Well, this is certainly an odd way to find out your daughter is dead.

[Benny]

Girl, 17, Murdered At College – Parents Infuriated After Discovering Death While BROWSING FACEBOOK

I don't even know what to say.

 

[Gabriel]

It takes time to plan a death notification and do it right. I'm sure the school called the police and wanted verification of who it was. They also aren't just going to call the parents on the phone and say "Hey, your kid's dead. Have a nice day". They'll likely coordinate it with a police department local to the family, who will then coordinate the notification with a Chaplain. I've done a number of them myself and we don't take it lightly, nor do we rush it. We like to do it professionally and know it was done right.

It only takes a student about four seconds to post a rumor on Facebook.

 

[Solitaire]

It only takes a student about four seconds to post a rumor on Facebook.

There ya go. There is no way for officials to properly notify the family before some moron with a smartphone puts it on Facebook.

 

[Stschil]

It takes time to plan a death notification and do it right. I'm sure the school called the police and wanted verification of who it was. They also aren't just going to call the parents on the phone and say "Hey, your kid's dead. Have a nice day". They'll likely coordinate it with a police department local to the family, who will then coordinate the notification with a Chaplain. I've done a number of them myself and we don't take it lightly, nor do we rush it. We like to do it professionally and know it was done right.

It only takes a student about four seconds to post a rumor on Facebook.

Sorry, this may twist your panties in a wad, but get over yourself. You are not as important as the family. Those calls can be made by someone else at the same time the Parents are being notified. It shouldn't "take time to plan" it should be established procedure. Especially in this day in age where news spreads almost instantly. Call EMT, Call Parents to notify, call everyone else. Parents will have questions, yes, who wouldn't?, but we all know that they cannot be answered quickly.

My nephew was found in his dorm room a few months ago.

http://www.indystar.com/article/201...found-dead-Wabash-College-dorm?nclick_check=1

Aside from calling for medical assistance, my brother was the first call.

Basically, this is how it went:

"Mr Schilling, this is _____ from Wabash College, Sir, I'm sorry to have to call you, but something has happened to your son. No sir, we don't know any details yet, he was found to be unresponsive in his room about 5 minutes ago, medical personnel are enroute, the college emts are there now. No, sir, he didn't appear to be outwardly injured. Yes, the police are being notified by one of my staff as we speak. Yes, sir, I will keep you informed as soon as we know anything else.

It only takes about 4 seconds to pick up a phone and call the parents...

Oh and for what it's worth, it took three months for the official cause of death. He had an allergy to a prescribed medication that stopped his breathing while he was asleep. No OD, no foul play, not drunk, just an accident that couldn't have been prevented.

 

[IncendiaryGunner]

To be completely fair, if someone around me at college had been killed, I would not have likely had their parents phone number.

Then again, I would not have jumped on Facebook to post about it either....

With social media becoming a standard model of communication and commonly accessible on smart phones, I guess I can see some young kid not having the sense to know better and posting about it.

Also, lets not overlook the fact that it has become a homicide investigation... when the chance exists that someone may have been murdered, alerting individuals in the vicinity may not be a bad idea. In the off chance that it led to catching a perpetrator, we would likely consider it beneficial.

 

[CTS]

True story. When he was little my brother in law got hit by a car in front of his school. When they finally tracked down my father in law at work, they told him his son had been hit by a car. His first question of course was "Is he OK" and the lady who called him had no idea and spent 5 minutes keeping him on hold to find out if the kid was alive or even which hospital he had been taken.

So yeah, getting some facts together before you call a family to tell them their daughter is dead is a good idea. We also have zero idea from the articles how long the time period from the discovery to the first call was. If it were a few days, then yeah..they have a legit beef. A few hours, not really.

 

[jsharmon7]

Stschil,

Whose job is it to notify the family that their daughter was found dead in her dorm room?

EDIT: To me, it comes down to how to notify the parents, who are likely not living in the vicinity. It sounds as if this young woman was clearly deceased when she was found. So, the school can call the parents on the telephone, or they can contact their area police department and have a Chaplain tell them face-to-face. I think I'd prefer to be told in person, but everybody is different. In this case, it doesn't sound like it would have mattered as someone posted it to Facebook before any notification could be made.

 

[Stschil]

Stschil,

Whose job is it to notify the family that their daughter was found dead in her dorm room?

EDIT: To me, it comes down to how to notify the parents, who are likely not living in the vicinity. It sounds as if this young woman was clearly deceased when she was found. So, the school can call the parents on the telephone, or they can contact their area police department and have a Chaplain tell them face-to-face. I think I'd prefer to be told in person, but everybody is different. In this case, it doesn't sound like it would have mattered as someone posted it to Facebook before any notification could be made.

I can't say what this schools SOP is, but if its not an official from the College, it should be. I would want noticed as soon as possible, like occured with my nephew. Did my Brother have questions?, sure he did, could the school answer them, no, how could they?. Point is, times have changed, smart phones, social media, texting, etc and their widespread use should be taken into account when establishing procedures for something like this.

Wouldnt you rather be called and told as soon possible, even though your questions can't be answered?

