Talking guns to family/friends

[jedi]

I try the search but can't seem to find the post(s) on this topic. I recall reading one about how to talk to family/friends on the gun topic and someone making a good post something along the lines of...

Why do you have a fire alarm in the house?
Why do you wear your seat belt?
Why do you put on a hard hat when in a construction zone?
All to protect yourself same with a gun (why do you carry).

My dad had a talk with me this week regarding guns. Actually I was blind-sided by the talk. We were eating dinner (just him, me and my 18 month son) and he asked me.

DAD: Do you have many enemies?

ME: Hum.. No, none that I know of why?

DAD: I've been in many bad parts of this county (LAKE) including GARY and have never run into any trouble you know.

ME: ok????

DAD: Does carrying a gun make you feel more like a man? more stronger? like you can defend the world?

(at this point I was a bit taken back I did not see this coming.. I was OC at the time not sure if he knew or not).
ME: Dad it's not for those reason. The economy is getting worse, things are going to get worse. You never know when some crazy is going to appear out of no-where. I carry for the just in case day that I hope never comes. Plus I have to look out for Marcos (my son) as well.

----
At this point the topic ended and we continued eating and he turned on the TV. I'm not sure I convinced him nor am I sure how to re approach the subject.


Mom knows I carry and I have taken her only once to the range where she got to fire various guns during an OPEN RANGE DAY (IL riffle association OPEN RANGE day in Kankakee, IL). Little sister I have taken and she has fired AR-7 and 9MM. She did not really liked it but wants to learn more and buy a gun (age 21 now) as well. There have been threats at work (she is responsible for firing and laying off people) and is beginning to understand that when the dollar finally crashed that the world is going to be a bad, bad place and wants to have some protection at least at home.

I don't live with my mom/dad/little sister. Have my own place and the wife is "ok" with the guns. She knows why we have them and we both have experienced the need to have guns around us. She does not like them but understands the reason for them.

So how to I talk to dad about this? He knows I have guns in the house and based on this last talk I don't think he likes it or understands why I need them.

Thanks

 

[LuckyBrush]

Sorry to hear that. My dad got me interested in guns. My mother is the one who doesnt think we need em. I send her gun related emails, like news stories about citizens defending themselves or others with their guns. She has lightened up Alot!

 

[jedi]

A little more background.
I am first generation gun owner on BOTH sides of the family in the US.
Great Grand Father (mom) side fought in the Mexico Revolution War (farmer) and he owned a basic rifle. Grandparents of both mom and dad do not own guns nor do the kids (aunts & uncles). On wife's side nobody owns a gun and actually my sister-in-law's husband's sister was killed by her husband with a gun and then killed himself.

So guns on either side of the family are taboo per say. Wife's mom & sisters know I own guns but have said nothing to me about it and have only given my wife "the eye" as to why? Wife explained to them the story we both experienced on the attempted burglary several years back and that sort of leaves the issue alone.

I have been hoping to take all off them to the range for a basic gun course but time and money have been the biggest issue on this one.

 

[kingnereli]

I have been fortunate to not have any conflicts with my family. My in-laws are another story. The first step, and sometimes all we can hope for, is to come to a mutual understanding. Each understands where the other stands, but you may want to GENTLY make it aware that your decision doesn't need approval and that the ability to adequately defend yourself is non negotiable.

I wish I could give you more advice. As I said, my only conflict has been with my father-in-law(who won't let me in his house anymore, by the way.) So I hope your efforts are more successful then mine.

 

[hountzmj]

I have no problems with any of my family or my wifes. Most of them aren't into shooting or collecting. But they are hunters.

For friends or acquaintances I tend to use hunting to feel out the issue of firearms. If they are receptive or at least ok with hunting I may mention I have other firearms as well.

 

[kingnereli]

I have no problems with any of my family or my wives. Most of them aren't into shooting or collecting. But they are hunters.

When I first read your post I mistakingly thought it said this.

For friends or acquaintances I tend to use hunting to feel out the issue of firearms. If they are receptive or at least ok with hunting I may mention I have other firearms as well.

.

 

[DiamProducer]

I fortunately come from a family of firearm enthusiasts! My father was LEO, Town Marshall of Middletown back in the 70s. He passed when I was 6. My most prized possession is his old Jennings 22. All his other firearms somehow dissappeared. My stepfather bought me my first gun at 18 (Glock 19C) and bought my mom her first gun the same day. We did have to call her to ask her if I could get it but she was fine. Next day I went and applied for my license. Recently I gave my mom my Glock 27 and she carries that everyday. It is very nice to have a family that understands the reasons to have firearms!

 

[jmiller676]

My girlfriends mom was raised a conservative Mennonite and guns have always been a no-no to her. I started dating her daughter about a year and a half ago. At that time they knew I hunted but didn't know I was really into guns. I got my LTCH and a handgun. I then took her little girl (my gf if you got lost in the previous sentences) to the range. Her parents love me but her mom still says that she doesn't like guns. One time I replied like this. I go I understand how you were raised and know that in your eyes its useless but you have to remember guns aren't bad, people are. I don't think she understands the importance of self-defense yet and it is very FRUSTRATING!!! But, she respects my view and my right to buy, own, carry the gun i choose. All i can say is be patient and polite no matter how mad you may get and how ignorant the person asking may be.

