Need more INGO sage advice

[gvsugod]

Alright here are the specs.

26 yrs old
Married
Dog
No Kids
Lease for 5 months
Boatloads of student loan debt
Otherwise minimal debt

So here is the skinny, I really hate it here in Indiana, wife does to. We have mostly been miserable in our almost three years here. Sorry, but Northern Michigan is where its at, grew up there, family there, infinity hunting and fishing spots. This isnt to bash Indiana, its just not for me. Particularly Indy.

I LOVE my job. Wife is happy in her job, and soon it will be 100% work from home, which is nice when we have kids.

Now when I say miserable, I really mean it. Super depressed, just kind of numb to everything nowadays. s*** keeps piling up, sick dad, sick grandpa, work injuries, new nieces we want to see more.

The only way out would be to just walk away from my job, I have nothing lined up currently, looking, and my boss is aware I will EVENTUALLY leave, and I have his full support.

We have a plan, where I just walk away in a few weeks, with what I would be paid out, and what we have saved, on paper money wise we would be able to maintain status quo through January, even if I dont find another job until then.

At what point does the need to be happy outweigh the need to be smart? Its dumb to walk away, have the lease, obviously need income. But the more we talk about what we need to do to be happier, the more we just keep coming back to walking away.

I am way too rational to do it, I want to provide for my family.

Anyway, this was partial vent, partial real question.

Thanks.

 

[MCgrease08]

If it were me, I'd finish out the lease and work during that time. That would give you five more months to look for work in Michigan, find housing, etc.

A job doesn't mean jack if you aren't happy, and at 26, you've got plenty of time to find something else and focus on a career and building a life.

Go where you'll be happy. Just making the decision will make you feel better and the next five months will fly by.

 

[Vigilant]

Boatloads of student loan debt don't go away by walking away? Then there is the likelihood that your landlord, who leased to you, will sue! It's not their fault you aren't happy, and it shouldn't cost them money!

 

[GodFearinGunTotin]

Life is too short to be miserable. Rather than the options of stick it out or walk you've outlined--develop a plan. Figure out where you want to be and the steps necessary to make it happen. And if you're religious, pray on it. I know to many of our non-believers here, it sounds hokey but I've found it really does help. It'll also help your outlook and attitude just knowing you've got a plan and you're working it to get where you want to go.

 

[gvsugod]

Boatloads of student loan debt don't go away by walking away?

Yep, thats why the one choice says "Moron, gotta be a grown up."

I'm not dumb. But like I said, we will have enough money to pay all bills, and live as we have been through January.

 

[GodFearinGunTotin]

Yep, thats why the one choice says "Moron, gotta be a grown up."

I'm not dumb. But like I said, we will have enough money to pay all bills, and live as we have been through January.

Just keep in mind, January is not very far away.

 

[Vigilant]

Yep, thats why the one choice says "Moron, gotta be a grown up."

I'm not dumb. But like I said, we will have enough money to pay all bills, and live as we have been through January.

Whats the job market at "home" if you don't get a job by January, then what?

 

[Que]

Happiness is never achieved for many of us, because it's hard to be content with what we already have. Contentment should be the goal and it doesn't sound like you can achieve that in Indy. Take time to build a workable plan and leave knowing you won't have to lean on your family to support you if you don't find employment. Also I hope I inferred incorrectly that you would be walking away from the lease without paying the balance. If that's the case, please do not do that. Give this some time and do it on a way that you can sleep at night.

 

[Sylvain]

.

 

[Sylvain]

Maybe you can learn to love Indiana.Maybe some native Hoosiers can show you some great hunting spots.

I'm not from Indiana but I fell in love with the people who live there.I found some amazing places too.I like going to Brown County State Park for example.
You've been there for three years but maybe you don't know the state that well.
Or at least not the great places and people it has to offer.

I miss my family too when I'm in Indy but the people I have there make it impossible to be home sick.

 

[gvsugod]

Happiness is never achieved for many of us, because it's hard to be content with what we already have. Contentment should be the goal and it doesn't sound like you can achieve that in Indy. Take time to build a workable plan and leave knowing you won't have to lean on your family to support you if you don't find employment. Also I hope I inferred incorrectly that you would be walking away from the lease without paying the balance. If that's the case, please do not do that. Give this some time and do it on a way that you can sleep at night.

