I spent the majority of my life disregarding those little voices in my head. Diagnosed as hyperactive as a kid (pre ADHD) I've always just attributed them to something wrong or different with my brain, a minimal distraction at worst. That changed about six months ago and a lot has changed with it. I won't go into lengthy details or get preachy but wanted to share this story, maybe it's meaningless or maybe it'll get a few people thinking.
The weather is garbage out here today. 21*F and 20mph steady wind had me trying to decide if I should put the horses out or leave them in until the wind relents. They don't have much to block the wind and they're pretty pampered so this isn't an unusual decision. I decided not to be in any hurry to put them out and was helping my wife get the house cleaned up. She had a few trash bags brought down from upstairs so I decided to take them out. As soon as I cleared the back door the wind hit me and if nothing else, solidified my decision to leave the horses in. I walked the trash bags over the the big bins outside and turned them so the wind wouldn't blow the lids open. I was not enjoying the breeze up my tailpipe and was ready to get back inside as quickly as possible, but something, some thing told me to put the horses out. I don't hear it often and when I do it's still very subtle and easy to disregard but it is unique among other "thoughts" that litter my mind most of the time.
I started walking out to the barn, grumbling about the cold and as soon as my nose cleared the threshold of the open barn door I could smell it. Smoke. I looked around the corner of the divider wall I put up a few years ago and saw the heat lamp, which had been providing comfort to the two small 4H piggies my daughter brought home Wednesday was now lying face down in the pine shavings. The aluminum shroud was singed and a dark smoking spot had spread over about a 12" x 18" area of the pine shavings and the piggies were in the opposite corner, still sleeping. I picked up the heat lamp, unplugged it and sat it where it wouldn't ignite anything, grabbed a bucket sitting next to the water hydrant and put the smoldering shavings out.
Our barn, especially pre spring cleaning time is literally covered in a few inches of bone dry hay. Busting bales open and carrying the flakes to the other side of the barn to feed leaves a lot of hay everywhere. Those smoldering shavings were within a couple of inches of getting to the hay and from there the entire barn would have gone up in minutes. We'd have lost our four horses, two goats, both piggies and likely a handful of chickens which like to hang out in there when it's cold.
I'm thankful for that voice. Call it what you will but I know what it is, I know who it is. I'm thankful that I have ears to hear it now, that I know how to listen for it.
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