Good luck from someone that is in a similar position.

 

[dsol]

I grew up in a gun owning family, but my mother-in-law is a bleeding heart liberal. When we first talked about guns after the Brady bill passed and she started arguing about how bad guns were, I pulled out my little Ruger SP101 I had at the time. Laid it on the table and sat there saying nothing else. After a minute or so of uncomfortable silence, she asked what that was about. I looked down at it, back up at her, back down at the pistol, back up at her, then said "that thing hasn't jumped off the table and killed anyone has it?" "if they are so bad, why isn't it running out the door shooting up a school or something?". I get along great with her and she has accepted the fact that I am going to continue to carry those evil things.

 

[jmiller676]

I grew up in a gun owning family, but my mother-in-law is a bleeding heart liberal. When we first talked about guns after the Brady bill passed and she started arguing about how bad guns were, I pulled out my little Ruger SP101 I had at the time. Laid it on the table and sat there saying nothing else. After a minute or so of uncomfortable silence, she asked what that was about. I looked down at it, back up at her, back down at the pistol, back up at her, then said "that thing hasn't jumped off the table and killed anyone has it?" "if they are so bad, why isn't it running out the door shooting up a school or something?". I get along great with her and she has accepted the fact that I am going to continue to carry those evil things.

Thats an incredible idea!

 

[barricade]

my dad is fire arms instructor didn't used to think it was cool growing up liked the martial arts so took them for many years then couple years ago started getting into guns and now have that to protect me and my familie also so now i am thankfull for it.

 

[m2hoss]

I think my CC-ing and all the articles about old folks getting beaten and robbed my some young punks have motivated my old man to carry at all times. Mom however, always acts scared of a gun because her stupid brother put a 12ga hole in the floor next to her while cleaning an "empty" gun a loooong time ago. She doesn't question the need, but just says to be careful! lol

 

[dice dealer]

Never really had to have that conversation with family , most of them have atleast a couple guns ,..

But i have had it with several people i work with as well as some friends ..
One guy i work with is an avide golfer

He plays golf everyday he can .

He asked why do you have so many guns you only need one for protection .

I replied it is my hobby to me they are like art
He says " I have no problem with someone owning a gun but people like you have a problem nobody needs more than one gun "

I after biting my lip so hard it almost started bleeding asked him .

Do you only own one golf club ?
He replies No i have 3 complete sets of clubs

I asked him what kind of sickness he has ? why would anyone need more than one club to play golf let alone 3 complete sets ?
After he thought about that he appologized .. and said now i understand



I give those typs of replies to everyone ..

I asked one lady if she owned more than one pair of shoes she said yes
I asked why you only have one pair of feet ?

 

[Slim7]

I'm like dsol. Gun owning family. My mom, my sisters all carry. Dad always has a gun. My wife and her family aren't really anti, just don't get it. The rough thing for me is educating them while trying to educate my kids. The kids are puzzled that Mom and co., are freaked out when they pull out the targets they've hit with pride.

 

[Cantbephaded04]

I am in the same predicament. My mom associates drugs and guns as one entity. She thinks the only people that carry guns for a reason are cops and drug dealers(not that its neccesarilly right). But I try to tell her that besides the hobbyistic and collectable aspects of them they are self defense, home defense, only defense perhaps. And that one day some psycho comes up that will be the one thing you wish and hope is right on your side.

....The first rule to a gun fight: have a gun.....

 

[stilllearning09]

Wow, I'm blown away (no pun intended) . Has your Dad noticed how NWI has changed in the past 10 - 20 years??? I go up to visit family in Da Region every 2 weeks, and I wouldn't go up there without a weapon.
I'm glad your father hasn't encountered any problems (that's a blessing) but every day the Times is full of articles of people who have.
AT first my family showed concern, and I reciprocated by CC. I had it, but they didn't notice it. Over time, they have come to the realization that it is necessary for my and their protection. Good luck.

 

[red_zr24x4]

About 20 yrs ago while the wife and I were dating, I had long hair and drove a old lifted 4x4, and carried a gun. To my MIL I was a drug drug dealer, to me I was a typical country boy. She often asked my wife why I carried a gun.
Fast forward to now, I think My MIL would think something was wrong if I didn't have a gun on or one on top of the tv.

Just explain your views using FACTS time will be on your side.

 

[crmguns]

if you want to carry a gun and you have gone through the proper channels to do so, it dosent matter what any one thinks about it, thats the great thing about this country that we live in.

 

[cosermann]

DAD: Does carrying a gun make you feel more like a man? more stronger? like you can defend the world?

ME: Does not carrying a gun make you feel more like a woman? more weaker? like you're defenseless?

 

[Split]

Reading these comments makes me count my blessings that I grew up in a gun friendly atmosphere. As long as I can remember target shooting was a pastime in my entire family.

I don't hang out with or associate with anyone who disagrees with gun ownership. Maybe a few that don't talk about them or buy them all the time, but they are the same way with Bicycles, Cars, Computers, etc. So they understand a hobby at least.

My fiance has been shooting and reloading since she was a kid, of course her coming from Southern Alabama helped my chances on that one.

Sorry for some of you though, didn't mean to show off Ok so maybe I did a little.