Some moms do leave their kids

[gungirl65]

I'm trying to answer a message that didn't give me the ability to respond.

It's not yours or the children's fault she left. Don't believe it. Even if she said hateful words blaming you, it's no one's fault but hers.

Although it doesn't appear to happen a lot some moms do abandon their young children.

I can give you first hand experience why Mom's cut off adult children but not innocent young children.

As a mother we are wired to nurture. It's in our DNA. Or at least that's how it is supposed to be.

Feeling that child kick and grow inside our body typically creates an instant bond and intense love. You almost have to be soulless to not feel it.

Sadly some mothers do far worse then abandon their children. In our surrounding area news a few weeks ago a mother murdered her three young children because her boyfriend didn't want them.

Sadly some women view their children as nothing more than pawns to get what they want. When they are no longer useful they are discarded.

Mothers like this do not truly connect or bond with the children or anyone else. They're actually just skilled actors.

Mentally healthy women do not do things like this. Some people do not have the capacity to love or care for other human beings or living things.

It's a personality defect. It's what true narcissism is. It is like these people have hollow souls.

Throw in a pinch of sociopath and/or psychopath and you have a horrible person.

News flash for those of you who haven't yet seen it firsthand. Some people get their jollies by hurting other people. They enjoy your misery and will do everything in their power to create more of it.

There are people out there who delight in doing rotten things and feel no remorse for their evil doing. They are Satan's disciples.

If someone like this has abandoned you and the children, count your lucky stars and thank the Lord. The trash has taken itself out.

You do not realize how lucky you are that she has left you instead of staying and emotionally abusing and destroying all of you.

In honor of Easter please break these chains of guilt and be reborn. Reading up on personality disorders and the game plans many abusers follow might help you with your healing.

God Bless, Happy Easter

 

[Cameramonkey]

Yeah, it happens. A coworker of mine has a non verbal autistic son. Mom left. Didnt want anything to do with the kid. Even tried convincing the judge that since she wants nothing to do with her spawn, she could give up not only 100% of her parental rights, but also 100% of her parental responsibilities to care for the child both physically and financially. Lucky for my friend, the judge wouldnt have any of her nonsense.

 

[churchmouse]

OK..

Yeah, it happens. A coworker of mine has a non verbal autistic son. Mom left. Didnt want anything to do with the kid. Even tried convincing the judge that since she wants nothing to do with her spawn, she could give up not only 100% of her parental rights, but also 100% of her parental responsibilities to care for the child both physically and financially. Lucky for my friend, the judge wouldnt have any of her nonsense.

OK.....How on Gods good earth does anyone marry an empty vessel such as this.

I get marrying stupid as I did that the 1st go round and man a sack full of hair had it all over that one. Young and naïve.

I get marrying who is manipulative to get what they want. That was #2 but if you saw her I get a pass.....

But lacking any soul what so ever......even dummo and the manipulator had souls.

 

[Cameramonkey]

Yeah, she wasnt right in the head. I think drugs played a part in it. After the divorce she hooked up with a user and started using herself. (not sure what exactly) But that short circuit could possibly be explained by the drugs. The attempt to completely erase herself from her child's life happened after the drugs.

 

[Ark]

I don't have a link handy, but a little while back I went researched and found the interesting factoid that men commit more murders than women EXCEPT in the category of infanticide and filicide under age 8. The most common motives are "altruism" (a corrupted version of that biological bond), spousal revenge, and Munchhausen's or neglect.

The biological bond is a powerful force that is reinforced by culture, and there is major social stigma for women who fail to display this bond. Personality disordered people learn to fake it at a high level of effectiveness, often fooling legal authorities and mental health professionals. Responding to Churchmouse, their high degree of competance at putting on this act is a big reason people are successfully duped into marrying them. These disorders manifest from a young age, and learning to act normal is a matter of survival for them.

And yes, to gungirl's point, if a person like this nopes out and abandons the kids in your care, you have been blessed with the good outcome.

 

[yepthatsme]

Let me throw in another possibility. I have seen women completely change after giving birth. I don't know if it was a change physically due to the extreme changes that women experience during pregnancy and birth or maybe a chemical change in their system that has an effect on their minds. One example of things like this happening is postpartum depression. This doesn't explain all of the instances that have already been mentioned and I'm not trying to create excuses for behavior. I'm just saying that in certain and possibly rare situations, a woman's behavior could be affected by the changes they experience giving birth.

I have seen first hand a woman that loved her pregnancy and seemed to bond with a third child. But after giving birth to that child, her personality completely changed and she became a completely different person. She never could bond with that child and actually ended up leaving her family and losing contact with her other two children. Very sad.

 

[The Bubba Effect]

Some people are just broken. Keep your chin up, GG.

 

[WebSnyper]

Yeah, it happens. A coworker of mine has a non verbal autistic son. Mom left. Didnt want anything to do with the kid. Even tried convincing the judge that since she wants nothing to do with her spawn, she could give up not only 100% of her parental rights, but also 100% of her parental responsibilities to care for the child both physically and financially. Lucky for my friend, the judge wouldnt have any of her nonsense.

There are worse parents. Those that stay in the kids life but only make it worse and won't give the kid up due to selfishness or wanting the got check, etc. They float in and out of the kids life but constantly make it worse. Not saying she did this altruistically, but sounds like the kid is better off without her...

 

[gungirl65]

Some people are just broken. Keep your chin up, GG.

Thanks but this post really didn't have anything to do with me. As stated in an earlier post, I don't swing that way.

