Having "The Talk" - Family vs. Curious Stranger

[esrice]

Dunno about the ACT class, it looks geared toward competition. On the DTI, that would be perfect. Is it BYOG or are all materials provided?

I would assume its BYOG/holster/mag pouch at the minimum.

Don't let that be much of an issue, as she is more than welcome to borrow my G19/holster/mag pouch for the class. If that's not her cup of tea, I'm sure SOMEONE here has a loaner pistol she would be comfortable with.

 

[esrice]

I haven't found a "required gear" list yet, but here is the course description. . .

Fundamentals of Defensive Shooting for Women

ETA: Ok, I found it:

What to bring?

 

[Bill of Rights]

"I" never get confrontational around anti-gun people. My wife and I just went to visit a friend of hers. The husband was very excited to have recently gotten his handgun permit.
While we were sitting sround their table the wife had made mention of someone else (Maybe a brother-in-law or another friend of theirs) and the fact that they felt (or at least acted) like they needed to be armed at all times.
I asked what she meant by that, She replied that she saw no reason for him to be armed "here at my house, or while we are OUT for dinner somewhere like a nice restaraunt"
I reminded her about the restaraunt massacre that happened a few years ago where a gunman had driven his truck inside a restaraunt and just started shooting people. At least one of the patrons that fateful day had a license to carry a handgun and carried it religiously. However that particular state had in effect a law that forbids the lawful gun owner and license holder from carrying their only method of personal protection inside a public restaraunt. (probably enacted by people who felt exactly like my wife's friend) This patron whatched as her father and then her mother were gunned down by this mad man all the while helpless to defend herself OR her loved ones against this maniac because she was not permitted to possess the means with witch to do so.
All the while I sat there concealed carrying my .45 in HER house. "I" didn't want to offend her by telling her "well "I" will carry anywhere I want AND I am carrying right now" but I did let her know that there is a reason to NOT restrict the lawful possession and carrying of handguns by law abiding citizens ANYWHERE.


Just my

Good choice not to tell her you were carrying. Dollars to doughnuts, she would have felt threatened by that disclosure. Bad idea.

Also good to tell Dr. Susanna Hupp's story. That was in Sept. 1991, IIRC, however, no, she did not have a carry permit, as Texas did not then have such a thing. She could legally have it in her car, I think, but could not have it on her person or in her purse. Her powerful testimony, as shown in video several places on INGO, tells of her regret of obeying a stupid law and being angry not with the criminal but with her legislators for disarming her.

Dr. Hupp's experience and later, her service as a state legislator were instrumental in passing a CCW law in Texas, signed into law by Gov. George W. Bush. I don't often have much good to say about him beyond the fact that he's not a liberal, but on that point, yes, I think he made a good decision.

In sum, good encounter, GetA2J.. Well done.

Blessings,
Bill

 

[Bill of Rights]

This may have been covered in a thread before but... I have some friends that become very uncomfortable with the mention of firearms or me carrying one, sometimes to the point of them wanting to be confrontational about it. (Keep in mind that i am in college) I do not carry on campus at all, (due to legality) but do most of the time when I am out eating and so forth. I am in a fraternity and rarely carry over there because well some of them are just plain idiots...... Should I push the issue to make it seem more normal or would I be better off just to leave there thoughts to themselves and keep doing what I am doing? Its not really affecting anyone around me and I carry concealed so I guess I just do not see what the big deal is....

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

to INGO!

If your friends became uncomfortable or confrontational about any of your other rights, say, freedom of speech, would that be a consideration?

Also, you mentioned you don't carry on campus due to legality. There is no state law in Indiana forbidding carry on a college campus, however, there is a bill before the legislature to prevent a college from expelling or otherwise sanctioning you for carrying there if you hold a LTCH.

Might I suggest that you contact your legislator and support this bill? (SB 12)

Thanks!

Blessings,
Bill

 

[indytechnerd]

I haven't found a "required gear" list yet, but here is the course description. . .

Fundamentals of Defensive Shooting for Women

ETA: Ok, I found it:

What to bring?

Ok, that'll take some extra work then, she doesn't have a LTCH. Going to have to see about that. Mine still hasn't arrived. 9wks tomorrow.

 

[IUGradStudent]

I wonder if DTI would be "too intense" for a first class. I've never taken anything with them, so I don't know, but it might be something to ask about.

Otherwise, I think you're in excellent shape -- getting her to take a class is a huge positive step!

 

[henktermaat]

Over the last week I had two conversations that went to firearms and carrying, both with friends who were vocally and vehemently against the whole idea. You never know until it comes up - but some of my good friends fear and hate guns.

