Funny things your kids have done...

[RobbyMaQ]

After reading through https://www.indianagunowners.com/forums/break-room/385054-brag-about-your-kids-thread.html and some of the comments, I thought it befitting to create a 'funny things' (or not so bragworthy things) your kids have done...

My son was accident prone up until a few years ago. In preschool, while picking him up one day, we had a note in his locker stating "Ian ran into a brick wall today". He had apparently been running on the playground at recess, and ran headlong into an exterior wall.
3 days later we received another note stating "Ian ran into a brick wall again today"
When I questioned him on it, he exclaimed "I seen it Dad! I seen it this time... but I was going so fast, I couldn't stop in time. So I put my hands out like this!"

I asked "Well Bud? This is the 2nd time you hit a wall this week. What do you think you can do to prevent this from happening again?"

He answered "I guess I just have to stop running outside."

perplexed, I asked "Why would you stop running outside?"

"Because that's where all the brick walls are Dad." he answered.

I just couldn't argue with that logic.


He also used to sleep in a loft bed with a rail (to prevent him falling). On it we had a small 4" fan mounted to keep him cool during the summer nights.
One night he awoke nauseous, and proceeded to puke over the rail... only he vomited into the fan.

LOL that was a rough night for all of us.

 

[churchmouse]

Oh my.....where to start.

 

[RobbyMaQ]

The grandkids with paint on the rug would be good lol

 

[CZB1962]

My lower level is a walkout level with a concrete slab floor. It is fully finished and the bathroom had linoleum while the rest was carpet.

I had been working 7-12s on a shutdown job and basically just ate slept and worked for nearly 30 days. One night I was laying in bed upstairs and could hear my two boys who were about 3 and 5 at the time belly laughing so much that I knew something was up.

I went downstairs and discovered them in the bathroom. They had stuffed two full rolls of toilet paper in the toilet and flushed it so much that it was damned up against the carpet. It was thick carpet and pad so we are talking about 1 1/4 inch of water standing in the bathroom. It was running under the carpet to the garage door and out across the garage floor.

You would have though they were in a water park with all the splashing and playing they were doing.

Truth be told, I did not find it too funny at the time, but I look back on it with a humorous thought.

They are 23 and 25 now and as far as I know, they don't play in the toilet water anymore.

 

[churchmouse]

The grandkids with paint on the rug would be good lol

Hey, yeah.....thanks for that reminder......

 

[Strug]

About two weeks ago I caught my youngest putting Gogurt down the floor register.

 

[EvilElmo]

One day my wife told my 6-year-old son the old saying an apple a day keeps the doctor away. His response was "why, don't they like apple breath?"

 

[Dosproduction]

One day I went out to eat at a half way fancy restaurant with my wife and 2 daughters. My middle daughter was still young about 2 or so. The restaurant had those hard bread sticks that come in individual wrappers in the middle of the table. So while we where waiting for our food I gave my younger daughter one. She proceeded to take a bite then throw the rest on the ground. As I pick it up she throws the wrapper on the ground. I pick this up as well and tell her don't do it again. She then wants another bread stick so I give it to her. She takes a bite and then holds up the other end all while looking at me. I look her in the eyes and tell her she "better not throw it on the ground." She stairs straight into my eyes as her hand with the bread stick slowly moves to position the bread stick above the floor. I tell her sternly "you better not". She keeps direct eye contact with me as she opens her hand and lets it fall.

Another time im eating breakfast with both of my daughters at home. I eat fast and they eat fairly slow. My older daughter tells me " you don't have to eat so fast, No one is going to steal it from you" As she proceeds to take a sausage link off of my plate.

 

[chocktaw2]

I know this fella that had a goat that had 2 kids!

 

[Lucas156]

One of my daughters first full sentences was-"Puppy poops outside"

 

[Fester]

How about being in a swanky 5 star restaurant with a piano player when my 4 year old daughter yells out "I DON'T WANT IT! IT'S YUCKY!", then proceeds to projectile vomit across the table. Good times. Good times.

 

[1DOWN4UP]

Some years back,my wife and I were canning green beans. She would wash them,i would snap them,and fill 5 gallon buckets,and she would wash them again.I was down to being about done,my back was on fire,and my 4 year old daughter says "dad,I washed the beans."I didn't think about it.Next bucket,the same thing,"i washed the beans." She had washed them.....10 gallons ,snapped,with Dawn kitchen detergent. The goats were more than happy to eat the really clean beans.

 

[Bucky623]

We were at a Long John Silvers and my then young son had his paper pirate hat on. He went up to a random woman customer and in his best pirate voice said “aarrrr lady”.

 

[tmfinney]

How about being in a swanky 5 star restaurant with a piano player when my 4 year old daughter yells out "I DON'T WANT IT! IT'S YUCKY!", then proceeds to projectile vomit across the table. Good times. Good times.

I don't know why but I just bust out laughing reading that! I think the mental image sunk in.

 

[Indy_Hunter68]

My wife and I were deciding on what to do one evening, when my youngest son, around 5 at the time, carried his full clothes hamper into the room and said to my wife ' well I know one thing. You need to do some laundry tonight.'
He droppedmit at her feet, turned and walked away.

 

[9mmfan]

My wife and I were deciding on what to do one evening, when my youngest son, around 5 at the time, carried his full clothes hamper into the room and said to my wife ' well I know one thing. You need to do some laundry tonight.'
He droppedmit at her feet, turned and walked away.

That right there is funny!

 

[Bfish]

I don't have kids but heck reading the bragging about your kids thread was fantastic! I am in!

 

[Bigtanker]

While trying to potty train our boy, my wife and I kept telling him not to go in his pants. I walked into his room to find him peeing in the corner. I asked him what he was doing. His reply was "I'm not peeing in my pants dad."

The terminology was changed to go pee in the potty.

 

[mom45]

My son was always getting into trouble. He was an active, mischievous child. I had so many people tell me I should write a book about him, and I guess I should have at least written down some of his escapades as I can't remember the details of so many things.

I did find a remnant of his childhood the other day when cleaning out some old papers. My husband had been babysitting (we were not married at that time) until I got home from work. My son apparently was saying sh*t so he was told to write 100 times "I will not say sh*t". That one still cracks me up...duh...now he knows how to spell it too!

My daughter was so much easier to raise. She was a far more compliant child.

 

[Bigtanker]

My son was always getting into trouble. He was an active, mischievous child. I had so many people tell me I should write a book about him, and I guess I should have at least written down some of his escapades as I can't remember the details of so many things.

I did find a remnant of his childhood the other day when cleaning out some old papers. My husband had been babysitting (we were not married at that time) until I got home from work. My son apparently was saying sh*t so he was told to write 100 times "I will not say sh*t". That one still cracks me up...duh...now he knows how to spell it too!

My daughter was so much easier to raise. She was a far more compliant child.

It seems boys are a bit more trouble until the early teen years. Then they seem to get easier. Girls are the opposite. Once the teens arrive, the challenge grows daily. My mom swears by this logic. My older sister was an angel untill about 13. I was a little terror until about 10.

I can see the same pattern in my kids so far. (6 & 4 y.o.)