I was just trying to help a fellow member understand and feel better about his wife abandoning he and the children.

You are however very correct. Some people are truly broken and cannot be fixed. No matter how much we may love them they do not have the capacity to love us back.

 

[Ark]

As stated in an earlier post, I don't swing that way.

Yeah I don't swing Cluster B either.

 

[gungirl65]

OK..


OK.....How on Gods good earth does anyone marry an empty vessel such as this.

I get marrying stupid as I did that the 1st go round and man a sack full of hair had it all over that one. Young and naïve.

I get marrying who is manipulative to get what they want. That was #2 but if you saw her I get a pass.....

But lacking any soul what so ever......even dummo and the manipulator had souls.

It happens because these type of people appear to be just like you and me. It would be too easy if they had a scarlet N on their forehead.

They know how to play the game to appear normal to get what they want.

They are brilliant actors.

Let me repeat there are people who have no regard for other living beings other than what they can give them or do for them.

Many have no empathy and feel no remorse for their evil ways.

If I do something rotten I feel bad for doing so. That is what makes me human. There are however others who delight in evil deeds and crimes against humanity.

They never feel bad or any remorse for their evil except for when they've been caught and it's convenient.

Often times the abuse and brainwashing is so subtle we don't even know what is happening to us until we're hooked and confused.

Those topics will be covered in trauma bonding 101 and gaslighting 101.

I dated one. In the beginning he was Prince charming which is often the case. Once I was hooked the mental games began.

Once I realized what he was, I started researching personality disorders. Once I identified the textbook patterns it helped me break free and heal.

I am wiser now. Sometimes I think I met that person to prepare me for the 5 1/2 hellish years I would spend working for one.

This F'ed me up more than any man I've ever dated or loved.

This will probably be a future thread if I can't shake that monkey on my own.

 

[KokomoDave]

My son's soon-to-be ex bailed on him and their son. Crazier than bat crap. See ya! She never asks to see my grandson. My son was granted emergency full custody because she won't even show up for court. She is going to catch a contempt of court charge.

 

[churchmouse]

It happens because these type of people appear to be just like you and me. It would be too easy if they had a scarlet N on their forehead.

They know how to play the game to appear normal to get what they want.

They are brilliant actors.

Let me repeat there are people who have no regard for other living beings other than what they can give them or do for them.

Many have no empathy and feel no remorse for their evil ways.

If I do something rotten I feel bad for doing so. That is what makes me human. There are however others who delight in evil deeds and crimes against humanity.

They never feel bad or any remorse for their evil except for when they've been caught and it's convenient.

Often times the abuse and brainwashing is so subtle we don't even know what is happening to us until we're hooked and confused.

Those topics will be covered in trauma bonding 101 and gaslighting 101.

I dated one. In the beginning he was Prince charming which is often the case. Once I was hooked the mental games began.

Once I realized what he was, I started researching personality disorders. Once I identified the textbook patterns it helped me break free and heal.

I am wiser now. Sometimes I think I met that person to prepare me for the 5 1/2 hellish years I would spend working for one.

This F'ed me up more than any man I've ever dated or loved.

This will probably be a future thread if I can't shake that monkey on my own.

I have been addicted to work situations that just totally sucked butt.
Once free it is like a breath of fresh air and freedom. Then we see the crap coming as it usually does and can bail before it gets bad again.

 

[gungirl65]

I have been addicted to work situations that just totally sucked butt.
Once free it is like a breath of fresh air and freedom. Then we see the crap coming as it usually does and can bail before it gets bad again.

I got out 2 months ago. My exit interview picked the scab off of old wounds which I'm currently still licking.

On the bright side, I ran into a former employee yesterday who told me my exit interview has brought about a lot of positive changes.

For a long time I used to think I stayed to protect my team. It looks like by leaving I have protected them by telling the ugly truth.

 

[Haven]

I have some, I guess second hand experience with this.

A close friend of mine got a divorce from his first wife. He got custody of the two kids. The birth mother hasn't had contact with the older of the two kids in probably over 20 years. After the divorce she didn't want to see the youngest of the two ever. The older child decided if she didn't want to see her brother, she wouldn't see their biological mother.

My mother became a surrogate mother to both children while they and their father lived with us for several years. My dad became a second dad to them, and I an older brother, and my sister a older sister to the two as well. Their father became like an older brother to me.

At the youngest wedding a few years ago, during the son and mother dance, he first danced with his stepmom (our friend got remarried), then with my mom. He still views her as another mom. The older child, still spends time with my mother and sister. The two girls are still like sisters.

It has been over 30 years since his divorce, and I am still angry with his ex-wife over her treatment of the kids. I've never told him that.

 

[kickbacked]

Question, do you think this behavior can be identified pre children? For example those that say they dont want children, and then have children later on? Or do you think its a completely different mindset that kicks in after having children?

 

[gungirl65]

Question, do you think this behavior can be identified pre children? For example those that say they dont want children, and then have children later on? Or do you think its a completely different mindset that kicks in after having children?

For the ones who are actually evil I think the evil is always there.

Not all people who leave their children are evil. Sometimes they are just victims of bad circumstances or their own bad decisions.

 

[churchmouse]

I got out 2 months ago. My exit interview picked the scab off of old wounds which I'm currently still licking.

On the bright side, I ran into a former employee yesterday who told me my exit interview has brought about a lot of positive changes.

For a long time I used to think I stayed to protect my team. It looks like by leaving I have protected them by telling the ugly truth.

Odd how that works is it not.