New Drive-Through teller machines

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  • spasmo

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    A sign in the Bank Lobby reads: “Please note that this Bank is
    installing new “Drive-through” teller machines enabling customers to
    withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE & FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender.”

    MALE PROCEDURE
    1. Drive up to the cash machine.
    2. Put down your car window.
    3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
    4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
    5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
    6. Put window up.
    7. Drive off.

    FEMALE PROCEDURE
    1. Drive up to cash machine.
    2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
    3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
    4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
    5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
    6. Attempt to insert card into machine.

    7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
    8. Insert card.
    9. Re-insert card the right way.
    10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
    11. Enter PIN.
    12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
    13. Enter amount of cash required.
    14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
    15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
    16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
    17. Write deposit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
    18. Re-check makeup.
    19. Drive forward 2 feet.

    20. Reverse back to cash machine.
    21. Retrieve card.
    22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
    23. Give appropriate one-fingered hand signal to irate male driver waiting behind you.
    24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
    25. Redial person on cell phone.
    26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
    27. Release Parking Brake.
     

    theweakerbrother

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    Bartholomew County, IN
    Don't forget, if it is an automatic transmission that she will attempt to turn it over again while it is still running... thus making the noise from auto transmission hell.

    HAH! The joke is self-defeating. All women drive auto transmissions but not all auto transmissions are driven by women.
     

    Boilers

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    Apr 20, 2009
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    Indianapolis
    My woman goes against most popular stereotypes like that. Glad to say. :)

    Never really on the cell phone. If you (anyone) buy a pay-as-you-go plan, it's a disincentive to be chatty on the phone. So, that's what we have. Every minute costs us money. I frown when work calls her on her cell because we pay for it. But, we end up paying about $8 - $12 a month for cell service while I've heard some ridiculous prices that people pay are $40 and up, or with iPhone, astronomical. (Another reason I don't/never pay for cable/dish. Too freaking expensive)

    But, I did smile at the original post/joke.
     

    spasmo

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    I just thought this little joke was funny. Scutter would have demanded photos if Glocker's post was correct.. hehehe

    We were at a gas station. All pumps were full so we were waiting patiently and while waiting had noticed a car unattended with the pump in the car. Sigh... Much to my dismay, it was a blond headed woman. I was just so disappointed because it was so stereotypical. Pumps don't always click off. She was in there for a few minutes so can you imagine how many gallons of gas could have went all over the place. UGH...

    These jokes I post about women, I find funny. Unfortunately though on occasion I actually see these women that the jokes are about. I, for one, don't think I actually fall into most of the stereotypical women issues but I do have my moments when I say to myself, "What were you thinking?" hehehe
     

    theweakerbrother

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    Bartholomew County, IN
    Pumps don't always click off. She was in there for a few minutes so can you imagine how many gallons of gas could have went all over the place. UGH...

    Depending on the credit card company she used, only 50-75 dollars worth of gas can be used per swipe. If she filled up, that probably doesn't leave that much to piggy back.
     

    spasmo

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    She was inside the building so I don't know if she paid with credit. Oh, well come to think of it though when she came out, she just pulled the nozzle out and put it back so she probably gave them a $20 or something so the pump stopped automatically. But still.. It had to be the blond that was doing something like that.. sigh.. hehe
     

    223 Gunner

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    Jan 7, 2009
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    Red Sector A
    My wife has been guilty of driving with the parking brake on. And when I'm with her I think she hits every pot hole, and man hole cover, doesn't seem to matter that no-one is in the on-comming lane and she could avoid them, but she doesn't. You gotta love 'em.
     
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