I need everyone's opinion!! All feedback is appreciated! About my daughter

[Daniel686]

I will make this as short as possible. I'm going through some rough times with my recent ex. We have a beautiful 16 month baby girl. Her mom and I got in a huge fight and she left for almost a week and I had no idea where my daughter was. It has been a month and she dangles my daughter in front of my face. She uses her as a pawn in a game.
I want nothing more than us to be done and just move on with life. She has given my a few overnights and last night changed her mind when we got in another fight through text. Now she says I won't get to see her much until court.
I am an excellent dad and have been there for her even while she was in her mother's womb. I love my little girl with all my heart and don't know what to do. Should I give up fighting because it will be hard on her? I have so many emotions right now. I am so angry that her mother uses her as a pawn to get to me. She should never be used like that. She's amazing. I just don't understand why a women would use her daughter to hurt me. Any thoughts and opinions would be great guys and gals.
Thank you

 

[SSGSAD]

FIGHT, with EVERYTHING YOU have !!!!!

If you have evidence, of bad mothering,

USE it !!!!!

JMHO .....YMMV .....

GET a lawyer, right now .....

Keep all e mail, and text, for EVIDENCE .....

Do NOT say anything, to her face to face,

without a witness, to testify what went on .....

 

[mrjarrell]

It's past time to lawyer up with a lawyer who will ensure that you remain a part of your daughters life, even though your ex doesn't want it. Not only do you have responsibilities, but you have rights, as well. Get with your lawyer and insist that custody either be split evenly or you can even try for full custody. And I'd suggest you stop arguing with the ex via text. Those are written documents and will be used against you. If she starts arguing. Ignore her or hang up. Don't engage, you have everything to lose. Here's wishing you the best of luck.

 

[CHCRandy]

Don't give up on fighting to be your daughters father. Sorry I have nothing else to add or any experience with what you are dealing with..............but I can say, keep fighting to keep her in your life!

 

[Classic]

Lawyer now!

 

[Daniel686]

She is a school teacher. She is a decent mother but has it out for me. Using my little girl as ammo. The story is very deep and could probably be a book. It was her choice to leave. I have an attorney. My emotions keep flying with her. I try to control them but I have never had the most amazing thing in my life taken from me.

 

[bacon#1]

Keep a journal with all the details. No matter how insignificant it may seem. Document everything.

And that really stinks bro. Hope you make it through ok. Just remember it's all about your kid now.

 

[Rookie]

How recent is this ex? It sounds like emotions are running high, but someone has to be the adult and refuse to be drawn into a fight.

 

[hoosierdoc]

Consider how you would feel if you lose access to this girl and her mom gets with some jerk who is an awful dad to her.

Girls need strong and present dads, find a way to be that for her. Like Was said above, get an aggressive lawyer, and get your daughter.

And in Indiana you only need one party's permission to record a conversation, record every interaction with her, including when you try to show up for visitation

 

[Classic]

She is a school teacher. She is a decent mother but has it out for me. Using my little girl as ammo. The story is very deep and could probably be a book. It was her choice to leave. I have an attorney. My emotions keep flying with her. I try to control them but I have never had the most amazing thing in my life taken from me.

Try to remember the end goal is to get the maximum time you can with you daughter, not win the argument today. It takes 2 people to have an argument - refuse to play in that game.

 

[HamsterStyle]

Keep a journal with all the details. No matter how insignificant it may seem. Document everything.

And that really stinks bro. Hope you make it through ok. Just remember it's all about your kid now.

This this this. I have been through it. I am currently going through it again with my wife and her piece of dung ex husband.

MAKE A JOURNAL. MAKE A JOURNAL. MAKE A JOURNAL.

RECORD EVERYTHING. All interactions, in person, email, text, phone calls, etc.... take screen shots. Email them to your self. Every little thing. If you call to talk to the kid and she doesn't answer, record it. If you guys make an arrangement to see the kid, record it. If she backs out, record it. Record all positive interactions. Record all negative interactions.

TRY TO REMAIN UNDER CONTROL. BE THE LEVEL HEAD. It's hard. I know. Do it. It makes life better and easier in the long run. Trust me.

 

[KG1]

Let it be known that you are not interested in an emotionally abusive relationship with your ex. You only want to be a father to your daughter. Don't get drawn into the former. Concentrate your efforts thru an attorney concerning the latter.

 

[stephen87]

Who cares about the battle? Win the war.

Fight with every ounce of energy you have for your daughter.

 

[littletommy]

Some great advice so far! Get an attorney! You have just as much right to your child as she does. Get an attorney! No matter what this woman says, you have a legal right to your child! Oh, and GET AN ATTORNEY! Don't believe all the crap you hear about fathers being screwed over, yes, it can happen, but you get a good attorney, play everthing BY THE BOOK, and you will prevail.

 

[1911ly]

I've been where you are. Don't waste anytime, get a lawyer ASAP. Keep it civil. Bite your tongue went it comes to negativity. Do not fight in front of the child. Do not speak ill of the child's mother when she is with you. Just don't do it! The care and well being of the child is the most important thing. Give her what she needs. Document every penny, and the highlights of all conversions, good or bad.

What the child see's is what it will remember. Be civil, talk with the ex about this if you can. My ex put a big wedge between my and my kids. Looking back I can now see so many things I could have done to help my situation. But 25-30 years ago the moms pretty much had all the say so. not these days.

Never give up! Best of luck.

 

[Old Dog]

You have received the best of information from folks here. Follow it, keep your head, control your emotions, and hold your tongue in the heat of the moment. Don't let it eat at you and follow the advice of your attorney. Best wishes for you and your daughter.

 

[churchmouse]

And.............................................................................................Next time pick a good "Partner"

 

[jd4320t]

Don't give up. Write down everything. Don't be too nice. That time has passed. You have to hold your ground and even push back a little when needed.

I was there in 2003. My daughter was 2.5 and all the motivation I needed. Don't worry about hurting her. Working to be in her life will far outweigh the negatives that will happen.

 

[Daniel686]

Guys what you all have said means a lot! I have been keeping a journal of everything. Times dates, with recordings of our meetings. I have an attorney that was very expensive and one of the best in town that has been patching family law here for 40 years. I won't give up on her! I try to keep the big picture in mind. The long haul of things.

 

[SEIndSAM]

Also, don't argue with your Ex....I mean what's the point.

Do all of your communication via email and your Attorney. Stay away from the Ex and have sound recordings or video if you have to speak/see her. Don't pick up the kid by yourself, have a witness to any pickups/drop offs.

Don't talk to her. Stay away from her. DON'T do anything that gives your crazy ex a chance to ask for a restraining order.