Confessions

[Kutnupe14]

I've had my *** beat once. March 23rd, 1976.

When the doctor slapped me on the ***...... and I'm lookin' for him!

 

[kawtech87]

My fiance calls TV shows movies and talks about the characters as if they are real and it drives me nuts.

 

[churchmouse]

My fiance calls TV shows movies and talks about the characters as if they are real and it drives me nuts.

Welcome to my world.

 

[GodFearinGunTotin]

I've had my *** beat once. March 23rd, 1976.

When the doctor slapped me on the ***...... and I'm lookin' for him!

Everybody's that ever whooped my *** is dead now. I probably shouldn't say any more about that.

 

[MuddyINGOGirl]

I'm still not really sure what the former and the latter means exactly.

I hate giving my husband extra space on the dresser top. I need it more.

 

[KG1]

I have a confession to make. My name really isn't Brain Williams.

 

[findingZzero]

I think this is the funniest thread I've ever read on INGO!

I'm always telling my wife I'm not gay. And I'm not.
I like Barbra Streisand's voice. And I'm not gay.
I thought Michael Jackson was incredible and I'm not a pedophile.
There really aren't any bodies buried in my back yard, even though I do live on the west side.
I'm a WW2 wannabee even though I was only 2 when it was over.
I love my dogs and touch them a lot, but it's not sexual. I'm petting Lilu's soft warm belly right now as I'm typing this. I'm also playing soccer with her.
My wife is 15 yrs younger, but more mature. I'm pretty sure she knows it.
I really am a troll.
I've never made love to a corpse. And it's not on my bucket list.
My wife thinks I talk too much. I do.
I talk to strangers and find it fascinating. Sometimes if I pick the wrong person, it's hard to put the genie back in the bottle. This used to embarrass my kids. Still does. Usually when there's no one there.
I like my life, but never found my passion. Does sex count?
No, that's not it either.
I listen to NPR all day. I wonder if I'm afraid to hear my own thoughts.
The neighbor's dog talks to me, but I don't understand what he is saying.
I'm 71. Sometimes I think I'm running the clock out.
I still love to play. I prefer it to working.
I love Brasilian jazz and Bluegrass.
I fell on my head once and saw stars, but they were round, not pointy.
In my dreams I can fly. There is a secret.
In my dreams my car is stolen, or I can't find it. Or I can't find my way home.
I'm very competitve, but hate to compete.
I think I'm a JackWagon, or a troll. Maybe both.
I find it easier to talk to woman than men. Probably because my older brother never looked out for me and my father was pretty much not there.
I find vulnerability sexy.
In general i like myself. Specifically though, not so sure.
Gonna skip the session this week. Thanks.

 

[rhino]

I sometimes wonder if I might not actually be a functioning psychopath.

One man's psychosis is another man's alternate view of reality.

 

[MAJB Retired]

Staple Gun - that would be my solution if it were allowed.

I like the way you think!

 

[MCgrease08]

I sometimes wonder if I might not actually be a functioning psychopath.

[video=youtube_share;jOyAndLa5HU]http://youtu.be/jOyAndLa5HU[/video]

 

[MCgrease08]

I'm still not really sure what the former and the latter means exactly.

I say, "you can have steak or chicken."

If you want steak you say, "I'll take the former."

If you want chicken you say, "I'll take the latter."

Former means first choice. Latter means second choice.

 

[ruger1800]

I ate a banana from the side.

 

[Mgderf]

I have to take a club with me when I shave just to keep me from cutting my own throat.

 

[bigelowe]

I think my boss is a tool, and often think about punching him in the throat.

 

[chezuki]

I just fired bigelowe.

 

[mbills2223]

I just fired bigelowe.

pleasebetruepleasebetruepleasebetrue

 

[yote hunter]

I'm a lesbian rapped in a mans body... Really I am. I was born at the wrong time, I would of more then likely been a mountain man and had a Indian squaw as a wife.... My wife is part Indian.

 

[jsharmon7]

When people are telling me a story and ask me if I'm familiar with a specific movie/song/situation/etc. I'll claim that I do just to keep their story moving along. I usually have no idea what they are talking about but will chuckle or say "ohhhhh yeahhhhh" anyway.

Them: So do you remember my friend Ted?
Me: Mmhmmm. (No idea who Ted is)
Them: He died in a fiery plane crash.
Me: Oh that's terrible, he was a really cool guy.

 

[jdmack79]

I don't care about peoples personal problems. I just nod my head and hope they shut up quickly.

 

[freekforge]

In 1st grade i carried a chicken patty out of the cafeteria at school...I was so unbelievably scared.

I say the pledge and the oaths i have taken before i go to bed every night

I have a hard time talking on the phone and avoid it at all costs.

my senior year the girl i liked asked me out and i accidentally said no because i was in shock.

when i found out i couldn't join the military i cried for a short time as did my friend/recruiter.

i've never done any illicit drugs.

I watched the lady testing my pee for drugs because i didn't trust her.