 

[Leo]

The standards of dignity in society have changed drastically in the last few years. Thirty years ago, calling someone about a death or an accident was considered heartless and rude. A proper person would do everything possible to avoid it. Even if a man was injured at work (badly enough that he could not contact his wife personally) I would drive to his home and in addition to dropping the bad news, be there to help however was necessary, like a ride to the hospital, even waiting with them until the Doctors came out. And this was the construction field in the city of Chicago, not some frilly suburban girly store. We used to treat people with the same dignity we would hope our loved ones would receive if we were killed, maimed or dying of a heart attack. We used to be a lot more polite society. I still notify people in person if it is humanly possible.

 

[Hoosier Cowboy]

This type of thing has I'd say almost daily in this new age of texting and social media. Last year I was working a fatal car vs motorcycle wreck in Owen County and the deceased on the motorcycle was from two counties away and the LEO's was having a hard time locating his family based on just the info received from his drivers license. Before we left the scene it was already all over Facebook with details and photos from the scene and the sister of the deceased showed up on scene after seeing her brother's pic and bike posted on FB. Sadly this is the "new age" world we live in and it's only going to get worse. I know several of our local news agency's are always wanting viewers to text,email or post breaking news stories on their Facebook pages so they can be alerted and send a tv crew. Alot of the times when viewers are sending these pics they are showing detailed photos of the scene and vehicles involved. In a small community it doesn't take long before someone realizes who drives the blue Ford Ranger and starts posting that persons name on FB whether it's them or not.

 

[Gabriel]

Sorry, this may twist your panties in a wad, but get over yourself. You are not as important as the family. Those calls can be made by someone else at the same time the Parents are being notified. It shouldn't "take time to plan" it should be established procedure.

There's nothing to get over. My only point is that in the ten to fifteen minutes it takes to make a death notification someone can easily post the incident on Facebook.

I'm still of the opinion that a telephone call to tell someone their loved one is dead is extremely inconsiderate.

 

[jedi]

There's nothing to get over. My only point is that in the ten to fifteen minutes it takes to make a death notification someone can easily post the incident on Facebook.

I'm still of the opinion that a telephone call to tell someone their loved one is dead is extremely inconsiderate.

^This!

Anyone can post to FB/txt a message before officals have time to confirm and locate the next of kin/parents of said person. The article only said the girl was found 15 hours after she died in her dorm room. How much time passed between finding her and the school trying to notify the parents?

 

[Phil502]

When my wifes mother passed away the Sheriff called from her from her moms condo in Florida, the call was made immediately, even before the body was removed. The Sheriff got the number from the speed dial numbers on the phone. From what I could hear from the other side the Sheriff was extremely professional, compassionate and helpful.

 

[MrsGungho]

When my Mother passed, my Father called to tell me. He was kind, caring and heartbroken himself.

I didn't want to hear this news in a phone call. Mom & Dad live 2 hours away though so this was the easiest and quickest way to inform, even though it was inconsiderate.

I would rather have heard it in a phone call then read it on Facebook.

More of the story needs to be told on this girl though. How many hours/minutes had passed before the parents saw this? I won't rush to judge. I've been on the other end of that phone and it hurt, but not near as much if he hadn't called at all and I saw it elsewhere.

 

[Benny]

I'm still of the opinion that a telephone call to tell someone their loved one is dead is extremely inconsiderate.

But EXTREMELY necessary in this day and age.

 

[jsharmon7]

I can't say what this schools SOP is, but if its not an official from the College, it should be. I would want noticed as soon as possible, like occured with my nephew. Did my Brother have questions?, sure he did, could the school answer them, no, how could they?. Point is, times have changed, smart phones, social media, texting, etc and their widespread use should be taken into account when establishing procedures for something like this.

Wouldnt you rather be called and told as soon possible, even though your questions can't be answered?

Me? I'd rather there be a 30 minute delay and be told in person than via an impersonal phone call. Being alone is generally not the best thing for people after hearing traumatic news that their loved one is gone. That's just my opinion though, everybody is different.

According to other sources the girl was found dead around noon and local law enforcement notified her family in person "that afternoon." So the delay could have been 30 minutes or 3 hours for all we know. Whomever found the body could have posted the news to Facebook and sent it around the world before the dispatcher hung up the phone though. How could a policy prevent that? All I'm saying is that I'll jump on my phone and send an update to Facebook, you look up contact information for someone's next of kin and make a phone call, which do you think will be quicker? This scenario really isn't preventable.

 

[LegatoRedrivers]

Hold on, parents have Facebook accounts?! Who told them about the internet?!

Wait a minute... coming to the realization that if I'd had a kid when I was 18 they would be in the double digits by now, age-wise...

OMG, I'M OLD!

I... I think I'm going to sob quietly in the corner for awhile...

 

[DRob]

Here we go again

This has turned out to be pretty handy.

 

[Benny]

This has turned out to be pretty handy.

 

[DRob]

Nice Benny

I believe both statements are accurate. I'm slightly more inclined to believe Albert actually made the statement attributed to him, though.