*Posted to Craig's List Personals:*
*To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown Savannah) I was the white guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulledthe knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehowcome across this message. I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to **** your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearingthe jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought methat Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brownstinking sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving yourshoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try tomug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, andexplaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of thehomeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itselfin a dumpster. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to knowwhich ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, soI don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I wasabout to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well. So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, soI'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd alsolike to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsideryour choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunchand laundry. Peace! Alex
*To the Guy Who Mugged Me Downtown (Downtown Savannah) I was the white guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over shortly after you pulledthe knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings. I hope you somehowcome across this message. I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to **** your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearingthe jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside. You see, my girlfriend had just bought methat Kimber 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brownstinking sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving yourshoes, cell phone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try tomug us again. I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma" as you had her listed in your cell, andexplaining to her your situation. I also bought myself some gas on your card. I gave your shoes to one of thehomeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet, then I threw the wallet itselfin a dumpster. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cell. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to knowwhich ones. Alltel recently shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, soI don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service. I wasabout to make some threatening phone calls to the DA's office with it. Oh well. So, about your pants. I know that I was a little rough on you when you did this whole attempted mugging thing, soI'd like to make it up to you. I'm sure you've already washed your pants, so I'd like to help you out. I'd like to reimburse you for the detergent you used on the pants. What brand did you use, and was it liquid or powder? I'd alsolike to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsideryour choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky. If you read this message, email me and we'll do lunchand laundry. Peace! Alex