Failure to disclose on my part. We have every intention of fufilling the financial obligations of the lease, whether we stay or go. Or sub-leasing. Something amicable to us and the landlord. I dont want to solve one problem, and create another one. Also the wife would have to stay here short term to transition to 100% work from home.

We would have a place to stay until we get settled in MI, my dad has a huge house, with a bedroom with its own bath and kitchen downstairs.

Job market at home, its ok. My dad has said he wanted me to come work for him since I graduated High School, but he has never done anything but talk. In my chosen field of study? Almost non existent. We love West Michigan as well, and there are many more options there.

 

[gvsugod]

Also, we had the plan that the end of our lease is a hard end date, we are leaving that day no matter what. But since that has happened things have gotten worse, new niece, sick dad (although we found out yesterday it isnt cancer as we feared), sick grandpa, these all developed in the last few weeks.

 

[1911ly]

Never quit a job with out a plan for a new one. That's always been my rule. Bills add up fast. I am debt free at 52. I own everything including my house. Avoid loans. Especially if you are buying things you "want" and don't need! Those rules have kept me out of trouble. Start looking for another job! Best of luck.

 

[gvsugod]

Never quit a job with out a plan for a new one. That's always been my rule. Bills add up fast. I am debt free at 52. I own everything including my house. Avoid loans. Especially if you are buying things you "want" and don't need! Those rules have kept me out of trouble. Start looking for another job! Best of luck.

I live by most of these too. We own both our cars. Debt is very minimal, we have eliminated about 1/3 of our non student loan debt in the past 12 months, and raised our credit scores about 100 pts each.

 

[femurphy77]

What is it about Indiana that has you in such a predicament? I hate cold, I hate snow, I miss the ocean, I miss the beach, I have a great job but even I don't "hate" Indiana (even if it is full of Yankees!)

 

[gregkl]

If you are considering western Michigan(say Grand Rapids and points north and south), the job market is pretty decent right now. I grew up in Michigan and I understand the "pull' to go back home. If you are looking farther north(Traverse City, Grayling, Cadillac for example) you will not find as much and the pay will be lower.

When I move, I look at it as an adventure of sorts. I try to find things I like and then I do them. I don't hang on to what life was like "back home" because we can't reproduce that. Actually, if you have been gone for some time, you can't reproduce what you had when you do go back home. Time marches on. Things change.

You have to do what makes you happy. One thing I have learned though is how you leave one area is the way you will enter the next. You don't need external stimuli to affect an internal change. Find a way to be content where you are, formulate an "escape" plan and start making preparations. If you do that, the excitement of working out the details of the plan should help lift you out of your depressed state. Sort of like light at the end of the tunnel.

Keep in mind that a lot of companies don't hire much until after the first of the year. Good luck!

The good news is there are jobs out there and you can find a place to live. You have a couple good cars and each other. The rest will fall into place as you take those steps.

 

[Sylvain]

What is it about Indiana that has you in such a predicament? I hate cold, I hate snow, I miss the ocean, I miss the beach, I have a great job but even I don't "hate" Indiana (even if it is full of Yankees!)

Too hot in the summer and too cold in the winter.No ocean.Yet I love it.

 

[Expat]

When I read stuff like this, I realize I really am from a different generation.

 

[GodFearinGunTotin]

When I read stuff like this, I realize I really am from a different generation.

It's 8pm, grandpa...isn't it your bed time?

 

[gvsugod]

What is it about Indiana that has you in such a predicament? I hate cold, I hate snow, I miss the ocean, I miss the beach, I have a great job but even I don't "hate" Indiana (even if it is full of Yankees!)

Just never clicked for me. I live in Indy, and for one I am definetely not a city guy. Also where I grew up we were kind of spoiled with fishing, hunting, outdoor stuff, and generally just tons to do. I havent really found anything like that here.

Its also a lot about family, we want to start a family, and want to be close to our parents/siblings etc for help.

When I was younger I said I never wanted to live at home. Now thats all my wife and I dream about, going home.