Anyone trying to help their children get their own place?

[wcd]

Around here property has as the local media puts it is now unaffordable for the average home buyer. I never understood the concept of having relatives living in close proximity. But my wife and I are thinking there may be something to it? We are looking to help our son when he returns to Tennessee. Our thought is to perhaps subdivide a parcel for him to build on. Unlike my parents we have good relationship with our son and want to do what we can to help.

As far as I can see there does not appear to be any drawbacks? We would subdivide enough so that he could have a green belt exemption. I am just not sure if there are any things real estate wise that we may be overlooking?

 

[Cavman]

If ya can and want and have the space sounds like a good plan. Sound like a great relationship ya have with your child. Id just make sure they're in it for the long haul. I have none families that did it then the kid wanted to move so they sold.

 

[patience0830]

Around here property has as the local media puts it is now unaffordable for the average home buyer. I never understood the concept of having relatives living in close proximity. But my wife and I are thinking there may be something to it? We are looking to help our son when he returns to Tennessee. Our thought is to perhaps subdivide a parcel for him to build on. Unlike my parents we have good relationship with our son and want to do what we can to help.

As far as I can see there does not appear to be any drawbacks? We would subdivide enough so that he could have a green belt exemption. I am just not sure if there are any things real estate wise that we may be overlooking?

Think you know your child, do you? I recommend that you do not endanger your own financial future based on helping a child do something he should earn on his own. You deprive him of the dignity of having truly earned his place in the world. If you plan to die soon, you may not be disappointed. Emotions and business deals, especially those deals resembling enabling, do not usually end well. Things change, people get added or deleted, someone gets hurt or worse. I cannot recommend it. Good luck with whatever you choose.

 

[spencer rifle]

Our kids are mostly doing better financially than we are. The oldest owns his own house free and clear, and the next could whenever. We don’t own land and never had the resources to get any. They are more likely to offer us a house after retirement than us helping them. And one of them already has.
We are willing to help how we can, but our budget determines that will be small help.

 

[planedriver]

Not knowing the details here there a few common considerations. It sounds like you have an unusually good relationship with your son but you don’t mention your daughter-in-law. If there is no daughter-in-law remember there probably will be. If there is one, divorce is a possibility.

Are you prepared to be the on call daycare endlessly?

What happens if your son moves? You may have neighbors from hell move in.

Maybe partner with him on a duplex where the tenant pays for his half of the house in another location until he can afford something else?

There a lot of options if we start slowly.

 

[Nugget]

If you have enough money to be able to buy the property back with a "right of first refusal" type of agreement, it might be OK. If not, I wouldn't do it. As others have mentioned, your son might one day want to sell due to life changes (job, kids, etc) and you end up with new neighbors you never bargained for. Or, maybe he gets divorced and your daughter-in-law keeps the house! (FUN!) Too many unknowns if you ask me. Besides, distance makes the heart grow fonder.

 

[thunderchicken]

If your parent/ adult child relationship is strong enough and the respect level is where it should be, go for it.
Just remember and respect that once it's theirs don't try to control what they do with the property.

Growing up we lived next door to my uncle (dad's brother) and on the other side of my uncle was my grandma. When my uncle remarried a few years after his first wife passed, my parents bought his old house and moved into it. My older brother ended up buying the house we grew up in. His two boys are constantly at our parents house and the grandparents love it. I live about a block or so around the corner and down the street. It works very well for us. If the opportunity presented itself down the road to buy grandma's house, I probably would.
As we all age, having family close has it's benefits.

 

[HoughMade]

If you do this, make sure all utilities and the driveway is 100% separate from yours. Make it a completely separate parcel with no easements necessary as to your remaining land. Even if it is cheaper to combine some things, don't do it.

 

[Mark-DuCo]

How big is the parcel of land? My brother and I split a 10 acre parcel because neither of us could afford the full 10 acres and to build the house and shop we wanted.

We ran into a small issue when we split it. The 10 acre lot is 330 ft wide and very deep. When we were splitting it into a subdivision, I wanted to take the front by the road and he would take the back half. Well we found out that county ordinace requires that any land less than 10 acres that is sold has to have 120ft of road frontage. So you would almost have to just have 2 extremly narrow and long lots. We had to apply for a variance to get it down to where he could just own a 60 ft strip along side my property instead of the 120ft strip.

 

[wcd]

How big is the parcel of land? My brother and I split a 10 acre parcel because neither of us could afford the full 10 acres and to build the house and shop we wanted.

