Things to do in an elevator...

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  • lawrra

    Master
    Rating - 100%
    5   0   0
    Mar 28, 2009
    4,339
    38
    Huntington
    The recent "Things to do while in a public restroom..." thread has inspired me to post this...

    Things To Do On An Elevator

    1) CRACK open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask "Got enough air in there?"

    2) STAND silent and motionless in the corner facing the wall without getting off.

    3) WHEN arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you're embarrassed when they open themselves.

    4) GREET everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or her to call you Admiral.

    5) MEOW occasionally.

    6) STARE At another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: "You're one of THEM" - and back away slowly

    7) SAY -DING at each floor.

    8) SAY "I wonder what all these do?" And push all the red buttons.

    9) MAKE explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

    10) STARE, grinning at another passenger for a while, then announce: "I have new socks on."

    11) WHEN the elevator is silent, look around and ask: "Is that your beeper?"

    12) TRY to make personal calls on the emergency phone.

    13) DRAW a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers: "This is my personal space."

    14) WHEN there's only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder, then pretend it wasn't you.

    15) PUSH the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.

    16) ASK if you can push the button for other people but push the wrong ones.

    17) HOLD the doors open and say you're waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say "Hi Greg, How's your day been?"

    18) DROP a pen and wail until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream: "That's mine!"

    19) BRING a camera and take pictures of everyone in the lift.

    20) PRETEND you're a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the Passengers.

    21) SWAT at flies that don't exist.

    22) CALL out "Group hug" then enforce it.
     

    Jack Ryan

    Shooter
    Rating - 0%
    0   0   0
    Nov 2, 2008
    5,864
    36
    A friend once bought a grenade pin at the surplus store and liked to keep it tied on one of the ties on his vest he wore hiking. Kind of a survivalist type of hiking guy. Inevidably he would meet people in the forrest while he was out there screwing around and some one would notice.

    "Is that a grenade pin there?"

    "Grenade pin? MY GRENADE! WHERE'S MY GRENADE..." While franticly looking around on the ground. Normally this was the end of the conversation.

    Might be funny in an elevator where they couldn't run...
     
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