It was 2013. A cold october day. Me and CM stopped at a little diner in Mayberry. When we walked in we noticed the place empty. Only a few waitresses with sad faces was there. When we asked what was wrong they went on to tell how their supply truck had broken down and they had no burgers or fries. For those who have never been to Mayberry, burgers and fries are the life blood of this sleepy little town. Without them Mayberry would cease to exist. So we sat down to figure out how we could help. At this time CM noticed an Idaho potato truck stop at the stop light outside. He jumped and ran out. I followed. He tapped on the drivers window and asked how much potatoes he was hauling. Driver said 5 tons of the best idaho potatoes ever grown. CM asked how much for the whole truckload. Driver said $20,000. CM used his superior haggling ability and bought that truck load for $5 and some belly button lint. So once we moved the truck to the back CM asked me how fast i could get the Midgets here. I said give me 15 minutes. I took out my super duper midget call silent whistle that only midget strippers can hear and 15 minutes later i had 50 of the finest midget strippers in the world there. I asked CM what he had planned? He said just have those lil' cuties start throwing potatoes in the air when i say I'm ready. So i got the midgets in position. I noticed that CM was chewing gum...lots of gum. He took the wad out his mouth. Took that gum and pipe cleaners with tape and a little ear wax and made the prettiest 1911 I've ever seen. Well, he ordered the midgets to start throwing those taters in the air. I'm telling you, they threw taters like their lives depended on it. CM shooting like a mad man. Big idaho taters going up. Perfectly cut crinkle fries coming down. CM shot 5 tons of potatoes in about 10 minutes. So, after getting the fries in the fryers. I said, hey CM, we still don't have any burgers. He stood there thinking. Then he noticed a few cows across the street. He walked over to them. Put his arm around the biggest cow and started whispering in it's ear. The cow nodding every few minutes. After about 10 minutes CM walked back smiling. I asked him what did you say to the cow? He just smirked and told me to get the grills fired up. So we fired up the grills and had the fries done when all of sudden there was a line of cows outside the back door. They came in one at a time and threw themselves on the grills. Never seen anything like it. Somehow CM had sweet talked these cow into grilling themselves. At the end of the day Mayberry had enough burgers and fries to last them 100 yrs. So when you travel to Mayberry and order a cheeseburger and fries. Thank CM. This is a true and accurate story the way i remember it. This day a Legend was born!
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