steveh_131
Grandmaster
So this past weekend I was out on our property hunting for mushrooms around noon. As I strolled along a path, the neighbor's mobile K9 tactical alarm and methane production system spotted me and began its pursuit.
In my opinion this creature was half elephant, half bear and half hyena. Fangs bared, it approached my 6 at a startling pace.
At this point my training took over. I dropped my mushrooms and assumed a defensive stance and barked "Stand down, or I will be forced to brandish my weapon!"
The mutant creature was not intimidated by this, so I had no other choice. I drew my Glock 21SF with a picatinny rail and 4.6" barrel from my black leather holster located at 4 o'clock on my hip and supported by my Levi jeans and Calvin Klein brand tactical belt. I also pulled my maglight out and shined it directly in the beast's yellow eyes, and used my tactical laser sighting system to place a bead between the man-eater's beadie eyes. I could smell his fear, fueled by the sight of my superior tactics and equipment (in hindsight it may have been feces). Nevertheless, he continued to snarl and roar aggressively. Glock 21SF drawn, I sliced the pie and flanked him. I took cover behind an abandoned water heater and drew my Blackberry Bold 9000 Series from my BOFP (bug-out fanny pack). I have the M key programmed as a tactical speed dial.
When the dispatcher answered, I sputtered breathlessly, "Mom...mom....there's a d... there's a dog.... I think it smells the food in my bug out bag..."
I decided to hold my defensive position until backup arrived. I ate an MRE from my BOFP and wrapped myself in a rain poncho to stay warm while I waited.
I don't care what you armchair quarterbacks have to say about my tactics, because I know they were spot-on. I have only one question: How do you use those little heaters in the MRE? That spaghetti was disgusting cold.
In my opinion this creature was half elephant, half bear and half hyena. Fangs bared, it approached my 6 at a startling pace.
At this point my training took over. I dropped my mushrooms and assumed a defensive stance and barked "Stand down, or I will be forced to brandish my weapon!"
The mutant creature was not intimidated by this, so I had no other choice. I drew my Glock 21SF with a picatinny rail and 4.6" barrel from my black leather holster located at 4 o'clock on my hip and supported by my Levi jeans and Calvin Klein brand tactical belt. I also pulled my maglight out and shined it directly in the beast's yellow eyes, and used my tactical laser sighting system to place a bead between the man-eater's beadie eyes. I could smell his fear, fueled by the sight of my superior tactics and equipment (in hindsight it may have been feces). Nevertheless, he continued to snarl and roar aggressively. Glock 21SF drawn, I sliced the pie and flanked him. I took cover behind an abandoned water heater and drew my Blackberry Bold 9000 Series from my BOFP (bug-out fanny pack). I have the M key programmed as a tactical speed dial.
When the dispatcher answered, I sputtered breathlessly, "Mom...mom....there's a d... there's a dog.... I think it smells the food in my bug out bag..."
I decided to hold my defensive position until backup arrived. I ate an MRE from my BOFP and wrapped myself in a rain poncho to stay warm while I waited.
I don't care what you armchair quarterbacks have to say about my tactics, because I know they were spot-on. I have only one question: How do you use those little heaters in the MRE? That spaghetti was disgusting cold.
uhhhhhh, you didn't tell us what kind of holster it was.
