Im sick of the yelling & im just done

[Creedmoor]

There comes a time when you must decide to be happy.
Good luck and you have my prayers.

Yep, I make jokes about having a wife, but, It boils down to what you posted and this.
Its better to have left a toxic relationship, then to stay in one. It just affects to many things and people.
Even more so when children are involved.

 

[INP8riot]

People who yell and get angry unrighteously are immature and insecure. I always remember that when the wife yells and it puts me in a better place knowing I'm the better person. I have also given up drinking because I would join her in her yelling while drinking.

I am in control of my emotions and noone can make me angry but me.

 

[Expat]

Prayer sent for strength. Only you can know how much you can put up with. i Hope you can get her help. I got lucky, I got mine committed for treatment. After she was medicated life was a lot better.

 

[tcecil88]

I can totally relate to this as I could never do anything right in my Father's eyes. I will keep you in my prayers. I will say you seem to have a good way to get away from it in your machining skills. I enjoyed the pictures you posted and have always thought about that kind of work. The only difference there would be I think it would be cool to build parts for old guns you cannot get parts for. Keep up the good work.

 

[wtburnette]

Prayers sent

 

[55fairlane]

Mrs Fairlane & I have spent to morning talking and discussing when & how things go wrong. More of an update later.
Thank you all for the prayers, I can feel Christ almighty laying his hands apon me!

 

[KG1]

Mrs Fairlane & I have spent to morning talking and discussing when & how things go wrong. More of an update later.
Thank you all for the prayers, I can feel Christ almighty laying his hands apon me!

I think this is what's needed. Sitting down and having a frank conversation about the way this has impacted the both of you. I would ask you if you have told her the same things that you have shared with us here?

 

[55fairlane]

I think this is what's needed. Sitting down and having a frank conversation about the way this has impacted the both of you. I would ask you if you have told her the same things that you have shared with us here?

Yes I have. A lot has been shared and I believe I love her more today then yesterday & our relationship has improved

 

[KG1]

Yes I have. A lot has been shared and I believe I love her more today then yesterday & our relationship has improved

It's a start. Communicaiton and understanding is vitally important. Wish the both of you continued success in building upon what has been initiated.

 

[Brad69]

I am not a medical professional IME your wife is mentally ill.
You cannot reason with her logic it’s not the real person you are dealing with.
Get her help you are not going to talk it out and god does not have a dog in the fight.
You do not deserve to be treated this considering you do everything. Mental illness is just as hard on her as you.
Best of luck.

 

[JCSR]

I am not a medical professional IME your wife is mentally ill.
You cannot reason with her logic it’s not the real person you are dealing with.
Get her help you are not going to talk it out and god does not have a dog in the fight.
You do not deserve to be treated this considering you do everything. Mental illness is just as hard on her as you.
Best of luck.

I agree. Talking this out will get you a few days peace until she blows up again. I'd be willing to bet this had been the pattern for years. If she refuses help then it's time to eject.

 

[loudgroove]

I hope you aren't married to my ex-wife. All jokes aside. My ex is bipolar. I went to counseling during that time. One thing I learned is... even though it takes 2 to fight, It also takes 2 to get along. Both people need to work to keep the relationship strong. I'm really hoping this works out for you.

 

[Flingarrows]

Praying for clarity and healing

 

[PGRChaplain]

Praying for you Brother!

 

[Indyhd]

All I know is life is too short to have to deal with what you are dealing with.

I hope you both can get the help you need to make things better for both of you.

 

[SnoopLoggyDog]

The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to... book by Harriet Lerner

Read this a long time ago to understand a toxic relationship that I was in. It helped me figure out the motivation behind her behavior and gave me options on how to respond in healthy ways. At one point, I asked her if she would be interested in reading a book about cycles of anger? She replied that she did not have a problem, everyone else was the problem. She never knew that I had alredy read the book, when I asked the question. We soon parted ways.

I can also highly recommend going to counseling to understand and change your situation. Even if she does not, it will help you deal with the underlying issues that add to the tension and how to mitigate it.

 

[WebSnyper]

She replied that she did not have a problem, everyone else was the problem.

This is what I was wondering with OP and his situation. If his spouse has issues like this with everyone then she needs to realize it's her. Same thing for the OP.

 

[Usmccookie]

I love my wife, she is amazing and I’m the problem!
Dealt with a similar situation, it cause a lot of resentment. My wife didn’t do the temper tantrums, but she had her ways. I was miserable, still am a lot.

I ended up going to therapy at a low point. As much as I hate to admit it, it’s actually working. It took a while before I started noticing differences in myself. Even some obvious things like what I was feeling was in fact undiagnosed ptsd, with severe depression and anxiety, add in a sprinkle of adhd and voilà. It turns out I was a big part of the problem. She definitely had work to do herself, but it takes 2 to tango. I projected a lot on to her. I have a reading list a country mile long I can recommend.

TLDR; a little introspection goes a long way.
A little therapy goes as far as you let it.


Good luck and prayers to you friend.

 

[Creedmoor]

Yet more reasons that remind me, not to find a wife.

 

[Mark-DuCo]

My ex wife was like that too, I couldn't do anything right and she wouldn't do anything at all.

There's a reason divorce is so expensive, it's because it is worth it!