IBTL!
There's so much fail in here it's not even funny. By the way, my part time job is Grammar Nazi. I almost cried in this thread. Whoever it was that said "Good night Miss Ester Phipps, wherever you are." Is off base, if you're addressing someone, you separate the name from the rest of the comment using a comma. Therefore, it should be "Goodnight, Miss Ester Phipps, wherever you are." I won't get the rest, but my guess is: Kirk in the kitchen with the 'coon.
Miss Phipps was my seventh grade grammar teacher.
She is probably rolling over in her grave laughing at me.
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Thanks
Mark