Accused of being a Racist

[shawkpilot]

A zebra died and went to heaven. It asked God am I a black horse with white stripes, or a white horse with black stripes? God said, "my son, you are what you are." Confused, the zebra asked St Joe what the meant. He said simple, you're a white horse with black stripes. If you were black God would have said "You is what you is."

Flame away, I've got one for every race, creed, color, sports fan, etc.....

 

[rhino]

Here is what happened. A guy at work says: "I used to have a black cat with a small white dot on it, I called him 8 Ball". My young black female co-worker says "I had a friend that had a cat named 8 Ball". So I say "Was it called 8 Ball for the same reason?" and she flipped on me and said that I was a racist and that was a racist remark. I tried to apologize and explain, but she said for me to leave her alone.

First of all, I maintain that every human who is capable of detecting differences in appearance is racist to some degree on some level. To assert otherwise is disingenuous at best. It's a natural manifestation of bonding with those who are "like" and on the other end of the spectrum, people who deliberately bond with those who are "unlike." It's neither positive nor negative. It is what it is, and we'd be far weaker as a species if we did not recognize such differences.

The key to this is how we allow it to affect our lives and how we treat other people.

Given that, HOW THE F*** did anyone twist "racism" out the scenario above? WTF??

The person who accused you is the one with the problem. Of course, that doesn't help much. As a society, we've been brainwashed into believing that racism is the ultimate social sin. It's not even closee, but I digress. Even though we intellectually know otherwise, we can't help but feel shame when someone brands us as "racist" because we can't shake the emotional baggage from the indoctrination.

I don't see an easy way to deal it. The simple and perhaps most effective solution is to embrace that there are differences among people that are shared by groups, we will naturally categorize and place values on those differences, and then we can either allow them to affect our lives negatively or not. Accept that reality, realize that you're not "racist" in the sense of the pejorative since you absolutely did not intend your comments in any such manner, and move on. Simple, yet. Easy? Not so much.

 

[Roadie]

First of all, I maintain that every human who is capable of detecting differences in appearance is racist to some degree on some level. To assert otherwise is disingenuous at best. It's a natural manifestation of bonding with those who are "like" and on the other end of the spectrum, people who deliberately bond with those who are "unlike." It's neither positive nor negative. It is what it is, and we'd be far weaker as a species if we did not recognize such differences.

The key to this is how we allow it to affect our lives and how we treat other people.

Given that, HOW THE F*** did anyone twist "racism" out the scenario above? WTF??

The person who accused you is the one with the problem. Of course, that doesn't help much. As a society, we've been brainwashed into believing that racism is the ultimate social sin. It's not even closee, but I digress. Even though we intellectually know otherwise, we can't help but feel shame when someone brands us as "racist" because we can't shake the emotional baggage from the indoctrination.

I don't see an easy way to deal it. The simple and perhaps most effective solution is to embrace that there are differences among people that are shared by groups, we will naturally categorize and place values on those differences, and then we can either allow them to affect our lives negatively or not. Accept that reality, realize that you're not "racist" in the sense of the pejorative since you absolutely did not intend your comments in any such manner, and move on. Simple, yet. Easy? Not so much.

Could not agree more. Your posts are always well spoken and insightful. You Sir, are a gentleman, and a scholar.

Thank you for your input.

 

[flagtag]

There are so many words/phrases that could be considered "racist" and we might not even know it unless someone "complains".

For example: at my workplace, we have been calling each other (women - black, white, Hispanic, whatever) by our first name with "May" or "Mae" attached - such as "Linda May", "Connie Mae".
Only last year (worked there for 12 years before anything was said) did I learn that the "Name" May/Mae was offensive to some blacks because many slaves were named May/Mae. But no one said anything or complained.

How many other words or phrases can be used to call the "racist card"? (No, I really don't want a list - just saying....)

 

[JakeJ277]

Its funny you mention her slamming Mexicans all day long. Has anyone else noticed that it seems to be okay for non-white cultures to be blatantly racist but not white people? Weird world we live in. I'm a white kid who, possibly by upbringing or just good people around me, didn't really even what racism was until I left high school and we had plenty of different colors in my high school. Came to college and had people be racist towards me. To this day I don't know if it was because they assumed I was racist or just a "chip or three" on their shoulders and looking for some white boy to unload on. This stuff makes my head spin.

 

[semperfi211]

I think Operation Push PC police may have discovered this thread. Jesse Jackson will be PMing you with a PO box to send a generous check. Then they can send you a receipt to verify that you are not a racist.

 

[Roadie]

I think Operation Push PC police may have discovered this thread. Jesse Jackson will be PMing you with a PO box to send a generous check. Then they can send you a receipt to verify that you are not a racist.