We ran into a small issue when we split it. The 10 acre lot is 330 ft wide and very deep. When we were splitting it into a subdivision, I wanted to take the front by the road and he would take the back half. Well we found out that county ordinace requires that any land less than 10 acres that is sold has to have 120ft of road frontage. So you would almost have to just have 2 extremly narrow and long lots. We had to apply for a variance to get it down to where he could just own a 60 ft strip along side my property instead of the 120ft strip.

200 plus idea would be cut out a parcel for him at the front.

 

[wcd]

If you do this, make sure all utilities and the driveway is 100% separate from yours. Make it a completely separate parcel with no easements necessary as to your remaining land. Even if it is cheaper to combine some things, don't do it.

Yes Shared driveways are a thing around here. We took a hard pass on one place because of the shared drive.

 

[HoughMade]

Yes Shared driveways are a thing around here. We took a hard pass on one place because of the shared drive.

Agreed. The issue is that the property may not always be in the family and sharing a driveway makes the property less marketable and often leads to arguments of maintenance. Best to avoid that mess.

 

[wcd]

If your parent/ adult child relationship is strong enough and the respect level is where it should be, go for it.
Just remember and respect that once it's theirs don't try to control what they do with the property.

Growing up we lived next door to my uncle (dad's brother) and on the other side of my uncle was my grandma. When my uncle remarried a few years after his first wife passed, my parents bought his old house and moved into it. My older brother ended up buying the house we grew up in. His two boys are constantly at our parents house and the grandparents love it. I live about a block or so around the corner and down the street. It works very well for us. If the opportunity presented itself down the road to buy grandma's house, I probably would.
As we all age, having family close has it's benefits.

We have a solid relationship. He plans on staying in Tennessee so we are going to do our best to help him. As I can attest the Government does not pay well until after many years and hopping across the country to take the next step up.

 

[wcd]

If you have enough money to be able to buy the property back with a "right of first refusal" type of agreement, it might be OK. If not, I wouldn't do it. As others have mentioned, your son might one day want to sell due to life changes (job, kids, etc) and you end up with new neighbors you never bargained for. Or, maybe he gets divorced and your daughter-in-law keeps the house! (FUN!) Too many unknowns if you ask me. Besides, distance makes the heart grow fonder.

We have done the distance thing for a while now 11 hour drives each way are no fun.

We are only talking 15 acres at the front of the new place. Realistically if he were to sell down the road the an Anti Big Red type could move in and it would be a non issue.

 

[wcd]

Not knowing the details here there a few common considerations. It sounds like you have an unusually good relationship with your son but you don’t mention your daughter-in-law. If there is no daughter-in-law remember there probably will be. If there is one, divorce is a possibility.

Are you prepared to be the on call daycare endlessly?

What happens if your son moves? You may have neighbors from hell move in.

Maybe partner with him on a duplex where the tenant pays for his half of the house in another location until he can afford something else?

There a lot of options if we start slowly.

Not sure what housing cost are where you are?
Before we moved a 2 Br was going for between $1600 and $1800 a month!

We managed to move it’s a little smaller house but very nice and we did it with out a mortgage.

 

[planedriver]

That’s the going rate for the regular rentals I own. Lake front is obviously more and I have a waiting list for those houses. (I don’t understand why people think they can wait years for a chance at renting one. )

The high rental rate is why I suggested a duplex. If a guy starting out can put together the down stroke the tenant next door can make the payments. Eventually there will be enough equity to move on to something else.

 

[BigRed]

I often consider how a solid family partnership could be used very effectively.

 

[wcd]

That’s the going rate for the regular rentals I own. Lake front is obviously more and I have a waiting list for those houses. (I don’t understand why people think they can wait years for a chance at renting one. )

The high rental rate is why I suggested a duplex. If a guy starting out can put together the down stroke the tenant next door can make the payments. Eventually there will be enough equity to move on to something else.

Ok makes sense. For us it makes more sense to have him near by, also we will now have 3 or 4 that will be working part time perhaps moving to full time at peak season. It’s a big jump for us and he will be in charge of the help.

 

[wcd]

I often consider how a solid family partnership could be used very effectively.

I think very well, after taking a step away from it he has realized how much he enjoyed and misses it.

 

[Hawkeye7br]

I agree with others. Sell it to him but with provisions you can buy it back (first dibs) if he sells. And separate the utilities and driveway.