The Heaviest Element Yet, Just Discovered

[gage]

Breakthrough research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.​

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.​

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.​

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.​

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.


source asapMag Millstones (project humor!)
​

 

[mettle]

When will this be added to the elements table for school age children to learn? Or, is this going to be filed in the 'health' field as it seems to be more of a disease than that of a tumorous bulge?

 

[SnoopLoggyDog]

That is really good. Look forward to sharing this with my co-workers at Grissom.

 

[rhino]

That's a lot of inertia!

 

[Cain71]

So they finally got a scientific name and explaination for whats a going on. How much did this study cost WE THE PEOPLE?

 

[edsinger]

That was AWESOME! Thanks

 

[jblomenberg16]

Sonds like one of the best explainations I've heard yet!

 

[JustGone]

That is indeed hilarious!!

 

[hunt3rsd3n]

Kuddos. I am going to have to share that one. It should raise some eye brows and start people THINKING. I long lost art of self discovery.

 

[Errkola]

Doc, way to school us, very funny.

 

[Bigum1969]

Thanks for the good laugh before hitting the sack!

 

[Dryden]

That's gonna be copied and sent to a few friends.

Has this new element been linked to Black Holes?

 

[Feign]

Fantastic.

 

[22lr]

Very nice.

 

[Indecision]

That was pretty funny, I chuckled.

 

[Chefcook]

Breakthrough research has led to the discovery of the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.​

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second to take from four days to four years to complete.​

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 to 6 years; It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.​

This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.​

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.


source asapMag Millstones (project humor!)
​

Wow this changes everything. Does this mean the first atom was actually split in 1861 when the civil war led to split Governmentium? Not only once but twice as Administratium was also split???