is it a good or bad idea to let a 14 year old visit her mom in jail?

[buddy17]

To teach a child to be safe with firearms doesn't necessitate a trip to the morgue to show them what a person looks like who lost at a game of Russian Roulette.

At the same point, you wouldn't take your kid to a funeral either?? Why hide your kids from any sort of pain??

 

[Que]

At the same point, you wouldn't take your kid to a funeral either?? Why hide your kids from any sort of pain??

To teach her about proper gun safety? No, I wouldn't.

 

[buddy17]

To teach her about proper gun safety? No, I wouldn't.

I think you've misinterpreted the gun safety analogy......To each his own, but I'm with churchmouse on this one.

Hiding them from what's truly going on is how the typical liberal handles a problem.....no thanks.

 

[bwframe]

...Hiding them from what's truly going on is how the typical liberal handles a problem.....no thanks.

That ain't cool.

 

[actaeon277]

Children are not made of glass

 

[TB1999]

As mills lane said, I'LL ALLOW IT!

 

[Que]

That ain't cool.

It is alright Burl. Some people may have more experience with this situation than me. I'm just providing another view for the OP to consider.

 

[5000]

I'm with Que. Prison is no place for kids, even worse for teens. Marginalize it and they'll be spending time there themselves down the road.

Is it because when you start to visit it becomes more normal and maybe acceptable?

 

[5000]

I'm sure she sees worse on TV, heck probably even at school. Take her to see her mother.

worse at school? What kind of things?

 

[BigBoxaJunk]

How long has your wife been in jail? Have you visited her yourself?

Do you intend to visit your wife as often as you are allowed, regardless of whether or not you bring your daughter with you?

 

[JollyMon]

worse at school? What kind of things?

There is a high probability other students know that her mom is in jail. Kids are terrible to each other.... you do the math.

 

[indiucky]

I see where Que and others are coming from but I think one should let the 14 year old see her mom in jail...Maybe seeing her daughter while she is in jail will serve as a reminder why she should stay out of jail......

 

[Hogwylde]

nevermind

 

[kickbacked]

What does your wife have to say about it? Arent you concerned about how she feels? This is something you should talk to her about, not a bunch of strangers on the internet.

 

[5000]

What does your wife have to say about it? Arent you concerned about how she feels? This is something you should talk to her about, not a bunch of strangers on the internet.

she said bring her if she would like to come.

 

[bwframe]

Is it because when you start to visit it becomes more normal and maybe acceptable?

Correct. Also the normalization of the incarcerated environment. Prisoners, staff and other visitors all have a different that normal mindset, one that is more likely to set poor examples for healthy productive life.

Regardless of being the child's mother, your wife might not be of a proper sound mind for upbringing your child, while incarcerated. We are always upbringing our children.


Good for you for sticking by your wife through this difficult time. Your daughter will be just fine waiting for her mother to get out and better off that you didn't expose her to that poor environment. She'll also be happier in her own mind, not struggling with deciding on visiting or not, visiting the next time or not because she thinks it's the right thing to do, etc, etc.

Especially since your wife doesn't seem adamant about seeing her daughter, I would argue that it would be less stressful for her, not anticipating daughter visits.

It's only six months, it will go quick and you guys can get back to normal life soon.

 

[IndyDave1776]

What does your wife have to say about it? Arent you concerned about how she feels? This is something you should talk to her about, not a bunch of strangers on the internet.

Come on! We're not THAT strange!

Correct. Also the normalization of the incarcerated environment. Prisoners, staff and other visitors all have a different that normal mindset, one that is more likely to set poor examples for healthy productive life.

Regardless of being the child's mother, your wife might not be of a proper sound mind for upbringing your child, while incarcerated. We are always upbringing our children.

In my observation it takes a number of years for a person to become institutionalized with the inmates becoming so the fastest by virtue of 24/7 saturation and the fact that most of them are not first time guests of the state, followed by the staff who spend a great deal of time, but not all their time at work. I have never heard of visitors being affected by this phenomenon at all.

 

[bwframe]

...In my observation it takes a number of years for a person to become institutionalized with the inmates becoming so the fastest by virtue of 24/7 saturation and the fact that most of them are not first time guests of the state, followed by the staff who spend a great deal of time, but not all their time at work. I have never heard of visitors being affected by this phenomenon at all.

And you were a part of this system?

 

[IndyDave1776]

And you were a part of this system?

It is a job I should have quit the day before I started, but yes, once upon a time I wore the blue suit for the DOC.

 

[bwframe]

It is a job I should have quit the day before I started, but yes, once upon a time I wore the blue suit for the DOC.

With all due respect sir, you are a part of that "staff" crowd I was speaking of above. No offense, but your work jaded you.