Some political jokes

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  • mikea46996

    Shooter
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    0   0   0
    Jan 28, 2009
    1,750
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    Winamac
    Barack Obama was seated next to a little girl on an airplane trip back to Washington. He turned to her and said, “Let’s talk. I’ve heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger.”
    The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to The Obama, “What would you like to talk about?”
    “Oh, I don’t know,” said the Obama. “How about What Changes I Should Make To America?” and he smiles.
    “OK,” she says. “That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff - grass. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?”
    Obama, visibly surprised by the little girl’s intelligence, thinks about it for a second and finally says, “Hmmm, I have no idea.”
    To which the little girl replies, “Do you really feel qualified to change America when you don’t know ****?”
     

    Field King

    Expert
    Rating - 100%
    7   0   0
    Oct 26, 2008
    957
    18
    George Bush, Barak Hussien Obama and Al Gore are walking around the White House lawn for a breifing, Barak looks down and see's a Genie bottle and picks it up. out pops a Genie! The genie says "I will grant u each one wish" Al Gore says " I wish for all man caused carbon emissions to cease and global warming to end" POOF it was granted! Barak Hussien Obama says " I wish to build a protective wall around all of Palestine, Iraq, Afgahnistan, Libya, Pakistan and all the Muslim people" Poof it was granted! George Bush says " Genie tell me about this wall? The Genie reply's " it is 10' thick, solid concrete, 50' tall, nothing can penetrate it's super strong shell " George Bush says " I wish to fill it with water"
     

    semperfi211

    Master
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    1   0   0
    Nov 17, 2008
    3,288
    113
    Near Lowell
    Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One
    is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota.

    All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota
    contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some
    figures with a pencil. “Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $900:
    $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”

    The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I
    can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100
    profit for me.”

    The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White
    House official and whispers, “$2,700.”

    The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other
    guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?”

    The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we
    hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence.”

    “Done!” replies the government official.
     

    JByer323

    Expert
    Rating - 100%
    4   0   0
    Jan 8, 2009
    1,435
    38
    Noblesville, IN
    Three contractors are bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. One
    is from Chicago, another is from Tennessee, and the third is from Minnesota.

    All three go with a White House official to examine the fence. The Minnesota
    contractor takes out a tape measure and does some measuring, then works some
    figures with a pencil. “Well,” he says, “I figure the job will run about $900:
    $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.”

    The Tennessee contractor also does some measuring and figuring, then says, “I
    can do this job for $700: $300 for materials, $300 for my crew and $100
    profit for me.”

    The Chicago contractor doesn’t measure or figure, but leans over to the White
    House official and whispers, “$2,700.”

    The official, incredulous, says, “You didn’t even measure like the other
    guys! How did you come up with such a high figure?”

    The Chicago contractor whispers back, “$1000 for me, $1000 for you, and we
    hire the guy from Tennessee to fix the fence.”

    “Done!” replies the government official.

    :):
     

    MRockwell

    Just Me
    Site Supporter
    Rating - 100%
    5   0   0
    Oct 4, 2010
    2,829
    129
    Noblesfield
    A young woman brought her fiancée home to meet her parents.

    After dinner, her mother told the girl's father to find out more about the young man. The father invited the fiancée to his study for a little talk. "So, what are your plans?" The father asked the young man.

    "I am a biblical scholar," he replied.

    "A biblical scholar, hmmm?" The father said. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter to live in?”

    "I will study," the young man replied, "and God will provide for us.”

    "And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" Asked the father.

    "I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replied, "God will provide for us.”

    "And children?" asked the father. "How will you support children'?

    "Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replied the fiancée.

    The conversation proceeded like this...and each time the father questioned; the young idealist insisted that God would provide.

    Later, the mother asked, "How did your talk go, honey?”

    The father answered: "He's a Democrat. He has no job; he has no plans. And he thinks I'm God!!!
     
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