I can just see it now:

"Hi, I am Rahvrand Jahksun. Do people think you are a racist? We can help! For the low low price of just $39.95 I will send you a personal certified endorsement that you are a part of my Rainbow Coalition. Also, for just $4.99 more you can also recieve your wallet sized, laminated version of our endorsement. It has the Ranbow Coalition logo on the front, with the statement 'This person is NOT a racist' on the back, with my signature. Act now, quantities are limited!"

 

[hookedonjeep]

WOW! Your best bet is to get back in her good graces.....

Walk up behind her, smack her on the ass firmly enough to leave a hand print, and when she spins around; with both hands, firmly grasp her breasts and pinch the nipples. Shout out in your loudest voice possible how madly in love you are with this Nubian Goddess, and that you are frustrated because she won't return the attention.

Obviously, I am kidding. NO person, of sound mind, would do that at work.....regardless of race, creed, color, etc., etc., etc. And that is exactly the point. It sounds reasonable that the female in question is looking to build a lawsuit based on racial bias, and is planning on using you as cannon fodder....... she only needs to establish a history of abuses at work, one long enough to get her unemployment approved, and possibly get an out of court settlement out of senior management.....
However, if you DID do what is suggested above, you WOULD be helping her cause (and therefore befriending her) as you would open up the sexual harrasment frontier, and a MUCH larger payday!

Best of luck!

 

[hornadylnl]

Back in high school, many of the students would walk around the halls before class started. There was a black girl in my grade and she said "Hi, Mr. So and So" and laid it on really thick. I looked over at her and said "brown noser" and she looked back at me and said "Ya, I know" jokingly. We were walking the opposite directions. I instantly felt about half a cm tall when she responded with that. When I met up with her again, I apologized to her and told her that I didn't mean it in a racial way and she said she knew that. That girl was smart enough to look to the intent of my comment and not try to read too much into it. I'd hate to guess how many people would have blown my comment out of proportion and use it against me knowing full well that my intent was not bad.

 

[flagtag]

I think that most people know where the "brown" in "brown noser" comes from and only the most desperate would try to turn it into a "racist" comment.

 

[jeremy]

I worked with a black female in the Army who was one of the most racist people I have ever met. When I first got into the unit people were scared to even be around her, let alone speak in her presence. Why? Because she would drop the race card in half a heart beat. But she had no problem calling anyone a derogatory name. We had to sit in our yearly EO briefing. When she referred to my crew as the rednecks mechanics. Now normally it does not bother me to be called anything. But her tone just turned your guts. I asked her politely to not say that again. Within 10 minutes she had said it several more times.
The SGM Stomped on her. He told her to shut her racist black ass!
The SGM was a good old farm boy from Mississippi, and blacker than the ace of spades.

 

[NWI40cal]

Nevermind.....My fault I was refering to a speedball, not an 8-Ball.

I was wrong!!!​

I was going to correct you, but you beat me to it. That was Dave Mustaine's favorite back in his hayday. (Megadeth for those who don't know)

 

[Roadie]

Contrary to some beliefs, ANYONE can be racist. I had a co-worker years ago. He was a young black man, younger than I, yet in the same Tier II support position as I. When we first started working there, we had to wear ties to work.

Well, he used to come into work some days SO mad because all his friends used to say things like "sell out" Uncle Tom" "nice White boy uniform you got there". He lost some friends because one day he blew up at them and said: "You guys b!tch all day long about how the white man got you down, and it's unfair, blah blah, and when one of your own actually starts to make something of himself, you call him a sell out??"

What a crazy mixed up world we live in when someone can rise above their challenges, and get ridiculed for it.

 

[Annie Oakley]

Actually, that's a "speed ball". An 8 ball is an eighth of an ounce
Don't ask me how I know, it's LONG in the past.
Edit: Oops, didn't see I was beaten to the punch

I mentioned that I had a biracial son, and she said "So, you can still be racist".

However, I did try to apologize again, even though I don't think I did anything wrong, and she accepted it. Things seem a little less tense here now, but I still have the documentation email I send to my boss to "CYA".

Thanks everyone again for all the advice, it is MUCH appreciated.

She was wrong to pull the card. You did good in trying to apologize though especially since in the past you have had a good relationship with her. It really sounds to me like she had something else working on her and your comment just tipped her over. Hope that is all it was but sorry you got hit by it. CYA is always a good thing to do in any situation similar to this. Hope the coworkers come around. Bigots come in all colors.

 

[Doug]

Yeah, racists come in all colors, but only the caucasion ones get fired.

 

[rhino]

The primary difference between a brown-noser and a sh**head is . . .

. . . depth perception.

 

[BE Mike]

The best thing to do would be to let your calmly inform your boss. You say you've heretofore had a good working relationship with this lady. If she won't talk to you about the incident, I'd buy a card for her. In it I'd explain that you had no intention of hurting her feelings and that you apologize and would like to rebuild your working relationship. There is a good chance that your comment had nothing to do with her over-reaction, but it pertains to something else going on in her life. Take the high road. You'll feel better, and she will in all likelihood appreciate it.