High-Speed Malfunction

[indianajoe]

Now there goes Slyde and Kivett. First below me and now above me. In other circumstances, I might have waved as I passed. Slyde told me later that his thought was, “Where the hell does he think HE’S going?” I didn’t wave. I was kind of busy...



Joe Jansen: High-Speed Malfunction

 

[GodFearinGunTotin]

As much as I like football, that is no reason to jump out of a perfectly good airplane.

 

[1911ly]

Holy crap!! The guy sounds like he has nerves of steel. I'd be cleaning my shorts out!

 

[CathyInBlue]

No you wouldn't. If you took the time to <defecate> yourself, you'd auger in and someone else would be cleaning your shorts out. Probably, your mortician. He just ran his checklist and survived. No time to <defecate> himself.

 

[Gluemanz28]

I stand by what I always have said. "I'm not jumping out of a perfectly good airplane" If the engine or (engines) quit and the plan is going down then throw me a parachute and I'm jumping.

 

[Cameramonkey]

Awesome read!

Holy crap!! The guy sounds like he has nerves of steel. I'd be cleaning my shorts out!

Nah... I've had two reserve parachute rides. (out of about 550 jumps...the last one was caught on camera and was pretty cool) Not trying to sound like John Wayne, but you dont freak out. I like to think that (if properly trained) you are moving too fast for your freakout and its still about 60 seconds behind you. Why? Both times it went like this...

PULL! ........................................................
"OK, Thats not right." (mental equivalent to a calm shrug) "well, hope this works.." (literally no time to panic)
CUT AWAY! ARCH! LOOK! REACH! PULL! CHECK!
*FOOMP*
"WOOHOO!!!!"
"OK, THIS looks better. Where's my main canopy and freebag? OK, There they are. (Now I know where to search if they dont land on the field or if one of the others is following my gear to the ground like a good sport). Steer it in... geez, this flies a bit faster than my regular canopy... (they are smaller) oooh! it also doesnt fly as far... not gonna make it back to where I WANT to land... gonna have a bit of a walk... Here comes the ground.... Flare the canopy.... HOLYSH**THISFLARESUCKS!!! TRYTORUNITOUUUUUUT!!!!!... (hit like a ton of bricks) Forget it... Hit too hard..." feet knees face.

About 10 seconds later as you gather up your reserve canopy in your arms, reality finally catches up and lands next to you... Its about that point that you realize fully what just happened and how failure to act meant you wouldnt be standing there.

While not as cool and high profile, on my last reserve ride my freebag (the thing that was "all part of the show") interrupted a little league game by landing squarely on home plate.

Even funnier? My first reserve was an old round parachute in 1999, well into the era of modern square ram air parachutes we use today. I cobbled together a bunch of used parts for my first rig and the round reserve was better than nothing. After that ride those on the ground did the usual... kick into gear and help the poor jumper who had a mal.

One saw my main land and went and grabbed it. But they were all confused... nobody... I mean NOBODY managed to see my freebag. A group of somewhat experienced and novice jumpers started heading downwind toward one of the cornfields they assumed it would have landed in. As the group struck out one of the salty "old" instructors who had been jumping since the 70s yelled to them to ask what they were up to. "We are looking for the freebag!" He started laughing. "Round reserves dont USE freebags! Kinda explained why they didnt see it!

 

[1911ly]

A parachute jump is on the bucket list of things I'd love to live long enough to do! When I was a kid (around 1969-70 or so) we used to have a guy parachute in to the school field a few times a year. He was a WW2 vet and a bad azz dude. He was cool. And was the school janitor! he used a round chute. I always wanted to try it! Bet it is a rush! I envy you.

 

[indianajoe]

Cameramonkey: your stream of consciousness captures it well.

1911ly: good story, too. And goes to show we could reserve judgement on people and be open to their stories. 'Just a janitor' could end up being a Silver Star recipient. Dig it.

 

[indianajoe]

And you're also right, Cameramonkey... If you've trained, it's not fear that you experience in the midst of the event. That's not to say the adrenaline dump after the fact won't have your knees wobbling like a newborn colt.

 

[Cameramonkey]

Aaannnd then you could be these two clueless wonders who strapped a camera to their helmets too soon. Given the camera dude's flying skills (or lack thereof as he repeatedly overshoots) Id say they are 50 jump wonders or so. Prevailing logic is that you dont even think about touching a camera below 200 jumps. Talk about in over your head.

Here is the background. Most modern sport rigs have something called an AAD or Automatic Activation Device. its a computerized barometric sensor that is attached to your reserve parachute. If at 1,000' above the ground you are still in freefall it will essentially pull your reserve ripcord for you. You ALWAYS pull above 2,000... these guys probably should have pulled at 3,000 based on their license. These two idiots took forever to get together. They were so focused on the video cameras and each other that they lost altitude awareness. (the other guy doesnt bother to check his altimeter until he feels his AAD fire) Before they even docked, they were WAY below where they should have just called it off and pulled their main ripcord. I'd say they docked at about 1,100 ft.

Just watching the video my butt was starting to pucker. (notice the guy repeatedly check his altimeter in the corn as if he checked it in the air and it was set incorrectly, causing him to not pull in time)

[video=youtube;V_4Z1M_iG8o]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_4Z1M_iG8o[/video]