In one situation I was at a church event. I listened quietly as my friends went on and on about their "crazy" neighbor who had a gun in his house in plain sight when they stopped by. They went on to make comments about how they felt unsafe and to the effect of "what about the children." (They had a small child with them.)

I was carrying the whole time. I did not get into the fact that in church shootings, psycho madmen were stopped by carrying citizens, but next time, I will.

Then I had a longtime friend over later on. The conversation went to guns and the jist of his fears were that guns would only make things worse and "if you pulled it out, you'd have to use it" - that sort of thing. I like these people, so I diverted the conversation so as not to end up in a huge argument... but I was carrying. This will definitely take time.

 

[right winger]

My wife and I have had talks about guns carrying etc.
She has since got a .38 and L.T.C.H. and carries every where.
She did a craft show at a school and had to leave her gun home.
She said she felt lost.

 

[Leadeye]

I had the same issues 30 years ago but over time she became interested and now has her own guns. She deer hunts with me every year but does not turkey hunt anymore after having foot surgery. Give it time it will work out.

 

[esrice]

Ok, that'll take some extra work then, she doesn't have a LTCH. Going to have to see about that. Mine still hasn't arrived. 9wks tomorrow.

Did it say they required a LTCH to take the class? Or are you just referring to her transporting it there?

If transportation is the issue, I'm sure she could arrange to borrow a G19 when she gets there, and I can provide all the other gear she'd need.

Or maybe find a non-female-specific course closer to home that you two could take together at the same time?

 

[abnk]

Some ideas:

1. Join the NRA and let (don't force) her read the Armed Citizen column.
2. Shoot more often.
3. Find someone from her family who also likes guns and go shooting with him.
4. Invite your wife to a quick range trip, but do not force anything.
5. When driving at night, intentionally drive through a bad neighborhood and mention that you feel much better if you were carrying.
6. Realize that she will not change over night.
7. Whatever you do, do not antagonize her or put her in a defensive position, even if your arguments are logical and hers are emotional.
8. Realize that she will not change over night.
9. Invite her to an INGO gathering so that she can see that people who carry are not the stereotype that the entertainment industry would have you believe.
10. Realize that she will not change over night.
11. Realize that may never enjoy shooting, which is fine.
12. Realize that she will not change over night.

Good luck.

 

[indytechnerd]

Did it say they required a LTCH to take the class? Or are you just referring to her transporting it there?

If transportation is the issue, I'm sure she could arrange to borrow a G19 when she gets there, and I can provide all the other gear she'd need.

Or maybe find a non-female-specific course closer to home that you two could take together at the same time?

I think that's the way to go. Besides, that's an easy way for me to get some refresher training.

Some ideas:

1. Join the NRA and let (don't force) her read the Armed Citizen column.
Good call, I need to renew my membership anyway.
2. Shoot more often.
This will definitely be happening. Already informed her of that.
3. Find someone from her family who also likes guns and go shooting with him.
Not likely to happen. I think they would have a worse reaction than she would.
4. Invite your wife to a quick range trip, but do not force anything.
This goes along with #2 and the above response to esrice. She may be open to that.
5. When driving at night, intentionally drive through a bad neighborhood and mention that you feel much better if you were carrying.
Gonna have to disagree on this one. I can see this turning into a HUGE issue. Intentionally driving into a bad area, then commenting that I'd feel safer armed would be met with "Well we didn't have to drive into this bad area, dumbass."
6. Realize that she will not change over night.
I don't expect her to. This is well outside her usual operating parameters.
7. Whatever you do, do not antagonize her or put her in a defensive position, even if your arguments are logical and hers are emotional.
This is why I've let the subject slide for now. She's open to taking a training course and has no issues with me owning and shooting at the range, so I'm not going to push my luck.
8. Realize that she will not change over night.

9. Invite her to an INGO gathering so that she can see that people who carry are not the stereotype that the entertainment industry would have you believe.
I think I've mentioned the family picnic coming up. Hopefully, we can get something worked out before then and I can bring the whole famn damily.
10. Realize that she will not change over night.
Gotcha, I think you're on to something
11. Realize that may never enjoy shooting, which is fine.
Already accepted this, and have no issues with it.
12. Realize that she might not change ever.
FTFY - I think I need to be realistic and understand that she may never be 'cool' with it.

Good luck.
Thanks

 

[indytechnerd]

From an Instant Message from my wife yesterday, unrelated to the topic we were discussing...

i'm warming to the idea of you having a gun with you. not there yet, but i've been thinking about it.

I haven't brought the issue up at all.

