doing what the bad guy wants you to do so maybe he will let you & / or your kids live, is just BS. If the situation arises a woman has to be prepared to fight like hell, it's not an after school special. The odds of being set free are not in our favor. I would definitely feel bad if I had to hurt or kill another human being, I would feel worse if I did nothing and something bad happened to my kids.

 

[OkieGirl]

I think for most girls they have to come face to face with a bad situation to really take their personal safety seriously. Yes, you put my kids in danger then it's a no brainer...but my safety? Just mine alone? Is that supposed to be shades of grey? How badly will the bad guy beat me? What else will he do? Will I live thru it? At what cost?

You have already made the decision before any threat arises, it is ingrained in the programming you have received. It's part of who you are...you will either fight or you will submit. I don't mean to sound dark here but it's a conversation every parent needs to have with their daughter, wife, sisters, and friends. The statistics on this are clear: the decision is made at the first moment of threat and that will dictate how it ends. Also, it has to end at the location it began or it will not end well for the woman.

Luck favors the prepared.

 

[Jeepcrazed]

I had a situation, and my kid was with me, and that was the moment when I decided that I would not allow myself to be in a situation without options again.

Since then, I've worked to learn and train to be what I can. There's no question in my mind who wins...if it's a fight between someone and my kid...or the idea that my kid would have to grow up without a mom. no question at all.

 

[catielynnb]

Woah, this thread is old...
and... I know I'm new around here, but this is one of the few things that I have an extremely strong opinion on. SO instead of starting something new, I'll just run off this one.

My father, when I was 15 signed my entire family up for martial arts, specifically tae kwon do(TKD). He surprised me with it because he thought I wouldn't take well to it, and today I'm the only one from my family has followed through. I've been a black belt for just over a year, and been taught not only in TKD but also derivatives of similar things, such as, jujitsu, karate, krav maga, judo, kempo and a few others.

My sister, who was 11 when we started, has completely quit. And she had real skill... It was like pulling teeth to get her to go once she hit 14. She's still good, but has no desire to be confrontational.

Here's my real issues with self defense classes. I've been a part of and an instructor for several women's self defense classes and although the information is great if you take the time to practice outside of that one two or three hour class, BUT if you don't then what was the point?! I've seen women come through the doors for one of the classes and then turn around, leave, and not remember anything they've been taught.

The techniques our young ladies are taught usually consist of exactly what kludge said... This is common in the youth of the church I attend and a large majority of the girls I know from the college I attend.

Just recently a very dear friend of mine was working the midnight shift on campus and a guy came in and was trying to break into offices. They did call campus police and scared the guy off, but when she called me to talk to me about it she asked if I could teach her some basic self defense... I told her yes and that my only requirement was that she practice with her husband frequently. She has been and out of all the girls I've shown something to she's the only one who's stuck with it.


I'm thoroughly appalled with the way we still treat women as lesser than men in these term. But dressing up marital arts, self-defense and any form of weaponry in simplicity and 'prettyness' does not do a woman any bit of good. UNLESS, she really takes it to heart and plans to do something very real with it.

And I will take any 'flack' for that statement, but it's truly what I believe.
Especially after being so involved in it firsthand...

 

[LegatoRedrivers]

Well, for no more than it's worth, here's what the IL State Police suggest that women do......... seems sort of lame, to be perfectly honest.

Sexual Assault - If You Are Confronted...

I love that this list tells women to, among other things, "Talk your way out of it" and "Use your imagination..."

Maybe your attacker would be more interested in accompanying you on a trip to Candy Mountain than in continuing his assault?

 

[OkieGirl]

Catielynnb ~ I agree. This is something that I feel very strongly about too. I truly believe that body language: how you carry yourself, talk, walk, dress, stance, etc... dictates whether you become a target or not. I also think that the best defense is to put off a "stronger than most" persona and the perp will choose someone less difficult to deal with.

Given my smaller frame I have had moments where I have had to make a quick calculated response to even the most overt threat. When I was a teenager I was leaving work after dark and there was a guy who climbed out of a ditch and was walking toward me and not the store, I actually turned to look him in the eye and began walking toward him (not something I would suggest now) he quickly diverted his eyes and changed direction. It just made me so mad that someone would pick me out as a target and I wanted him to know I wouldn't be an easy one. I have been to those self defense for women classes and they do have value but until you have a point of reference for the appropriate level of fear ~ most girls just don't take it seriously.

 

[T.Lex]

Apologies for the thread necromancy (although I was pleased someone else resurrected in 2012).

Recently, a very close, young, female relative of mine went through a self-defense class. Basically a TKD-based exercise in escaping holds and quick counter-attacks. Along with it was about a 4 page, poorly spaced, treatise on statistics about violence against women, and different strategies to prevent it (buddy system, etc.).

Not one mention of firearms. Or, really, even knives. Pepper spray and tasers (I think) were in there, though. I get that the guy giving the lesson is a martial-arts type guy. But still, it seems like SOME mention - even if it is just to say that if you opt for a firearm, be sure to get trained on it - would be helpful.

I'm anticipating the conversation about the effectiveness of guns in that situation. She knows I carry (CC), and I think this will at least start her thinking in terms of, "What else can I do that might be effective?"

I'd be interested in any insight from others in this forum, though.

 

[SSGSAD]

I am ONLY GUESSING here, but probably a "class" from some "liberal" of one kind or another..... WHAT else do YOU expect ..... I was in "dons guns" SEVERAL years ago, and a guy wanted to buy his "lady friend" a gun, and I heard her say, "I don't want to hurt ANYONE!!!"

 

[flagtag]

Oh good grief! When "it" hits the fan, I hope her friend is there to protect her. (Or, she's toast.)