Twas the night before Christmas and all through the realm,
The peasants were vexed with no one at the helm.
The Cletii coonfingered their sidearms with glee,
And broke the Four Rules with impunity.
When all of a sudden did footsteps abound,
I ran like the clappers to check out the sound.
Flipped on the light with gun at low ready,
And there stood a barrister, regal and steady.
A satchel of legal pads flung on his back,
Decked out like Lord Nelson, sharp as a tack.
So nattily clad with a sarcastic smirk,
I knew straightaway that it must be Saint Kirk.
"My visit this evening is no cause for sweat,
So holster it, ya hooligan, I'm not a threat.
I bring you no trinkets, but books for perusal;
Your homework assignment, and I'll brook no refusal.
For knowledge, reflection, and impulse containment,
That you may avoid any future arraignment."
"First let us review as a matter of course;
My First Law of the Internet still is in force.
I've said it before, let me make it quite clear:
The statutes of Tejas do not apply here.
Each time someone screws it up, Rhino owes me
A fresh case of .45 in ACP."
"Oh, one more thing. If events should transpire
Toward your overnight stay in the gaol of the shire,
Of my long-standing dictum you yourself should avail:
Keep your baconhole shut, 'n' you won't have to post bail."
The peasants were vexed with no one at the helm.
The Cletii coonfingered their sidearms with glee,
And broke the Four Rules with impunity.
When all of a sudden did footsteps abound,
I ran like the clappers to check out the sound.
Flipped on the light with gun at low ready,
And there stood a barrister, regal and steady.
A satchel of legal pads flung on his back,
Decked out like Lord Nelson, sharp as a tack.
So nattily clad with a sarcastic smirk,
I knew straightaway that it must be Saint Kirk.
"My visit this evening is no cause for sweat,
So holster it, ya hooligan, I'm not a threat.
I bring you no trinkets, but books for perusal;
Your homework assignment, and I'll brook no refusal.
For knowledge, reflection, and impulse containment,
That you may avoid any future arraignment."
"First let us review as a matter of course;
My First Law of the Internet still is in force.
I've said it before, let me make it quite clear:
The statutes of Tejas do not apply here.
Each time someone screws it up, Rhino owes me
A fresh case of .45 in ACP."
"Oh, one more thing. If events should transpire
Toward your overnight stay in the gaol of the shire,
Of my long-standing dictum you yourself should avail:
Keep your baconhole shut, 'n' you won't have to post bail."