 

[Lt. Commander]

This may have been covered in a thread before but... I have some friends that become very uncomfortable with the mention of firearms or me carrying one, sometimes to the point of them wanting to be confrontational about it. (Keep in mind that i am in college) I do not carry on campus at all, (due to legality) but do most of the time when I am out eating and so forth. I am in a fraternity and rarely carry over there because well some of them are just plain idiots...... Should I push the issue to make it seem more normal or would I be better off just to leave there thoughts to themselves and keep doing what I am doing? Its not really affecting anyone around me and I carry concealed so I guess I just do not see what the big deal is....

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Digression maybe your best move at this point in your life. The less your friends know the better given they don't understand things about guns the way you do. Keep things concealed and out of sight and conversation. If it comes up, redirect the topic to something else...


Scott

 

[henktermaat]

From an Instant Message from my wife yesterday, unrelated to the topic we were discussing...I haven't brought the issue up at all.

 

[henktermaat]

Digression maybe your best move at this point in your life. The less your friends know the better given they don't understand things about guns the way you do. Keep things concealed and out of sight and conversation. If it comes up, redirect the topic to something else...


Scott

I agree - and I think you'd have a lot more "pull" the more time passes while you carry without them knowing. If it ever comes up in the future, and you think they're receptive - you can drop the news on them.

 

[Old Salt]

Seven years ago I was in the Navy on a WestPac tour. My wife was back in Indiana staying with her daughter. During this time my stepdaughter was going through a bad marriage. She bought a gun and committed suicide.

When I retired, my wife freeked when I wanted to get a shotgun for hunting. I understood and used a bow all season. The next year she was OK with me getting the shotgun.

I work on the southwest side of Indy and whenever the news came on with a report of crime on that side of town I always commented on how unsafe I felt driving to and from work. After a while she said "Why don't you get your permit and carry in the car?" Two months later a package arrived with a Milt Sparks VMII hoster. She asked what it was for and I told her I followed her advise a got the permit and a gun.

This last Christmas she bought me a nice gun safe for my pistols, rifles, and shotgun. She still doesn't feel comfortable around guns, but with us it's out of sight out of mind, and she gets better every day. But to be honest she feels uncomfortable with a knife on the counter.

Just take it slow, don't be confrontational, and it will work out.

 

[IUGradStudent]

From an Instant Message from my wife yesterday, unrelated to the topic we were discussing...I haven't brought the issue up at all.

Trajectory looks good, man! I say don't push on it -- just let gravity pull it along!

 

[revance]

Here is my story, sorry for the length.

My wife started out absolutely horrified of guns.

I had been shooting before but never really considered getting into it because it was so expensive. Then her brother joined the shooting club at his university and introduced me to the .22lr. I started shooting with him because it was cheap (club provided the guns) and of course later wanted my own gun. She was horrified with the idea. I was bad and let it turn into a fight when I shouldn't have but she actually started looking at gun safes after I had gone to bed, woke me up at like 2am to tell me she found a gun safe that looked "ok" and maybe it would be alright. I have to say I was quite amazed, especially when I wasn't exactly sensitive that night (I still feel a little bad about it). So I ended up getting a 22 pistol and just let guns and self defense come up every once in a while. Her brother in the meantime was building quite the gun collection and began carrying.

As time went on she started to turn into quite the 2nd Amendment advocate. She started to point out how stupid it is to have "gun free" zones because only the law abiding obeyed. I think part of it was she realized that being a gun owner is not taboo. She found people she worked with have guns, friends had guns, LOTS OF NORMAL PEOPLE HAD GUNS.

I never really had "the talk" about carrying and am not 100% sure she knows I do it all the time. I started out carrying my Sig P226 on walks and I'm sure she had to notice a few times when she put her arm around me. Then just recently she bought me an LCP for my birthday... she MUST know there is only one purpose for that gun. She knows I bought holsters for it (again, only one reason to have those). I have also made comments about not being happy we have to go somewhere they don't allow guns. Recently we went to a Pacers game and I expressed my displeasure that we were going to be walking around downtown at night (parking garages etc.) and I couldn't have my new LCP because it wasn't allowed in Conseco Fieldhouse. So while we never actually had "the talk" there is definitely a certain level of acceptance of it. I have also convinced her to get her LTCH in case 1) she ever needed to transport my guns or 2) she ever decided she absolutely NEEDED protection right then.

It didn't hurt that while we were buying my LCP she ran into an administrator from one of the schools she teaches at and found that they also had an LCP for carry. If you are reading (you know who you are)... thanks.

Whew... I doubt anyone read all that.

 

[esrice]

Whew... I doubt anyone read all that.

Nope. Reading the posts here bore me.

I'm just here for the bacon.